I need good idea or script

[Tomislav]

OK, I know it's dumb thread. I'm member of amateur film making group here in Croatia.

Right now I'm searching for some good idea for film. We have done around 30 short movies. Some of them are documentaries, fiction movies, music videos etc. Almost every our film was awarded on our national festivals. Some of them have international awards. We are all <20 years old.

If someone has good idea for film, script or something that will help me start new project - PM me. Script or idea will be credited if used. I don't like weapons, fiction or some BIG stuff. We make films about ordinary people that do some unusual stuff, or are in some difficult situation. People that make a lot out of nothing.

All of our films are no-budget. People in USA think that you need a lot of money to produce film. We prove that it's not such a big deal. If someone is interested in our films, PM me. Technically they are not perfect, we recorded last two using Canon XH-A1 and XL1-S...

I would like to do directing and editing/sound post production. Film should be done in Croatia, language: Croatian. But it is OK if you have script in English.

Thank you all in advance! I think people should stop searching for BIG producers right away. Start small.

I'm sorry for my bad English

 

[SoulCinema]

How long of a film (minutes?) are you wanting to make? Short film or Feature length?

Because I have a backlog of several comix that could be turned into short films, 10 minutes long or so. We'll never get to them, wouldn't just hand them out for free in the USA ... but hell, I'd see how they play in Croatia!

Plus, I'm writing a spec where I could use someone's information about daily life in Croatia!
I might need some phrases in Croatian ("Get out of the car! Put your hands up!" etc)

Anyway, if you want to discuss things more, give some more details in an open forum ... that might help people's confidence here (I dunno, I'm new here myself)

Do you have any of your films on YouTube that we could see, for instance?

 

[MacV]

There is an ordinary man named Matt. Matt is a scientist looking for signs of extraterrestrial life at the SETI program. Every day he pours over the numbers, sheets and sheets of numbers. He never finds anything. Matt likes science ok, but what he really wants to do is fight racism. But, alas, he pours over his papers everyday in search of something he will never find.

Lead researcher Dr. Jello is SETI's most talented intellectual and also in charge of the whole thing. Jello is absolutely sure that they will find alien intelligence through sheer passion and love for science. But he has a secret... he is also a racist.

Matt discovers this racism one day when he runs across a racist troll named Racist Jello on the internet. He mentions having racist thoughts towards the cute Moroccan techie at his lab. Matt is shocked, the Moroccan is very competent at her job and she likes giving naughty looks at Matt.

Is it really true? Is Dr. Jello really Racist Jello? Matt must think of a way to test his theories. He rushes through the sheets for the day. Matt rushes out of the office and catches the Moroccan as she's leaving for the day. Matt shares with the Moroccan his concerns about Dr. Jello's racism. She agrees that this is bad news. She doesn't give any flirty glances this time. They conclude there is only one way to really affirm their suspicions.

The next day, the Moroccan enters Dr. Jello's lab to fix a machine. She chit chats with Jello... and no racism. She then begins fixing the machine, only to further break it more. Dr. Jello begins to crack, but he holds his pleasant, non-racist demeanor. She starts to mention her homeland, when all of a sudden, a machine starts bleeping a signal. THE ALIENS HAVE MADE CONTACT! Holy crap. Dr. Jello discover's the signal to be some kind of code. The Moroccan is genuinely excited and goes to hug Dr. Jello. As soon as she touches him, Dr. Jello fights back in disgust. He calls her a filthy Moroccan and to get away. Now, he has to take a shower before he can continue cracking the code, he says.

Matt hears all of this on the recording device the Moroccan hid in her lab coat. This seals the deal, Dr. Jello is racist. Our worst fear has just been realized. But Dr. Jello just discovered a extraterrestrial signal! Matt is in turmoil. Dr. Jello is a powerful man and vital to SETI. Surely, the only man who could even crack the code would be Jello. But he is a racist. If Matt is ever going to fight racism, now is the time to start.

Matt barges in on Dr. Jello's lab. Dr. Jello is fresh out of the shower, ready to work on cracking the code. Dr. Jello warmly invites Matt to help him crack the code. Will Matt give over to his scientific tendencies, or will he denounce Dr. Jello's racism? Will the SETI project continue? What do the aliens think of racism? Does Dr. Jello's racism count towards aliens as well??

You decide the end.

 

[VPTurner]

Contact meets Crash.

 

[MacV]

This treatment could be turned into Croatian gold with the right kind of talent.

 

[SoulCinema]

Actually, with a few tweeks, that could be an amazing Sci-Fi story! Do we LET a "racist" become the first human to contact an alien race?

Does a SETI scientist SABOTAGE Mankind's first possible encounter ... to PROTECT Mankind from the damage a single bad Man might do?

I'm telling you ... you just gave a Cannes sleeper hit away, comrade.

And ... I keep hearing Europeans say that Croatian women are the most beautiful women IN THE WORLD.

Do we dare tell the Aliens THAT?!

*********

How long of a film (minutes?) are you wanting to make? Short film or Feature length?

 

[Magnum]

Wow, what a silly idea. A guy who works in SETI program but he is not really concerned about finding aliens, instead he wants to fight racism. Dr. Jello is racist toward Moroccan woman although Moroccan are different nationality and not different race.

Will the SETI project continue?

Why should it stop? Even if Jello is fired or something, somebody else will take his job.

What do the aliens think of racism? Does Dr. Jello's racism count towards aliens as well??

That would probably be called xenophobia. Aliens are not different race they are different species.

And ... I keep hearing Europeans say that Croatian women are the most beautiful women IN THE WORLD.

No.

Film should be done in Croatia, language: Croatian. But it is OK if you have script in English.

It would be little weird to see scientist from all over the world who work at SETI to speak Croatian.

 

[MacV]

Wow, what a silly idea. A guy who works in SETI program but he is not really concerned about finding aliens, instead he wants to fight racism. Dr. Jello is racist toward Moroccan woman although Moroccan are different nationality and not different race.

Dr. Jello is a very bad racist. He can't see nationalities, only brown people.

Why should it stop? Even if Jello is fired or something, somebody else will take his job.

Jello is one of a kind. A goddamn brilliant scientist and mathematician. He once beat Steven Hawking at a chess match. His ability to inspire his fellow colleagues, to bridge gaps, and bring people together is legendary. His name attached to the SETI project alone brings in 75 percent of the funding. If he were to leave, SETI would suffer a fatal blow.

That would probably be called xenophobia. Aliens are not different race they are different species.

It's all bigotry. Unfair rotten bigotry. You just gave it a different label.

It would be little weird to see scientist from all over the world who work at SETI to speak Croatian.

No more weird than it is watching an American movie where everybody speaks english regardless of their nationality. If Croatians make it, they have a right to make everybody speak Croatian.


Tomislav, this story is begging to be told. Magnum has it wrong, he's looking for all the things wrong with the concept. But you have the power to focus on all the kickass parts and then change the parts that don't work. Dude, I really really want to forget about this concept, then come onto the message boards months later with this film being showcased in Croatian.

 

[AgentJonnyB]

That is one crazy idea--I like it! I have suggested this idea at my college film club, no one's done it yet, but I'm sure we might do it later this spring, but if you like it, go for it!

I have an idea of something simple, not so dialogue intensive, but could definitely be crazy:
In a dorm, Guy1 is sitting at his desk infront of the window, doing hw, gets really bored and gazes out the window and sees a really beautiful girl on the bench outside in the courtyard between the dorm buildings. He goes crazy an races to the bathroom to fix his hair, spray on the axe, but his roommate, Guy2 notices and checks outside the window and sees why his roommate has just gone so crazy, and he does too. They desperately race each other down to the main floor to get out, doing whatever they can think of to slow one another down (tripping each other, throwing things at each other, etc.), and they collide just as they both get out the main exit at the same time, falling right over face first into the ground, they look up to where the girl was, and she's gone. They begin to limp back to their dorm, one smacks the other upside the head.



MacV, if you're interested, I would love to work with you on a few comical secret agent video ideas, I've worked on a script for it for over 2 years now, but it go too big and I've sorta started over, but am keeping a lot of the same characters and concepts such as the silly agents (Get Smart was actually kind of similar in giving the agents a 3 stooges - like thing going on, picking on each other) as well as a group of evil Canadians that want to take over the U.S.

I'm not going to any further detail right now, but PM me if interested, I really need some help with it, I'm actually trying an approach at keeping it smaller, and more like what could be a mini web show with 10-20min episodes.

In fact, if anyone is interested, go right ahead and PM me about it!

 

[Magnum]

Tomislav, this story is begging to be told. Magnum has it wrong, he's looking for all the things wrong with the concept. But you have the power to focus on all the kickass parts and then change the parts that don't work.

Yeah, because it's better to hear what most likely won't work now, then make a movie which people won't care about. Therefore:

Jello is one of a kind. A goddamn brilliant scientist and mathematician. He once beat Steven Hawking at a chess match. His ability to inspire his fellow colleagues, to bridge gaps, and bring people together is legendary. His name attached to the SETI project alone brings in 75 percent of the funding. If he were to leave, SETI would suffer a fatal blow.

Then how can he be racist? One would assume that a person with really high IQ and extraordinary management skills is tolerant toward other people. The whole concept is ridiculous. But maybe it could pass, if it weren't for this:

If he were to leave, SETI would suffer a fatal blow

Okay, since he is so brilliant if he left the whole program would close. Then what about the claim:

Do we LET a "racist" become the first human to contact an alien race?

If he is so brilliant, and he discovered and almost cracked the code, they would surely let him contact the aliens even though he is racist. If someone holds that kind of reputation and ability, it's highly unlikely that they would fire him simply because one woman claims that he is racist. Again, it's ridiculous.

No more weird than it is watching an American movie where everybody speaks english regardless of their nationality. If Croatians make it, they have a right to make everybody speak Croatian.

English is world language and is therefore spoken in international institutions. So it's weird not to use it in such conditions.

Overall, it seems you guys have some ideas, but writing a script(especially for a feature length movie) is much harder than having an idea. The things I noted are just some of the things most of the audience would ridicule. Scripts need causal connections.

I have also made my own version of the script, how would I do it: Dr. Jello cracks the code and contacts the aliens. He convinces them that the white people are the rightful owners of planet Earth and that black and Asian people need to be eliminated. The aliens believe him and start using their technology to wipe them out (like firing a bigass photon torpedo at Africa or something). After some time, all the nations of the world unite to fight back the aliens and they destroyed most of their fleet, most likely by exploiting some fatal and absurd weakness. But Dr. Jello is still alive and he used alien technology to empower himself through bio-implants and advanced weaponry so he still continues to kill everyone who is not white. At the end, the main hero (Matt or however ) manages to kill him and save the world. Two possible endings:
1. everything is ok and they lived in peace and harmony witch each other and aliens
2. the alien arrival and attack was in fact a ruse by secret society to "unite" the people of the world so they can more easily control them and impose one world government(possible sequel)

That's how I would do it.

 

[llamaranger]

2. the alien arrival and attack was in fact a ruse by secret society to "unite" the people of the world so they can more easily control them and impose one world government(possible sequel)

*cough*watchmen*cough.

I'd stick with option 1 if it were me.. people love happy endings

Edd

 

[MacV]

I have also made my own version of the script, how would I do it: Dr. Jello cracks the code and contacts the aliens. He convinces them that the white people are the rightful owners of planet Earth and that black and Asian people need to be eliminated. The aliens believe him and start using their technology to wipe them out (like firing a bigass photon torpedo at Africa or something). After some time, all the nations of the world unite to fight back the aliens and they destroyed most of their fleet, most likely by exploiting some fatal and absurd weakness. But Dr. Jello is still alive and he used alien technology to empower himself through bio-implants and advanced weaponry so he still continues to kill everyone who is not white. At the end, the main hero (Matt or however ) manages to kill him and save the world. Two possible endings:
1. everything is ok and they lived in peace and harmony witch each other and aliens
2. the alien arrival and attack was in fact a ruse by secret society to "unite" the people of the world so they can more easily control them and impose one world government(possible sequel)

That's how I would do it.

That's an awesome idea for a rewrite, assuming you have the budget for such an epic battle and I'm guessing you want a feature length? My treatment is meant for a ten minute movie tops. Dude, I think the hero has to win not just by killing Jello, but by explaining to the aliens why Jello's racist ideology is wrong. I mean, all the aliens know is that brown people need to be killed. Somebody has to explain to the them why diversity is an asset.

Anyways, you are still going about this concept the wrong way. When you say

The whole concept is ridiculous.

you clearly understand the underlying absurdity of the plot, but you think that this is why no one would want to see it. That is, if it was a straight-faced drama.

It's a comedy.

Of course, it's absurd that the brilliant top researcher of SETI with great team skills is secretly racist. That's is why it would be hilarious to see this guy crack and revert to racism. One of the most basic and effective comic techniques is contradicting expectations. On a side note, this story is a huge setup for some politically incorrect racist jokes. Has anybody ever seen a scene where somebody is literally trying to get somebody to be racist to them?

I agree that pointing out the wrong parts is important in the scriptwriting process. There are some aspects to a script that can be concretely pinpointed as "wrong". For example, problems with narrative structure is easy as hell to point out. But what you are pointing out is wrong is subjective; what you pointed out is wrong only in the narrow vision of how you assumed the film should be played out. And you know what, it is the wrong script for that. If this was a dramatic script, this would be a failure. This is not Crash.

But I mean, that would be like saying South Park's plot points aren't realistic and therefore nobody would want to see it. Obviously, that way to judge a story is wrong, because South Park is massively successful. So, I conclude, you are still going about this all wrong, and Tomislav should still write this script and make this movie.

 

[VPTurner]

And therein lies the challenge with writing comedy. Simply saying something is funny does not make it so.

When pitching a story you should mention the genre, i.e. "It's a comedy about an ordinary guy named Matt..."

You really had me worried until you mentioned, "It's a comedy."

Now end it with both Jello and Matt getting bitch slapped by purple aliens because the only true color is purple, and then it starts to sound more like a comedy.

Or have them argue about the origins of man and that man was created by a bunch of drunk aliens who flew down and gang banged a group of pre-historic primates, and now the aliens have come for them to further spread their seed. Gives Jello fresh out of the shower and Matt's warming up to him a whole new dynamic after the aliens transmogrify them into hermaphrodites. Then it starts to sound like an episode of South Park.

 

[SoulCinema]

And ... I keep hearing Europeans say that Croatian women are the most beautiful women IN THE WORLD.

No.

Good lord, man! But ... YOU LIVE in Croatia!

Trust me, things will go much better for you if you simply AGREE that 'Croatian women are the most beautiful women in the world' !!!

Especially if it's a Croatian woman asking you about it!

* * * * *

Wait ... Maybe they said CROATOAN women were beautiful ...

 

[Magnum]

It's a comedy.

I though it was a drama. Seriously. Well, if it's meant as a comedy , some things make more sense. However, I still stand behind my opinion--it's a ok idea but still needs more work.

Especially if it's a Croatian woman asking you about it!

Of course I will say they are beautiful it they ask me, lying to women is basis for any relationship. But a lie is still a lie.

 

[MacV]

It does need more work. The more I think about the idea, the more I like it. I'm writing a script up right now, and will be posting it.

 

[Spatula]

VPTurner pointed me here.. I've reviewed the Crash / Contact comedy idea, and I think it would be good to look at it from another perspective..

What if.... aliens finally decide to reveal themselves to the people of the Earth, but when they arrive, it turns out THEY are the racists!

150,000 years ago, aliens (the caretakers of the universe type) came back to Earth and genetically modified apes to evolve so they could save their own unraveling DNA by retracing their own evolution... thus, 50,000 years ago in Africa, the first true Humans were born... black. White people came about when people moved north and started living indoors, away from the natural world that was meant to be their home.

So when Obama is elected to the US Presidency, the Aliens see it as a signal to come back and begin integrating with their highly advanced creation...

At SETI, the former (secret) white supremacist Dr. Jello and his Latino lab assistant Dr. Pablo get a signal from the aliens, they contact the government, make it a big deal, it's in the news and whatnot- your standard mix of tension and comedy... fast forward to when the aliens arrive. Let's say they send emissaries all over the place, so one alien ends up with the two scientists to teach them stuff... but, the aliens have a particular culture, you see; the darker and richer the shade of gray, the higher you get in the alien leadership. The lighter tones are regarded as worker bees and the rare albino alien regarded as mere court jesters, or as an Earth analogy would serve, beggars and bums.

So this really dark alien visits the scientists and would be looking down on them like underlings... but regards the Latino lab assistant as a higher rank than Dr. Jello, of course driving the racist head scientist crazy. There's something suspicious about the dark aliens... but is is Dr. Jello's racism rearing it's head or is there more to it?

Then, one night, an albino alien sneaks into Dr. Jello's bedroom. This alien is an outcast from his society- a pure white being, regarded on the lowest order. His name is Pupil, because the only dark thing on his whole body are his pupils. His tale of racism among the aliens touches a chord with the racist doctor... and suddenly he realizes two very important things: the dark aliens are plotting to "purify" their created race (kill the whities and enslave the rest), and that the only way humanity would be able to survive would be to figure out a way to put and end racism among humans and aliens alike.... I could see this being very 80's Public Service Announcement in nature, LOL. Maybe the SETI Doctors have to go on a quest to find some old public figures in the anti-racism campaigns.. suddenly the word gets out and white people start trying to disguise themselves as black people, smearing paint on their faces and talking like Jamaicans- I know it sounds brutally risque, but if it's done as satirically as possible I think it'd be funny... a black character, just a normal Joe-kinda guy, goes out to do his grocery shopping and there's some 60 year old Jewish woman in blackface who looks at him and says "Yo"... and then he turns to see an Asian clerk doing the same thing... WTF!? = LOL

So that sets up a situation where an albino alien and a secret white-supremacist scientist must gather others (Latino assistant, Chang- the Chinese IT guy, and other stereotypical archetypes that you can break later on as the main character's views evolve) on a crusade against racism to stop the aliens from wiping out huge portions of humanity.

The dark aliens put mind control on Obama and suddenly the world becomes amazingly racist... the SETI doctors must race to set up a broadcast.. and it's totally got to end with a big emotional, heartfelt, morality (but hilarious, think Team America "Pussies, Dicks and Assholes") televised speech where Dr. Jello confesses and denounces his racism to the leader of the aliens and Obama in the moon-base on the eve of the purification, then Obama gives Dr. Jello props and knocks out the alien leader, declaring everybody in the universe equal from thenceforth.

Everyone sees it on the TV and suddenly everyone starts being kind to each other again and there's utopia and dogs and cats suddenly can talk.

Yeah. Uh... well, it's got some pizazz.

What u think of this direction?

EDIT: BTW, the moral point of it all is to essentially show that in an alien culture that is superior, racism developed as well, only the opposite of how it evolved on Earth... so racism is a CULTURAL thing, and not a "natural" standard... and since it is relative to culture and culture can evolve, racism can be gotten rid of. So you could have the whole "genetic evolution" as a theme in the backstory of aliens and humans and then - evolve- the plot into one of "cultural evolution"- where BOTH aliens and humans are taughten to seeith the light.

 

[SoulCinema]

Submitted for your consideration (as Rod Serling would say):

Obama is soon to be President.

Racism is done ... if not dead in the hearts and minds of racists everywhere (of which they be many) ... but done and passe as a TOPIC for a movie.

Not done as an real ISSUE ... but done as a saleable topic for a movie.

Simply something that your ticket-buying audience WANTS to be past, and so won't buy tickets. 'For the want of an interest, the buzz was lost ... for want of the buzz the ticket sale was lost ... for want of a ticket sale the profit was lost ... for want of a profit the greenlight was lost ... for want of a greenlight ... etc.'

Going out on a limb, I'd even suggest that a COMEDY about racism would be more threatened by that than a serious social drama (CRASH)

 

[VPTurner]

If you think that racism is done merely because a half white, half American of African decent has achieved the office of the presidency of the United States, you are gravely mistaken. It is narrow minded to believe that racism is merely a black/white thing. Hitler and the Jews were not black. The Pharaohs and the Jews were not black. The Isrealites and the Hamas are not black. Do you honestly believe that the enslavement of Africans was an isolated incident in world history? And that this was solely perpetrated by whites? Did you not know that whites were also indentured servants to blacks? That black slaves were owned by blacks? If not for the South kidnapping and forcing into slavery free blacks of the North, would the civil war have even taken place? Didn't the Mayans hunt down and sacrifice people by the thousands?

And what of the native Americans who were overrun by colonization of this land?

And are Mexican immigrants the new "slaves" to American society?

Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. And comedy is a vehicle for teaching.

 

[SoulCinema]

If you think that racism is done merely because a half white, half American of African decent has achieved the office of the presidency of the United States, you are gravely mistaken. It is narrow minded to believe that racism is merely a black/white thing. Hitler and the Jews were not black. The Pharaohs and the Jews were not black. The Isrealites and the Hamas are not black. Do you honestly believe that the enslavement of Africans was an isolated incident in world history? And that this was solely perpetrated by whites? Did you not know that whites were also indentured servants to blacks? That black slaves were owned by blacks? If not for the South kidnapping and forcing into slavery free blacks of the North, would the civil war have even taken place? Didn't the Mayans hunt down and sacrifice people by the thousands?

And what of the native Americans who were overrun by colonization of this land?

And are Mexican immigrants the new "slaves" to American society?

Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it. And comedy is a vehicle for teaching.

Ahem ... okay ... just to repeat what I had already written above:

Submitted for your consideration ...

and

Not done as an real ISSUE ... but done as a saleable topic for a movie.

Thanks for considering. But my offering ideas up for consideration and discussion by others here ... doesn't necessarily mean I personally (ad hominem slags aside) am unaware of other possibilities!

Yeah, though, I'm thinking that even Candidate Obama (and now, hurray & cheers, PRESIDENT Obama) spoke of wanting a POST-RACIAL America.

As a movie topic, RACISM may be something the mass audience is less inclined to buy entertainment tickets to go see.

Just MY opinion, not my 'narrow-mindedness' just my interpretation of the zeitgeist.

As for COMEDY being 'a vehicle for teaching' ... (again, just imo) ... I wonder how many folks go to Comedies to be TAUGHT.

I go to Documentaries for that ...

Maybe that's why I get tossed out of so many documentaries for laughing too loudly!