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screenwriting 101 - can someone rewrite this correctly?

L

Libby

I just wanted to have an idea as to where to start and what to do. I fell asleep looking at the stuff on youtube and I looked it up online to no joy. So let me write a sample down....

Ext. shot of old house (open scene to show where story begins)
int. Marys living room.

Mary is seating on the couch. She is feeling down because she lost her job. She decides to call Sue in hopes of cheering her up.
Mary:
Hi Sue
Sue
Hi Mary.
Mary
Sue would you like to come over for lunch, I need to talk to you.
Sue
Sure I would.

Don't worry, its not a story I am writing but wanted to start off in the general direction of a phone call. I was wondering what is the correct format for something like this.


Thanks.
 
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EXT. MARY’S HOUSE - DAY

Set back from the street, paint peeling, a couple of the once
green shutters are of their hinges. One is in a blooming flower
bed.

INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY

MARY sits on the new looking couch, head in her hands. She
looks up and aimlessly surveys the room. Old mixed with new
- a big, flat screen TV is on a decades old ceder chest, the
carpet is ratty but the drapes are pressed and shiny.

Mary walks over th to TV, turns it on, then off again. She runs
her hand over the top. A little dust.

She plops into an old easy chair and picks up the phone. It’s
answered on the first ring.

SUE
Hello?

MARY
Hi Sue

SUE
Hi Mary.

MARY
Sue would you like to come over for
lunch, I need to talk to you.

SUE
Sure I would.
 
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directorik said:
EXT. MARY’S HOUSE - DAY

Set back from the street, paint peeling, a couple of the once
green shutters are of their hinges. One is in a blooming flower
bed.

INT. MARY’S LIVING ROOM - DAY

MARY sits on the new looking couch, head in her hands. She
looks up and aimlessly surveys the room. Old mixed with new
- a big, flat screen TV is on a decades old ceder chest, the
carpet is ratty but the drapes are pressed and shiny.

Mary walks over th to TV, turns it on, then off again. She runs
her hand over the top. A little dust.

She plops into an old easy chair and picks up the phone. It’s
answered on the first ring.

SUE
Hello?

MARY
Hi Sue

SUE
Hi Mary.

MARY
Sue would you like to come over for
lunch, I need to talk to you.

SUE
Sure I would.
Click to expand...

Thats good stuff...thanks! I will have to refer to this quite a bit.
 
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theauteur said:
Hey,

I wrote a sample scene for you. I've uploaded it as a pdf file on google docs, so that the formatting can be preserved. Here's the link. Tell me what you think of it.

http://docs.google.com/fileview?id=...DMtOTIyZS00ZmI4LWI4ZDAtNDI4MzA0MGFjMjI1&hl=en
Click to expand...

I like the flashback idea...although this isn't the actual story I was writing but the basics for a phone conversation are. Depending on my ability to organize everything will remain to be seen ... by me!

The actual story I have in mind is different but flashback can be put in place...it would be more like a reflection of something...anyway I am jotting thoughts in my head.

Thanks for the input. I have to spend a lot of time on this one.

I will certainly use this and directoriks as a reference!
 
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wheatgrinder said:
Download celtx, its a screen writing software (free) with examples and does a lot of the formatting for you. It will get you there quicker..
Click to expand...


I checked it out...it also has a lot of add on's. A few bucks for this and that...I was wondering what the free software offer...is it just samples?

Thanks.
 
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Libby said:
I like the flashback idea...although this isn't the actual story I was writing but the basics for a phone conversation are. Depending on my ability to organize everything will remain to be seen ... by me!

The actual story I have in mind is different but flashback can be put in place...it would be more like a reflection of something...anyway I am jotting thoughts in my head.

Thanks for the input. I have to spend a lot of time on this one.

I will certainly use this and directoriks as a reference!
Click to expand...

You are welcome. It was meant to be just a sample from my own take on the story. You can modify it anyway you want :)

Glad to help you out.
 
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Libby said:
I checked it out...it also has a lot of add on's. A few bucks for this and that...I was wondering what the free software offer...is it just samples?

Thanks.
Click to expand...

It's a screenwriting and preproduction software. You can write a script with it in various formats like stage plays and audio/video. The only drawback is that you have to be online to format your script correctly and export to PDF.

But if you're making a film, it's great. You can make storyboards, call sheets, schedule your production, etc. It's a great program until you can afford Movie Magic or Final Draft.
 
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Libby said:
I like the flashback idea...although this isn't the actual story I was writing but the basics for a phone conversation are. Depending on my ability to organize everything will remain to be seen ... by me!

The actual story I have in mind is different but flashback can be put in place...it would be more like a reflection of something...anyway I am jotting thoughts in my head.

Thanks for the input. I have to spend a lot of time on this one.

I will certainly use this and directoriks as a reference!
Click to expand...
I have a tendency to use a lot of flashblacks and I have a dificult time coming out of it. , so I feel
it is better if you use it to the minimum
padma
 
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