Merry Christmas!
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, and with all due respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great.
This is not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or the only America in the Western Hemisphere. And it is issued without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preferences of the wishee.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is not subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law.
This greeting is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. Furthermore, it is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first.
This warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.