archived-videos I'm very proud of this short film...

M

mus

And here's why...

A. I think it is very funny.

B. We were going to shoot a different short on the day, but our tripod broke and we didn't want that short to be shot handheld, so I came up with this short little idea, because we wanted to film something

C. All of the dialogue is improvised, which I love doing improv.

D. Although, it is a parody, I feel it has a very sweet message at the end.

E. I get to post it on this forum and ask you good people for your opinion, so please leave me some feedback.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ewxVlHp4sQ


P.S. If any noobs out there are thinking of buying a DSLR, there is a shot in there, with audio that is a clear example of why you NEED an external microphone (and a windsock, plus a tripod.)
 
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I actually like the idea of this. However, I don't think the execution was good. I feel as though there was no directing going on - these guys didn't feel like actors and their timing wasn't right. Timing is very important when doing comedy and without good actors and no director to direct these actors to deliver their lines properly, you get an awkward movie.

I'd suggest to try and work on directing one guy into perfectly delivering his lines as a start. While you're at it, keep on revising the script.
 
I didn't think it was funny because it was repetative to me. The camera kept cutting to these guys basically saying the same thing. I wouldn't have put the comment of the six year old dying because I would think VERY few people would find that funny.

I thought of the graveyard thing myself with the dead person talking ...becaues I think graveyards are awesome.

The basic idea was there but I didn't finish watching it because it just went on and on about the same thing - I drank and drove. I died. I hit a girl and a pole or something.
 
Danielassault said:
I actually like the idea of this. However, I don't think the execution was good. I feel as though there was no directing going on - these guys didn't feel like actors and their timing wasn't right. Timing is very important when doing comedy and without good actors and no director to direct these actors to deliver their lines properly, you get an awkward movie.

I'd suggest to try and work on directing one guy into perfectly delivering his lines as a start. While you're at it, keep on revising the script.
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It was thought of on the day and ad-libbed. It was just a simple sketch
 
mussonman said:
E. I get to post it on this forum and ask you good people for your opinion, so please leave me some feedback.
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For an on-the-day, ad-libbed, simple sketch I didn’t find it
funny. I can see how you and your friends enjoy this and
that’s a fine start, but for those of us outside of your circle
of friends it just doesn’t work. It looks like you all are having
fun, but I wasn’t. For example, to you the reflection is funny
- to me it looks like you allowed a mistake in your movie
and didn’t bother to correct it.

You may love doing improve but it all felt forced to me. If
you hadn’t put (Comedy Sketch) I would not even know
your intent was to be funny.

Cool they you like it. As you progress you may consider making
a sketch comedy that people who don’t know you and your
friends will find funny. But this is a great start.
 
directorik said:
As you progress you may consider making
a sketch comedy that people who don’t know you and your
friends will find funny. But this is a great start.
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Well, we actually have a lot of fans we've never met that found it hilarious. I also think age is important when viewing this. I'm not sure if my friends like it, because I haven't showed it to them yet. But I've heard good feedback everywhere but here and the horrible site known as ebaumsworld (and i only post things there just because the trolls make me laugh)
 
Hmm...

The intention with a sketch like this is surely to stir up controversy which you've clearly done, so in that sense it's a success.

Did I find it funny? I'm afraid not. If you're going to take such a sensitive subject matter then you've really got to nail your jokes because otherwise it will just appear in poor taste. I can see why your friends would enjoy it, I'm sure I'd enjoy it more if I knew some of the people involved, but I just find it hard to enjoy a film with such a dark sense of humour when it's not making me laugh out loud.

I didn't have a problem with how it was shot. It looked good and the acting was decent, I just thought that, for me, the subject matter was too offensive and the jokes weren't funny enough to compensate for this.

Just my thoughts- it's up to you what you choose to take onboard or not. Obviously everyone loves praise but you'll learn more from criticism. I don't think this is a bad film, I just think you need to work on evening out the comic tone.
 
Zensteve said:
Is there a link to the original PSA you are parodying?
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I'm not sure if there was one done like this. We didn't watch something and get the idea, we were talking about a friend who had passed away because of DD, and got the idea.

And the very IDEA was the camera cutting between multiple people conveying the same message, which I noticed Kari's comment basically described what was good about it, but saying that that was the problem. I understand I can't please everybody, but "Saying the same thing?" Really? They each had their own lines, emotions, and stories. sure, there was a THEME,

but like I said you can't please everybody, particularly with comedy... that's why I post here, because these forum members actually analyze it, and I can decide which comments I find helpful
 
We performed it live, and most people seemed to love it, though they agreed the first two characters telling their stories were the weakest parts.

So I think we'll fine tune it and write an actual script before we do it live again
 
I thought it was kind of funny, but I'm a sick twisted bastard. If you do something like this in the future, I would recommend telling your friends to try and one up each others stories until you end up with something really out there, like the wife with a penis or the drunk conductor and drunk pilot hitting the ambulance. Those two parts were great.
 
mussonman said:
But I've heard good feedback everywhere but here
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Then it seems we are all wrong and you have done exactly
the right thing. It seems as if you aren't too interested in
hearing anything but good feedback. So I can only wish
you the best in your future films - you must be doing the
right thing. sorry to have wasted your time offering you my
feedback. I won't do it again.
 
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