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How to intercut (is that even a word?)

W

wheatgrinder

Is this intercutting correct?.. Im not sure how you mix scenes like this.. (as seen in my movie here.. )

http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?t=25398

If you haven't watched it yet, don't.. read my script snippet first please.. either way,let me know if thats how you would have interpreted it



INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

PAUL(age 8) plays a video game near a large double hung window. The curtains are open.

INTERCUT - SNIPER ROOST - DAY

JAMIE (age 12) places her ruck sack on the shooting pad

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY (CONT)

Paul concentrates on the video game.

INTERCUT - SNIPER ROOST - DAY (CONT)

Jamie aligns the sniper rifle on the ruck sack and takes a prone position.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY (CONT)

The phone rings, Paul picks up the cell and places it to his ear.

CONTROL AUTOMATION (phone O.S.)

(some compute tones) Key in Please

INTERCUT - SNIPER POV - DAY

The cross hairs meander and align on the blurred head of Paul, seated near the window.

Paul (o.s.)

Six Bravo Nine Nine The Chair Is against the wall.

CONTROL AUTOMATION (PHONE O.S.)

Six Bravo Nine Nine Key Acknowledged .... Stand by

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY (CONT)

Paul stands, he senses something wrong. He runs and vaults the sofa as the window explodes in a shower of glass.

EXT. PORCH STEPS - DAY

With his MP5 in hand, Paul rounds the landing and hustles down the steps. He rounds the corner taking shelter behind the freshly stacked firewood on the deck.



.....
 
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You can do it a few ways, but generally once you indicate it's intercut (and describe the initial surroundings and characters in that intercut's actionline, then you can forego the additional slugline like indications of it and just tell us the action.

(In your case between Paul and Jamie, once we know you are intercutting between the Sniper Roost and the Living Room, just use Paul does this, Jamie does that and we will know it's jumping between the two locations.)

Just don't confuse us if the time changes. If the time changes, then new slugs, and new intercut.

I have seen it most commonly done after and between like you are doing:


INT. HOUSE – DAY


Action line


INTERCUT WITH:


EXT. HOUSE - DAY


Action line


And I have seen it in the 1st slug:


INT. HOUSE – DAY / INTERCUT/ EXT. HOUSE – DAY

Action line.


But this way is more like if those locations and the characters known to inhabit them are already established, or given circumstances have already been set up.


-Thanks-
 
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I would simply loose "INTERCUT". It seems redundant
to me. As a reader I understand that each new slug
line is a cut. I don't need to be told. But I do understand
that people who do not read a lot (and I really mean a
LOT) of screenplay get the feeling the too many slug
lines are distracting. They aren't. So how about:


INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

PAUL(age 8) plays a video game near a large double hung window. The curtains are open.

INT. SNIPER ROOST - DAY

JAMIE (age 12) places her ruck sack on the shooting pad

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Paul concentrates on the video game.

INT. SNIPER ROOST - DAY

Jamie aligns the sniper rifle on the ruck sack and takes a prone position.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

The phone rings, Paul picks up the cell and places it to his ear.

CONTROL AUTOMATION
Key in Please

INT. SNIPER POV - DAY

The cross hairs meander and align on the blurred head of Paul, seated near the window.

PAUL
Six Bravo Nine Nine The Chair Is against the wall.

CONTROL AUTOMATION
Six Bravo Nine Nine Key Acknowledged .... Stand by

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Paul stands, he senses something wrong. He runs and vaults the sofa as the window explodes in a shower of glass.

EXT. PORCH STEPS - DAY

With his MP5 in hand, Paul rounds the landing and hustles down the steps. He rounds the corner taking shelter behind the freshly stacked firewood on the deck.
 
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As I understand the INTERCUT, it's used only ONCE as a HEADING for a series of quick-cut scenes, once the two locations have been established.

So, for example:



INTERCUT - PAUL'S LIVING ROOM/JAMIE'S SNIPER ROOST


PAUL(age 8) plays a video game near a large double hung window. The curtains are open.


JAMIE (age 12) places her ruck sack on the shooting pad


Paul concentrates on the video game.


Jamie aligns the sniper rifle on the ruck sack and takes a prone position.


The phone rings, Paul picks up the cell and places it to his ear.

Etc., etc.




It allows you to read the action without ANY distracting slugs, because you already know where you're cutting to and from. You may, however, want (or have) to use a scene heading for each cut if it's important to establish various elements within each scene or if a third or fourth "CUT TO" location is necessary. You gain readability at the expense of controlling the camera a bit. INTERCUTS are good with telephone conversations, for example. It's just another screenwriting tool to use when appropriate.

I personally don't think it's appropriate here, because you've got elements in play other than JUST action or JUST dialogue. The telephone conversation, and the change in POV, for example, complicate things and make clarity more important than easy readability. Directorik's suggestion is probably best in this circumstance.

Cheers!

-Charles
 
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I've always just tried to keep those kinds of scenes short because I was never sure if all the slug lines got on a reader's nerves. I'm glad to hear that it doesn't. I always did it with just the one combined slugline, and then kept the separated characters' actions apart.
 
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Slug lines are an essential element. Readers
are quite accustom to seeing them in a script.
In general most of us simply "skip" over them
while reading. They become almost invisible as
we read.
 
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It's true that slug lines are essential for the most part.

When you're writing a feature script, however, space for all your splendid dialogue and all those "must have" cool scenes in your head comes at a premium. Anything that saves room and that you can do to keep it under the dreaded 120-page limit, I'm all for.
 
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Adeimantus said:
Anything that saves room and that you can do to keep it under the dreaded 120-page limit, I'm all for.
Click to expand...
I understand. In my experience, the problem with scripts that
exceed 120 pages isn't too many sluglines. But I do get where
you're coming from. Sometimes removing too many can reduce
the page count. As a freelance reader I've found that a writer
with a long script could make it better by reducing some of those
"must have" cool scenes rather than reducing the use of sluglines.
 
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