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critique Leopold Augustus Bach

Spike

Spike

Havn't posted anything here in a while, so here's something. Working on a sequence, the life and death of Leopold Augustus Bach. The players here are Sebastian (JS Bach, 33); his wife, Maria Barbara; (34) Maria Barbara's elder sister, part of the household, Friedelena (43); his daughter Catherina (10); the three sons, Friedemann (9), Gottfried (5), and Carl (4); Duke Earnst August of Weimar (30) and Dutchess Wilhelmene, (23); and Leopold, Prince of Anhault Köthen (25). And i needed a midwife, Frau . . . and the first name that came to mind was.. . . Blüchermann. (Blame Mel Brooks, lol.) anyway: four pages.

EDIT: Have re-uploaded this several times, tweaking and tweaking, and this final version (actually, "final version" 16 now) is different from the previous ones in a small but I think important way. I had wanted this birth scene to be quick and light-hearted, but hadn't really acknowledged the seriousness of giving bifth at this time, 1718, always potentially life-threatening for both mother and child. And so, in addition to the little bit of comedy around Sebastian's "schedule" a bit of fear, just a hint. Friedelena, instead of ending her line with "it is time." Says, instead, "It will go well. I know it.," deepening a little, I think, both of their characters, he primarily concerned for Barbara, and she for both parents.

 
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I like these recordings a lot, I just have a hard time getting enthusiastic about them these days, Not because they are spectacular, Which they are, But because these Glenn Gould recordings got played on auto repeat until the vinyl wore out and my house from 1980 to 1995. Dad was once a virtuoso classical pianist, And we just listened to a lot of Glenn Gould.

I was more of a Stravinsky/Mussorgsky type person, But I always liked these Gould recordings.

How come nobody ever mentions Morton Gould?
 
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In the film, it would be on harpsichaord, and only for a few seconds. But I like Glenn's tempo and articulation here. For the scene, the Partita, I thought, would be a bit inappropriately, maybe comically, fast and busy, esp. if played as Gould plays it. And the Prelude, again, slightly comical, almost a parody of waiting.
 
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In the script, there's some Handel and Vivaldi, since each makes a cameo appearance. Otherwise it's, of course, all Bach, and most of that "live," performed (as it is here) as part of the scene.
 
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Oops. Inadvertently killed the link above: here again, 4.25 pages.


And a word? Anyone?

I gave up on the project for a while. I so easily get diverted, but am returning now again, trying to cook up some resolution, ambition, energy, to finally get through it. Anyway.

I suppose not much to say about the scene; not much drama. But In the story, there is a new child, who, sadly, doesn't live long, a significant event, in the five year period in which this takes place, for both story and theamy-type stuff. I have the funeral, but realized I should have the birth as well, and this is it.

It is supposed to be happy, to contrast with, you know, sad. Also hoped it would be a little fun and interesting. Questions would be about pacing--does it read, would it watch, OK? Action lines concise, precise, well written? Was the humor humourous? Did the dialogue seem natural enough?

I use Sebastian as a bit of comic relief; couldn't resist a bit of nervous-father business. (Yes, I have watched way--way way--too much TV in my life) A rationale, probably an excuse, is that the Baroque aesthetic, virtually defined by JS Bach, values order and symmetry, which he wants here, futilely, to impose. Without it he kind of flounders. But is it too sit-com ish?

Anyway, for context, here is the start of the next bit. Actors are still Sebastian (33), Maria Barbara (34), Friedelena (43), Catherina (10), Friedemann (9), Gottfried (5), Carl (4), and Prince Leopold (25). Additional actors are Marcus and Speiss, principal violinists in the Kothen Kapelle, and Torlen and Freitag, principal winds.. -- 3 1/2 pages.

 
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And here, the first minutes of the second scene, to "when he wills," at 4:45. (And if you watch, make sure the CC is on.)



And guys, this, the NBS's beautiful production, makes me leak from my eyes. And if it doesn't make anyone else so leak, or at least lean toward such leakage . . . It is all for naught. Anyway.
 
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CelticRambler said:
Will try ... soon. I did read the first upload, but it came at a bad time on account of that dastardly JS and his inconveniently timed birthday party. :mad:

Oh, and also other stuff!
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No sweat. (And sorry to whine, lol.)

And don't knock yourself out. It just motivates me, a little, to think of something being read by someone other than Spike. Just a word, (something like "Masterful!") is fine. :)
 
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Spike said:
Oops. Inadvertently killed the link above: here again, 4.25 pages.


And a word? Anyone?
Click to expand...

Ill Be Back Arnold Schwarzenegger GIF by Jeopardy!


Not everybody is a history nerd.
I would bet if I went to the grocery store and asked strangers not even half of them would be able to tell me Bachs full name.

Apparently Sebastian is actually Bach's middle name? I'd like more clarification, I don't want to be confused at the first line of a script.
"INT. BACH HOME - NIGHT Sebastian enters," should change to SEBASTIAN BACH

I like the story, it has drama and urgency, nice job!
I'd like to have a little more direction on the off screen moan.

Moan can be a lot of things, can be pain, can be sexual, can be whiny, etc
 
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Thanks, sfoster, for reading and taking the time to leave a note. Yea, in writing about the 1720s I have had to learn a lot of stuff, little questions, here and there, like: What kind of hat would this person be wearing? Would little Carl Philippe Emanuel Bach have been called Carl, Philippe, or Emanuel? The AI, frankly has been pretty useful in this stuff. For example, GPT pointed me towards this:

Given names
a. In the 17th and 18th centuries –
iNearly all males baptized with prefix name of Johann or Hans
Nearly all females baptized with prefix name of Anna or Maria
Both genders usually shed the prefix name and went by what we’d call
their "middle" name – to them, the Rufname ("call name")
b. In the 19th and 20th centuries –
i. Both genders usually carried 3 given names, often using only one in later
life but not consistent as to order
Click to expand...

So yea, JS Bach would definitely have been addressed as Sebastian, and I think a viewer, or reader, would get used to this pretty quickly--the scenes above are around page 60.

I learn something and drop it in, as if it is something everyone should know, like, for example, the "Theorbo Lute." But I don't want to clunk up the prose by explaining everything; in context, it can be guessed what kind of thing it is, and if anyone cares to, they can just look it up, lol.

Same with "apse" "viola de gamba" or even "fugue." I doubt if that many people actually know what a fugue is, (and I'm not saying I think they should) but by the end of this script, they should have a pretty good idea. The idea of fugue is central to the Baroque era, and central to some meta theamy-type stuff in the script.


Yea, I didn't notice that there might be one too many instances of off-screen moans and screams of child birth. And I agree, I don't like "moan," and "scream" might be too much. "Yelp?" Or maybe a "Jesus H. Christ!" Thanks, this is a good observation.

And thanks again for reading :)
 
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And... Maybe one of the little kids, maybe both, can at this point make the sign of the cross, mistaking a curse for a prayer, before Sebastian ushers them away. This might be a memorable little comic moment.

Edit: just realized I thought this was funny because i think Rod and Todd Flanders are funny. Oh well.
 
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Further to my earlier reply, and your subsequent posts ...

Spike said:
(And if you watch, make sure the CC is on.)
...
Yea, in writing about the 1720s I have had to learn a lot of stuff, little questions, here and there, like: What kind of hat would this person be wearing? Would little Carl Philippe Emanuel Bach have been called Carl, Philippe, or Emanuel?
...
Same with "apse" "viola de gamba" or even "fugue."
Click to expand...

The quotes above go some way to explaining why I haven't (yet) commented on the excerpts you've provided. Not because it's "some weird shit" but because it's so close to much of my daily life!

For a while, I was puzzled by the instruction to turn on the CCs because ... well ... it's just what they're signing, isn't it ...? 🤔 A month ago, although Mathilde's viola de gamba was a massive presence on stage, my attention (and drool) was focused entirely on the violinist to her right (her, again, still bewitched ... 🤤 ) Bach, Handel, Vivaldi, Scarlatti ... - they're all lads you're likely to meet on the street in any town between Dublin and Vienna. And the tradition of giving a child one name, then giving it another for daily use continued right up until my generation.

Which is, perhaps, a very roundabout way of saying that the passages you've shared so far ring true in terms of the mise en scène ... but I'm wary of trying to offer an in-depth critique because it's all too real for me. In the latest "intermezzo" chapter, I can see the nails and feel the timber in Fraulein (Frau, if she's a mother?) Taust's door. I've tried re-reading some of the passages in the hope of achieving some useful objectivity, but that's only made things worse (ohhh, right, it's that number 12, I didn't pick up on the "three streets over" the first time ... that's the one with the metalworker's shop on the corner, isn't it, curves down towards the river andthat funny fountain sculpture ...)

In the light of the foregoing, all I can really say is that, compared to the dry, academic descriptions of JSB's life and work, it makes for a very enjoyable read! And - so far - has much less of a pantomime feel than Amadeus.
 
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CelticRambler said:
v. . .
In the light of the foregoing, all I can really say is that, compared to the dry, academic descriptions of JSB's life and work, it makes for a very enjoyable read!
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Honestly, CR, that's enough for me. These excerpts are shared not just for critiques (although I certainly do appreciate any) but also because I hoped someone might enjoy them. As a would-be writer, I know I wouldn't be for everybody, but, to get any pages at all, I have to be able to imagine i might be for somebody 🙃.

And I know you have some knowledge of, and affection for, pre-classical era music and culture. So thanks.

(and of course, Frau, not Fraulein--good catch . :) )
 
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CelticRambler said:
. . . only made things worse (ohhh, right, it's that number 12, I didn't pick up on the "three streets over" the first time ... that's the one with the metalworker's shop on the corner, isn't it, curves down towards the river andthat funny fountain sculpture ...)
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And i have to pause to notice: dang, that's some fancy formatting--a visual representation of a state, a chain of different shades of thought and memory and feeling, a bit melancholy, trailing off, dimmer and dimmer, into infinity. :)
 
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Spike said:
dang, that's some fancy formatting--a visual representation of a state, a chain of different shades of thought and memory and feeling, a bit melancholy ...
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You have Zora to thank for that! Although not so much melancholic memory as futuristic fantastising. She has become my muse! 😻

If I can get to speak to her for more than five minutes at a stage door every six to nine months, I'm hoping she'll agree to be the This Is Serious Music representative in the retelling of an Irish-meets-Italian baroque legend. I had hoped to have that opportunity in a couple of weeks, between dances at an event in Basel ... but it's the day after JSB's birthday party and she obviously prefers much older men than me, so she'll be away ... :(

(If you didn't already know, the "early music" people across Europe put on a host of concerts on the 21st March every year)
 
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Gather ye rosebuds, my lovesick Celtic friend. And looking at the ambassadors to the Early Music Day (and thanks for the link): with Frauleins Fleischanderl, Oberlinger, Beyer, Pashchenko, and Podger, and . . . Do you need a wing-man?

Also, I'm familiar with Jean (Jebus) Rondeau, for his NBS video of the Goldberg Variations, and ... dude!

Edit: ah, just noticed--ambassadors of years past. But i checked out this year's, Franziska, on the you tube: Stunning!

 
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And . . . I know there's some debate here, but i think I can call (at least some) baroque music "early music" (it's certainly not "classical music," which, honestly, I'm not that crazy about)--e.g. Ms. Fleischanderl playing Vivaldi on her thingamajig.

Edit: (but of course WTF do I know:) )
 
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