archived-videos Memories - Very short film

Ferguson Films

Ferguson Films

This is the other film I wrote at the same time that I wrote 'Night Gaunts'

I wanted to try and get something emotional and after typing out all 222 words (just over one page) I made myself cry....

and i'm hoping I can make you 'feel' what the main actor should be feeling in this just over 2 minute short .


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTifa8fLvBc


of course, any and all feed back is welcomed!
 
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Imho, strong and sad story for a 2 minute short but the technical inconsistencies (jarring cuts and significant changes in the grade) distract the viewer from getting involved.
 
Thanks guys,

I'm thinking both of these comments are aimed at the same timeframe, The jarring cuts are pomident there (1:11 - 1:27) all though it doesn't look to bad on film it was very wet windy and rocky I couldnt get a good clip of the actor walking to and from the edge of the rocks and now you mention it it does hit me square in the face when I watch it back.

The change in the grade.... is poor planning on a windy day, we ran out of ash.... the wind blew and we did take after take... and at the end of the shooting we went on a door knock - by the time we got back to shoot the close up's the sea mist was almost all gone - at the time of filming it didn't look a lot differant but during editing I couln'd get it to look the same.

Steve; the clips are in the right order as above - we could reallyu of done with the shot's of him walking forward and back I am sure those extra few seconds would have given it a less 'weird' look.



Thanks for the feed back, I will add your comments to my notes and try again... somtime in March I guess!
 
100% agreed with Ernest Worthing, couldn't've said it better.

Only other note is that your pacing of cutting is also distracting and we could have done with fewer static shots in the very beginning.
 
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