I don't even have a logline, yet. That's how much it's just a concept. Also, the concept is very obviously inspired by another movie (I'm curious to know which of you can recognize the movie I'm so blatantly ripping off), but I'm okay with that. Same concept, but different story, and told differently. Anyway, don't spend too much time critiqueing this; I'm just looking for any random thoughts any of you might have.
Working title: "In Service of His Nation"
In the future, America's military is born and raised to fight, literally. It's like the clones in "Star Wars", except they're not genetically engineered. They are normal human beings, raised from birth to be the ultimate soldier. This detail is key -- they are normal people. So, they have emotions. But they are isolated from "normal" society. They live in their own little bubble of a world.
Anyway, that's the sci-fi premise; here's the story:
John is at the top of his class. He is in his mid-teens, very talented and strong, but a few years away from graduating, to become a soldier. His best friend, Eric, is also the best of the best. They grew up with each other, not as friends, but brothers. Each "class" of soldiers is raised together, like a family.
One night, while John and his classmates are sleeping, a group of terrorists breaks into the training compound, intent on slaughtering an entire class of future soldiers. These terrorists are largely succesful. In one nightmare of a night, John is awoken in the midst of this slaughter. He fights back. He successfully fends off (and kills) the attackers, but not before they brutally kill every one of John's classmates (brothers). Needless to say, Eric is by John's side as they fend off the attackers, but he does not survive, and it is tragic.
So, at this point, John has literally lost everything. Those 15 classmates were his entire family. He's shellshocked beyond recognition. Furthermore, these soldiers function as a class -- John can't just transfer to another class; that'd be introducing the risk of one bad apple messing up the chemistry of another class that has been in developement for a long time. Cost-benefit analysis makes it pretty clear that John will never be a soldier. Yet, the military can't just release him upon the world. As he rests in the infirmary, speculation abounds. Will he spend his life in the brig, tossed aside? Is there any possibility he might be "put out of his misery"?
With this whirlwind of speculation circling the barracks, an older class, some mentors to the boys, decide to break John out, knowing full-well the court-marshall that awaits them. The break-out is of course a success. John is now free, in the "real" world.
He's also lost. He wasn't raised to live in a city. It's not very long before he finds himself in a dangerous situation -- street thugs trying to mess with him, or something. Little do they know that they've chosen the wrong teennager to mess with. With his uuber-military training, John makes Jason Bourne look like a sissy. He doesn't just dispatch foes quickly, but brutally -- at all times, his first option is to kill his enemy as fast as possible, and the average gang of street thugs are no match.
Within days, this mystery super-badass gains legendary noteriety. He's wanted by authorities and crime-lords alike. And, of course, the military is actively looking for their lost problem-child. On TV, pundits speculate that he might be an escaped soldier. This subject is a lightning-rod in the future political climate -- breeding soldiers is a highly controversial practice.
John is pretty darned-resourceful, and redefines well-trained, so he is able to survive just fine on the streets. But he's just surviving, not living. Until, one day, BOY MEETS GIRL. This girl is also struggling to survive the harsh realities of future inner-city life. John stumbles across her at a moment when she is vulnerable, and he steps in to help. Instead of thanks, however, John's "help" is met with anger. First off, his extreme brutality in dispatching the bad-guys is rather scary to this girl -- she has a hard time not seeing him as a monster. Secondly, she didn't want his help. Yeah, she was in a rough spot, but his violent ways actually made matters worse, so thanks but no-thanks, you violent jerk-wad.
In a later episode, they meet again. This time, girl sees John in a new light. This time, she sees that it is he who is vulnerable and in need of help. Plus, there are those news-stories, and all the public speculation about who this mystery super-badass is. Against her better judgement, she offers refuge, allowing John to hide in her apartment.
Cue full-blown romance. I haven't figured out even any rough ideas of how this section of the movie will work, but it's basically the John-learns-to-be-normal section of the movie, while falling in love with girl. He stays in the apartment the entire time (save for maybe one or two brief and fun adventures).
Eventually, of course, the bad-guys need to come a-knocking. Plus, he couldn't logistically stay in that apartment forever, anyway. I'm not sure what or how, but something convinces John to leave his confines. I think I'm leaning towards the girls' roommate -- the roommate gets into the wrong kind of trouble with the wrong kind of people. The roommate has been really awesome to John, plus, somehow the trouble that the roommate is in is somehow partially caused by John's being there.
John, with his special training, is in a unique position to solve the problem. He knows that this inner-city mafia will be no match for him. He can easily save the day, rescuing roommate from trouble. But, of course he'd be exposing himself to a world of authority that is aggresively hunting him, and by now, his face is plastered on every news channel.
Cue the big emotional "I Love You" scene. His girl doesn't want him to go; it's not his fault, she says. Yes, it is my fault, I have to save roommate. I Love You! I have to do this.
Cue giant climactic finale. First, he has to dispatch the mafia. Big task, but easy enough for him. Obviously, this activity attracts the attention of those he's trying to avoid. The entire citie's police force is on the chase, now. Doesn't take long for the military to enter the mix, as well.
Super-long extended chase-scene. John is running, and running, from those who try to take him in. At some point, he realizes the futility of it all. He's not going to escape, and in a moment of madness, decides to take the fight to them.
Through it all, he keeps his fighting tactics non-lethal. Acting on pure emotion, without even so much as a purpose, John storms the military compound from whence he came. By this point, everything is playing out on live TV -- OJ Simpson's white Bronco times ten.
Though John is using non-lethat tactics, law-enforcement is not. As badass as he is, he has started a fight he can't win. John is fatally shot. On live TV. At the entrance to the military compound. With his girl by his side. Of course they meet for one final embrace, as John utters his last words, "Thank You".
Yes, I know it's cheesy. Yes, I know a lot of it is cliche. I don't care. In my opinion, cheesy and cliche can be turned into something awesome. Anyway, I'd appreciate any random thoughts, no matter how big or small.
Thanks!
Working title: "In Service of His Nation"
In the future, America's military is born and raised to fight, literally. It's like the clones in "Star Wars", except they're not genetically engineered. They are normal human beings, raised from birth to be the ultimate soldier. This detail is key -- they are normal people. So, they have emotions. But they are isolated from "normal" society. They live in their own little bubble of a world.
Anyway, that's the sci-fi premise; here's the story:
John is at the top of his class. He is in his mid-teens, very talented and strong, but a few years away from graduating, to become a soldier. His best friend, Eric, is also the best of the best. They grew up with each other, not as friends, but brothers. Each "class" of soldiers is raised together, like a family.
One night, while John and his classmates are sleeping, a group of terrorists breaks into the training compound, intent on slaughtering an entire class of future soldiers. These terrorists are largely succesful. In one nightmare of a night, John is awoken in the midst of this slaughter. He fights back. He successfully fends off (and kills) the attackers, but not before they brutally kill every one of John's classmates (brothers). Needless to say, Eric is by John's side as they fend off the attackers, but he does not survive, and it is tragic.
So, at this point, John has literally lost everything. Those 15 classmates were his entire family. He's shellshocked beyond recognition. Furthermore, these soldiers function as a class -- John can't just transfer to another class; that'd be introducing the risk of one bad apple messing up the chemistry of another class that has been in developement for a long time. Cost-benefit analysis makes it pretty clear that John will never be a soldier. Yet, the military can't just release him upon the world. As he rests in the infirmary, speculation abounds. Will he spend his life in the brig, tossed aside? Is there any possibility he might be "put out of his misery"?
With this whirlwind of speculation circling the barracks, an older class, some mentors to the boys, decide to break John out, knowing full-well the court-marshall that awaits them. The break-out is of course a success. John is now free, in the "real" world.
He's also lost. He wasn't raised to live in a city. It's not very long before he finds himself in a dangerous situation -- street thugs trying to mess with him, or something. Little do they know that they've chosen the wrong teennager to mess with. With his uuber-military training, John makes Jason Bourne look like a sissy. He doesn't just dispatch foes quickly, but brutally -- at all times, his first option is to kill his enemy as fast as possible, and the average gang of street thugs are no match.
Within days, this mystery super-badass gains legendary noteriety. He's wanted by authorities and crime-lords alike. And, of course, the military is actively looking for their lost problem-child. On TV, pundits speculate that he might be an escaped soldier. This subject is a lightning-rod in the future political climate -- breeding soldiers is a highly controversial practice.
John is pretty darned-resourceful, and redefines well-trained, so he is able to survive just fine on the streets. But he's just surviving, not living. Until, one day, BOY MEETS GIRL. This girl is also struggling to survive the harsh realities of future inner-city life. John stumbles across her at a moment when she is vulnerable, and he steps in to help. Instead of thanks, however, John's "help" is met with anger. First off, his extreme brutality in dispatching the bad-guys is rather scary to this girl -- she has a hard time not seeing him as a monster. Secondly, she didn't want his help. Yeah, she was in a rough spot, but his violent ways actually made matters worse, so thanks but no-thanks, you violent jerk-wad.
In a later episode, they meet again. This time, girl sees John in a new light. This time, she sees that it is he who is vulnerable and in need of help. Plus, there are those news-stories, and all the public speculation about who this mystery super-badass is. Against her better judgement, she offers refuge, allowing John to hide in her apartment.
Cue full-blown romance. I haven't figured out even any rough ideas of how this section of the movie will work, but it's basically the John-learns-to-be-normal section of the movie, while falling in love with girl. He stays in the apartment the entire time (save for maybe one or two brief and fun adventures).
Eventually, of course, the bad-guys need to come a-knocking. Plus, he couldn't logistically stay in that apartment forever, anyway. I'm not sure what or how, but something convinces John to leave his confines. I think I'm leaning towards the girls' roommate -- the roommate gets into the wrong kind of trouble with the wrong kind of people. The roommate has been really awesome to John, plus, somehow the trouble that the roommate is in is somehow partially caused by John's being there.
John, with his special training, is in a unique position to solve the problem. He knows that this inner-city mafia will be no match for him. He can easily save the day, rescuing roommate from trouble. But, of course he'd be exposing himself to a world of authority that is aggresively hunting him, and by now, his face is plastered on every news channel.
Cue the big emotional "I Love You" scene. His girl doesn't want him to go; it's not his fault, she says. Yes, it is my fault, I have to save roommate. I Love You! I have to do this.
Cue giant climactic finale. First, he has to dispatch the mafia. Big task, but easy enough for him. Obviously, this activity attracts the attention of those he's trying to avoid. The entire citie's police force is on the chase, now. Doesn't take long for the military to enter the mix, as well.
Super-long extended chase-scene. John is running, and running, from those who try to take him in. At some point, he realizes the futility of it all. He's not going to escape, and in a moment of madness, decides to take the fight to them.
Through it all, he keeps his fighting tactics non-lethal. Acting on pure emotion, without even so much as a purpose, John storms the military compound from whence he came. By this point, everything is playing out on live TV -- OJ Simpson's white Bronco times ten.
Though John is using non-lethat tactics, law-enforcement is not. As badass as he is, he has started a fight he can't win. John is fatally shot. On live TV. At the entrance to the military compound. With his girl by his side. Of course they meet for one final embrace, as John utters his last words, "Thank You".
Yes, I know it's cheesy. Yes, I know a lot of it is cliche. I don't care. In my opinion, cheesy and cliche can be turned into something awesome. Anyway, I'd appreciate any random thoughts, no matter how big or small.
Thanks!
