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Screenplay Cat Skinning
- Thread starter Guanto
- Start date
Hahaha, we're clearly not on the same page, Guanto. I think I should be explicitly clear in stating that I have no ill-will and do not mean to belittle. I just have an opinion that differs greatly from yours. Yes, I know the purpose of this thread and this sub-forum. The opinion I've stated is that, for the purpose of becoming a better screenwriter, I do not think one must spend so much time focusing on what is essentially grammatical minutia.
We're not writing poetry. We're telling stories. What I'm saying is that I think it's better to focus on the bigger picture. Don't miss the forest for the trees.
No, I did not spend a lot of time naming that character. My point is that I'm of the opinion that it's often better to use a name than a title. Readers don't connect with titles, they connect with names. No, every character doesn't have to have a name, but if we see them doing anything other than what their title consists of, they should probably have a name. When Sam jumps out of bed (yeah, I'm calling him that, haha), he is not being a sexton. Fine, I googled it, I now know what a sexton is. Jumping out of bed, while gasping for air, is not being a sexton. That's being a person, and people have names.
And yes, a director will do whatever the fuck they want with a screenplay. Some directors even encourage their actors to take liberty with the screenplay. I don't know why you would think otherwise.
We're not writing poetry. We're telling stories. What I'm saying is that I think it's better to focus on the bigger picture. Don't miss the forest for the trees.
No, I did not spend a lot of time naming that character. My point is that I'm of the opinion that it's often better to use a name than a title. Readers don't connect with titles, they connect with names. No, every character doesn't have to have a name, but if we see them doing anything other than what their title consists of, they should probably have a name. When Sam jumps out of bed (yeah, I'm calling him that, haha), he is not being a sexton. Fine, I googled it, I now know what a sexton is. Jumping out of bed, while gasping for air, is not being a sexton. That's being a person, and people have names.
And yes, a director will do whatever the fuck they want with a screenplay. Some directors even encourage their actors to take liberty with the screenplay. I don't know why you would think otherwise.
But, I did take part in this conversation:
I would strongly prefer a line like this one, because the verbs are more active, and we have a person instead of a title, and I would never spend more than a brief moment to consider the peculiarities of syntax.
I like this thread.
English is not my native language so at first I was thinking: why is a piece of artillery in bed? lol
(After that I made the connection to septon in Game of Thrones, hahaha, and then google explained it to me.)
I can appreciate the subtleties in this exercise although, as a non-native speaker it feels harder to really grasp them all quickly. So I can't really make a choice now. (But I feel like I'm learning something here.)
In Dutch some people would call this exercise 'f$%*ing kommas', but I do think (know) that weighing the way you phrase something can deeply influence the emotion and visualisation of the script.
But I like poetic prose.
English is not my native language so at first I was thinking: why is a piece of artillery in bed? lol
(After that I made the connection to septon in Game of Thrones, hahaha, and then google explained it to me.)
I can appreciate the subtleties in this exercise although, as a non-native speaker it feels harder to really grasp them all quickly. So I can't really make a choice now. (But I feel like I'm learning something here.)
In Dutch some people would call this exercise 'f$%*ing kommas', but I do think (know) that weighing the way you phrase something can deeply influence the emotion and visualisation of the script.
But I like poetic prose.
Yeah we're getting into the thick of things now for sure. Interpretation, imagination, etc.
When I finally allowed myself to break neutrality for a second, I pictured it quite different, even capitalized GASP to drive it home. So picture if you will, unfolding on a movie screen - The audience already knows through a well described scene thus far, that the sexton has been in a coma for weeks. Dare I say... "Suddenly"... the sextons face launches up from the laying position, fills the frame, mouth open, gasping for air like he hasn't breathed in weeks.
That viable, but random, scenario lends itself quite well to The sexton GASPS, sits up in bed or more streamlined The sexton sits up, GASPS!, if we've established he's in the bed well enough before hand of course. Even fighting the urge to put the dreaded "Suddenly" before it. No... mustn't... give... in.
-- Anyway for my money I would gladly trade out "spring" (and its extra clarifying words) for "sits" for the smoothness of the read and clarity of the action (he's still in the bed), wagering that a resounding GASP! probably wouldn't occur after a slow and leisurely sit-up. But again, this is getting a bit into compromise and preference, perhaps even "personal style" now. I think any of them could be correct depending on what the writer knows. Remember my additional fleshing out of the scene was under duress.
I'm sure other imaginative interpretations of what transpired prior to this line could make any of them work well enough.Exactly. Worth noting the Comma is still prevailing in most cases anyway, interestingly enough.
If I can expand the horizons of just one writer a day, I've done my part. (LOL!).
Yes of course, this kind of thread is chicken soup for the soul of any quasi-serious screen-writer. Good brain-food all around.
If you are cut of this cloth you can't help but appreciate this sort of workshop. And you are learning, as am I. Win win.
Besides, sure beats "Hey guys, review my shit" right?
BTW Walter, I did not peg English as a second language for you, and I usually can tell after a sentence or two, but you had me fooled.
Sadly the very babies we really have to kill when it comes to screenplays vs. novels and such. Gotta aim for lean and mean. Trim the fat. More blueprint than essay. Clarity, flow, readability trumps everything else.
Now, to keep a story engaging, and hopefully unique, within the confines of a 'rapid fire organized order of actions unfolding before a readers eyes' is the real magick trick. The separating of the men from the boys as they say.
There isn't a line that goes by me where I am not asking myself, "Myself, what is the quickest, cleanest way to paint the most vivid picture of what (and only what) I absolutely must convey?".
I've come to find that, simply put, a screenplay is story optimized for efficiency. A truly separate craft, not easy, not for everyone. I'd rather write a book any day of the week. Those of you foolhardy enough to step onto, or keep on down, this path... you're crazy. And I applaud you. *slow clap*
p.s.
The good news is, depending on your genre, story, style... there is some room for prose in dialog.
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Haha, thanks!
If you would hear me speak English you'd know from the first second
I know.
As reader I do love the more poeticly written books.
I don't really see myself as a scriptwriter (yet), as I only started writing a 'real' one this year. It's not always easy, indeed. When I write blogs about videoproduction and marketing I love using eloborate sentences (and irony). Otherwise it feels so boring and unimaginative.
So I can appreciate the struggle of chosing the right 'words, verbs and phrases'.