Prepare to have your mind blown!

there's a difference between questioning the official story and actually saying the empire blew it up themselves.

If you just shoot people down for questioning things, then rationality aside, you make it impossible for people to let the issue go on an emotional level.
 
Sidewalkbowling said:
there's a difference between questioning the official story and actually saying the empire blew it up themselves.

If you just shoot people down for questioning things, then rationality aside, you make it impossible for people to let the issue go on an emotional level.
Click to expand...

Gonna take your comment at face-value.

1. The droids who carried the plans of the Death Star to the Rebels were once owned by, and manufactured by, Darth Vader.
2. The starfighter who allegedly shot the missile that blew up the Death Star is known to be the son of Darth Vader.
3. Darth Vader mysteriously chose to enter a dogfight in the midst of the attack on the Death Star -- this is not even slightly normal for the commander of the Empire.

These three facts, alone, cast serious doubt on the official Empire's story of how the Death Star was attacked.


Okay, now gonna take your comments at non-face-value.

This is funny. That's all. I don't think it's supposed to be political commentary, in any way.

The piece definitely pokes fun of conspiracy-theorists, but you know what? They got it coming. You seen "Zeitgeist"? It's pretty well-made. It's also full of lies and falsehoods. Yet, conspiracy-theorists latch onto it, like it's gospel. Conspiracy-theorists have an image-problem, and they have nobody to blame but themselves, because unfortunately, the conspiracy-theorist tends to be represented by the college-freshman-know-it-all-who-insists-that-the-rest-of-the-world-(including-you)-is-a-bunch-of-idiots.

Please, I implore you, question the official account of what happened on 9/11. What's more, let's ask why we invaded Afghanistan and Iraq. Yes, we should ask these questions.

But that shouldn't stop us from laughing at a parody piece that is pretty F-ing hilarious.
 
Cracker Funk said:
Gonna take your comment at face-value.
1. The droids who carried the plans of the Death Star to the Rebels were once owned by, and manufactured by, Darth Vader.
2. The starfighter who allegedly shot the missile that blew up the Death Star is known to be the son of Darth Vader.
3. Darth Vader mysteriously chose to enter a dogfight in the midst of the attack on the Death Star -- this is not even slightly normal for the commander of the Empire.
Click to expand...

(running with it, because I can't resist a good star wars conversation and it's much more fun than Monday morning at work)

1. Good point. And the "memory erase" performed on them could have buried instructions, making them sleeper agents. That just "happened" to get their hands on the plans, "coincidentally" landing on the planet where Luke was hiding out. Vader might not have thought his kid was on Alderaan, but would he have forgotten to CHECK his hometown? Doubtful.

2. Luke Skywalker, Star Wars' very own Lee Harvey Oswald. Raised in relative isolation (though one questions Vader's influence on his upbringing, if we accept point 1), spoonfed the proper information by the droids so that he'd be in position to take the shot on the death star. Luke fires on the exhaust valve (after Vader gets himself clear, of course), accomplishing nothing, but cueing the imperial second gunman to trigger the explosives from the Grassy Moon of Knoll.

3. Well, Vader was sort of the 900lb gorilla of the Empire. Certainly lower rank than Grand Moff Tarkin, who was in command of the Death Star (and obviously not in on the plan). So it would have been reasonable to go off into battle, and take non-lethal damage (you know, the ONLY Tie Fighter to do that...tell me his wasn't rigged).

My favorite crackpot theory/conspiracy theory about star wars (also a joke) was the whole original trilogy was just force actives trying to die in front of Luke. Obi Wan was holding his own against Vader, until Luke shows up, then takes a dive. Boom, force ghost! He tells his ailing friend Yoda about this, who summons Luke. Afraid he might die at any time, Yoda says "don't leave...ummm...your training isn't complete. That's it", but to no avail. Fortunately, he manages to make it back in time for Yoda to kick it, and gets to be a ghost. The Emperor is much less subtle. He gets wind of what's going on and just flat out tells Luke "kill me". Luke being the contrary bastard that he is, says no. Vader takes the initiative and kills the Emperor...by throwing him out of range of Luke's vision, and in the process taking enough damage that he dies himself. In front of Luke. Force ghost for him!
 
Vader was recently confronted by Imperial documentary filmmaker Michael Zoor'e about the invasion of Hoth and the Imperial army's continued station on Endor, and his reply was:

"Look. I don't wanna talk about this right now... Now watch this drive."

Where he proceeded to continue golfing on his personal golf course located on Tatooine at Camp Vader.
 
I don't know the details, but I do know the results. The destruction of the first Death Star has

served as nothing more than a vessel for higher taxation, reduction of Empirial Security,

EMPIAide, and EMPICare for the elderly and poor. And now, as if higher taxes and reduced

benifits weren't enough, the empire has decided we need a new Death Star to protect us.

And what comes with a new Death Star?? Ships. That's right, ships ships and more ships. Oh

sure, this is great for the military/industrial complex and their minions doing the work.


And all of this is said to be for our protection. Protection from what?? A couple of Ewoks

on Endor or scrap junking Jawas. Or maybe its from some dangerous cargo smugglers. It

seems the empire has taken the stance of bringing a Death Star to a water pistol fight.
 
The empire better watch out and stop borrowing money from the Chissese. You know in Chissia, they manufacture almost all of the tie-fighters and stormtrooper uniforms for the Empire? The empire no longer makes it's own clothing... Sad.
 
Murdock said:
I don't know the details, but I do know the results. The destruction of the first Death Star has

served as nothing more than a vessel for higher taxation, reduction of Empirial Security,

EMPIAide, and EMPICare for the elderly and poor. And now, as if higher taxes and reduced

benifits weren't enough, the empire has decided we need a new Death Star to protect us.

And what comes with a new Death Star?? Ships. That's right, ships ships and more ships. Oh

sure, this is great for the military/industrial complex and their minions doing the work.


And all of this is said to be for our protection. Protection from what?? A couple of Ewoks

on Endor or scrap junking Jawas. Or maybe its from some dangerous cargo smugglers. It

seems the empire has taken the stance of bringing a Death Star to a water pistol fight.
Click to expand...

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
I can't resist a feeding frenzy...

The Emperor is only restoring honor at a non-political gathering at the mall.

The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master.
 
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