archived-videos Second Trailer of An Hour Past Her Time

Although you didn't ask for critique I will offer a few suggestions.
I think the non lineair thing is confusing (it makes the shots in the trailer feel a bit random). And using a more or less similar shot twice doesn't add to any tension or curiousity.
What if you cut out 0:02 till 0:10?
If you go from 'WTF?!' to not shaking hands it might work better as a trailer as it shows how she seems to be disconnected and antisocial.
If you combine 'like Jody Foster.' with 'my dad' it might become even weirder in a humorous way.

I watched it on a laptop and I couldn't hear the first line so well, either.
Maybe the line needs a little boost while the music can use a little EQ dip around 1200 Hz (to make more room for dialoque). (The audio pros might want to kill me for this simple approach, but hey, if it works, it works :P )
(Or maybe you don't need that shot in the trailer?)

The most recent trailer I made was still a bit too long, but I wanted to put too many names in it and I had little time to edit it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jSmppJWUGo

Before that I made fake trailers for easter:
(In one of the titles the vfx are off.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUQC9-PH_KA
 
So, you have nothing to show?

I asked for people to actually watch it not critique which I do not mind. Just come correct and be constructive.

Oops. I guess I missed the part about not critiquing. That is what you will get when you post on a filmmaking site. Then you say come correct and be constructive. That sounds like you want critique. Look like you just want glad hand. If I like something I will tell you. If I think there is a problem I will post to try and help with the problem. If it becomes apparent the someone thinks they are all that and not actually looking to make themselves a better filmmaker then I will at that point ignore that person. You have tricked yourself into believing you are all that and do not seem to want to make your films better. There are problems with your trailer. Period. You do not want to accept that. Fine. Done. I have a trailer I have posted before (that I know is not perfect) Here is the facebook link to it, sorry that is all I can access from my current location.

https://www.facebook.com/Waiting2DieShortFilm/videos/1051647404922798/
 
Although you didn't ask for critique I will offer a few suggestions.
I think the non lineair thing is confusing (it makes the shots in the trailer feel a bit random). And using a more or less similar shot twice doesn't add to any tension or curiousity.
What if you cut out 0:02 till 0:10?
If you go from 'WTF?!' to not shaking hands it might work better as a trailer as it shows how she seems to be disconnected and antisocial.
If you combine 'like Jody Foster.' with 'my dad' it might become even weirder in a humorous way.

I watched it on a laptop and I couldn't hear the first line so well, either.
Maybe the line needs a little boost while the music can use a little EQ dip around 1200 Hz (to make more room for dialoque). (The audio pros might want to kill me for this simple approach, but hey, if it works, it works :P )
(Or maybe you don't need that shot in the trailer?)

The most recent trailer I made was still a bit too long, but I wanted to put too many names in it and I had little time to edit it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jSmppJWUGo

Before that I made fake trailers for easter:
(In one of the titles the vfx are off.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUQC9-PH_KA
I appreciate your insight and aid. What you did was be constructive. That's what I can take but there's a lot of elitist attitudes.
 
Oops. I guess I missed the part about not critiquing. That is what you will get when you post on a filmmaking site. Then you say come correct and be constructive. That sounds like you want critique. Look like you just want glad hand. If I like something I will tell you. If I think there is a problem I will post to try and help with the problem. If it becomes apparent the someone thinks they are all that and not actually looking to make themselves a better filmmaker then I will at that point ignore that person. You have tricked yourself into believing you are all that and do not seem to want to make your films better. There are problems with your trailer. Period. You do not want to accept that. Fine. Done. I have a trailer I have posted before (that I know is not perfect) Here is the facebook link to it, sorry that is all I can access from my current location.

https://www.facebook.com/Waiting2DieShortFilm/videos/1051647404922798/
Deactivated my facebook so maybe another time. Constructive criticism for improvement for my next go around. Just crapping on me is nothing I will stand for and I must believe in myself before anyone else does. So, that's just me.
 
This trailer sucks ass.

Don't quit your day job dude.

THAT is crapping on somebody. Nothing in this tread is crapping, and everyone took the time to watch and comment. You don't get to dictate what type of comments you will receive, that is based on the work you post. If you want people to kiss your ass, this is not the right site. We are relatively troll free, and this site is hailed as being one where people actually help each other. If you can't see it, because you think your trailer is perfect, then I can't help you, and maybe you should show it to some close family, so they can rave about it.

Post it on reddit, and see what crapping on is really like.
 
This trailer sucks ass.

Don't quit your day job dude.

THAT is crapping on somebody. Nothing in this tread is crapping, and everyone took the time to watch and comment. You don't get to dictate what type of comments you will receive, that is based on the work you post. If you want people to kiss your ass, this is not the right site. We are relatively troll free, and this site is hailed as being one where people actually help each other. If you can't see it, because you think your trailer is perfect, then I can't help you, and maybe you should show it to some close family, so they can rave about it.

Post it on reddit, and see what crapping on is really like.
Maybe but it's cool and I am over it. It is what it is. It's not Hollywood quality but I did my damnedest.
 
Yes but nobody said you didn't! And I believe you did.

One thing WalterB said is, you often hear your own dialog differently because you are familiar. This is VERY true. When you know the words that are being said you hear them as they were intended. When you don't know beforehand, and the actor is talking fast, or the music is too loud, it can be incomprehensible to the non-familiar but your ears don't have a problem. I know you come from the music biz, the same holds true for misheard lyrics. How many songs have funny misheard lyrics but the songwriter/singer never heard it because they knew the actual words? There's songs where you swear they are singing one thing but it is totally something else. That happens with dialog, and if you are close to it, as in you wrote it, or a crew member, you don't hear it. That's why it's always good to listen to people that are hearing it for the first time. That happens to me with your trailer. I think with some breathing room around the words instead of the quick edits or music fade-ups, and a bit of a boost in audio, it will be there.
 
One thing WalterB said is, you often hear your own dialog differently because you are familiar.

Ahem...

You're also deeply familiar with both the script and the recorded footage and sound, so you already know the lines.

Freddy, here's what I suggest, because her audio is terrible and it needs to be addressed for the finished short: go back into the edit of this trailer and mute the music. Listen carefully to both actors. Close your eyes and listen. His audio is clear and up-front, with not too much of the "room" beneath his dialog. Hers sounds like she's in a bathroom... it's all "room" and no direct sound.

You say they were both wearing lavs, so where is that audio for her? It sounds like we're hearing her audio either from a camera mic or from the other lav, but it is clearly not from her lav. This may just be an oversight of the edit... her track was accidentally left out, unintentionally lowered or muted, whatever. It sounds bad, and if the audio from her lav indeed exists, it's an easy problem to fix.

It also sounds very much like the keys dropping on the table, and the purse dropping on the table, are production audio or even scratch (camera mic) audio. I'd replace those with SFX or Foley.
 
It's not Hollywood quality but I did my damnedest.
No one is expecting Hollywood quality, Freddy. And we all really want to help.
It's frustrating to be called elitist and read your sarcastic comments when I
see people helping you. Or trying to help.

I can tell from your trailer how hard you worked because I, too, was a first
time filmmaker. I hope that someday you will see that each person who
commented here only wants to see you succeed. Even me.

We really ARE rooting for you. All of us. Don't dig in and dismiss comments:
I can hear the dialog clearly over the phone so i can't take that critique seriously. It's finished now.
The sound is not an issue.
 
Cool, everyone. The last page is more of the advice I needed. I love the imagery but the sound is the weakness in regards to the whole film. I still submitted to a few festivals as is but if I get any selections, I'll tweak it some more. I submitted to Hollyshorts, Miami Short Film Fest and Central Florida Film Festival so far.
 
What has been said above holds validity. It is difficult to hear what is being said. I was able to make out what was being said, I just had to strain a bit to hear it. You'll find the suggestion of raising the volume a worthy note. It is tough to tell what the story is about exactly, although the title cards do help. Often I'll go back and try to get to the bare bones of the story and find the simplest way of conveying that message. Even having character flat out saying their motivation at times. Trailers sell your film, therefore withholding too much information from those you are selling to can harm you.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PPSrXIz2I0



Wow! This looks so incredibly pro. Not just the footage but the whole composition. What I would do to get to score something like this. Mmmm mmm mmm... ;-)


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Wow! This looks so incredibly pro. Not just the footage but the whole composition. What I would do to get to score something like this. Mmmm mmm mmm... ;-)


Skickat från min iPhone med Tapatalk



Woah.. hold the phone! That came out a bit slutty. I mean.. well you know what I mean. [emoji23]


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Originally Posted by Jaded
Wow! This looks so incredibly pro. Not just the footage but the whole composition. What I would do to get to score something like this. Mmmm mmm mmm... ;-)


Woah.. hold the phone! That came out a bit slutty. I mean.. well you know what I mean.


Thanks for the smile - I needed that :)
 
The sound could be better, focus on making sure the sound is the best you can possibly get it to be. Always have that one or two persons who are on set and have nothing to do but focus on the quality of the sound. Hope this helps and well done on making it.
 
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