First off, nice job! You had a good timing with who to cut to etc.
A little critique (full disclosure, I watched MOS due to audio restrictions at my workplace, but since you were just asking about the editing, I'm commenting anyway
):
I had a hard time orienting myself when they are all sitting around at the beginning. Where is the line? I couldn't tell if you crossed it or not simply because I had no idea where it was. A master shot of everyone in the room would help the initial orientation a lot. (It's the old-fashioned way of editing, but it holds true because it works).
Your editing could benefit a lot, I think, from some good blocking on set. By that I mean, for example, there are points where a character says something and looks to one direction, while the camera then changes to the character on the
other side, who says his line. It's a bit jarring, so next time I would suggest have your director block the actors in a way that will add to the smoothness of the edit.
At around 1:42 there is a jump cut. First the dude with the hat is staying still, posed in front of the couch, then you cut back to the green shirt guy, then you cut back and somehow the dude with the hat is back to his exact place on the couch. It's not a big thing, but it takes a person out of the film. My suggestion is to block the actor so that he is seen moving a bit back to the left at the end of the 'group' shot, and then we see him in the process of sitting down when you cut back (that's only one way of doing it, you have endless choices).
Same thing with him all of a sudden sitting on the counter-top (I'm thinking that was intentional though).
I liked the fast cuts with the head whipping around to see the guy leave/disappear. Unfortunately, since the shots have broken the 180 rule, there is a jarring shot in there, when the guy in the green whips his head left, after everyone else looked right. Get him behind the line so his head can turn the right way, and the cut will be smoother.
I would recommend your director and DP watch the Hollywood Camera Works DVDs (expensive but worth every penny). And for editing, I've gotten a lot of insight just reading about the old silent film cutters, making it up as they go, figuring out what worked. Also, if you haven't seen The Cutting Edge, it's one of the best docus about filmmaking there is.
I hope you don't take my critique as a bashing or anything, just trying to give some constructive criticism. Take it easy and keep sharing your journey with us!
