Save Point ad no 1

[Nate North]

I'm looking for some feedback on our first ad. This was about a 35 hour film project, that spanned 8 major versions.

 

[CelticRambler]

Maybe you're right, maybe there is a better phrase I can use to convey what I'm trying to communicate

The problem is I don't have funding, and so I'm doing things backwards and wrong for that simple reason.

This is exactly why you have to be careful, really careful, in your choice of words. You use an a-w-f-u-l lot of words, all the time, over and over again! But (from what you post here) you have a habit of just emptying everything onto the page, without considering how those words will be heard, and that's a critical issue.

To an extent, you're quite "French" in that regard. I live and work with various French committees and have lost track of how many times they simple declare that their event is and expect everyone to accept that as the truth ... regardless of commercial or other realities. When the public later trashes them on Facebook (or just doesn't bother to show up), it's the public's fault, not theirs.

You're perched precariously on that same fence at the moment. Myself and @indietalk are telling you that the phrase "broadcast quality" is a weak, wishy-washy, meaningless choice of words, not likely to inspire confidence or attract the right kind of attention ... and you've treated us to two 500-word essays on why we're wrong.

Write for your audience, not for yourself.

 

[mlesemann]

Myself and @indietalk are telling you that the phrase "broadcast quality" is a weak, wishy-washy, meaningless choice of words, not likely to inspire confidence or attract the right kind of attention ... and you've treated us to two 500-word essays on why we're wrong.

This reminds me of MANY film festival q&a's that I've attended following screenings. Viewers tell the director that thing x about the movie was confusing. The director says "no it's not."

If viewers say it's confusing, then it IS, regardless of what the director thinks.