pre-pro Grayland:A story that I plan to turn into a film.

Hi. My name is Alex Shurts. Back in 2009, inspired by a video game called Deus Ex which was about a world controlling shadow government, I myself began working on Grayland, which is a post apocalyptic science fiction story that takes place across the entire universe. Originally the basic concept of the story was going to take place on earth alone, but as i've expanded my story since then I myself have also expanded the basic concept of the story into what I plan to be a film trilogy. The story concept is very complex and I won't be able to fit all of the subject matters the story covers here without posting all the content i've made so far.


Much of the following is an introductory to the concept document for my story.
Two things I want to clarify before I begin. First off, the expansive nature of the story. I have spent quite a few years working on this story and as a result have made numerous changes. It gets to the point where I can't police every detail that I was supposed to either change, but didn't or a plot element or theme that needs to be removed because i've thought differently from it by now. Second of all the tone. The tone of this concept document is completely different than the script. Mainly because it detailed the societal changes Japan goes through before becoming a crime capital in the world. The plot point of foreign gangs migrating to Japan to exploit it's violent crime rate isn't intended to proke racist thought. In fact quite a few protagonistic characters in the character documents are foreigners. One of the protagonists is a Muslim from Somolia. In fact, part of me thinks that the plot proves that multiculturalism is inevitable since it involves teleportation being used to for immigration. It is more or less a critique of many aspects of globalism, and states numerous alternatives for globalism due to technological advancements and security loopholes.

The question the story brings is how, society is to grasp this and the responsibilities a free society has when technology becomes too advanced, yet while civilizations across the world are in decline. Still, I am not a professional as anything could happen as I research further into Grayland's story.

I got inspiration for this story from the movies the Warriors, the Dark Knight, The Matrix 1 and 2(third one was aweful), Team America World Police, 1984(the novel, and no. I do not expect to become the next George Orwell. Please don't make comparisons), Bioshock:Infinite, Metropolis(the anime film), the Marathon franchise(videogame franchise), and Starwars a new Hope. I was originally hoping to pitch this to David Sandberg or Goro Taniguchi, but considering that film school is a must for anyone who wants their film to be made, I think that would be the best place to start.

The concept of the film involving a shadow government came from Deus Ex, while the plot point about Japanese becoming one of the most dangerous countries in the world in the future, decades from now was inspired by the Warriors. The 1979 Warriors film inspired that strange concept(as in LSD strange) of foreign gangs from around the world flocking to Japan after it accepts 120 million foreigners(a spiritual pipe dream for human rights groups in the country since right now Japanese society is rather hesitant about massive open doors).

Sidenote:The main purpose of this plot point is to make the concept of the story where foreign gangs from around the world(this document is just the background story of the film) travel to Japan on D-Company's behalf, seem plausible. Like I said, i'm not trying to make a statement against immigration.



The Dark Knight series, by Christopher Nolan provided most of the inspiration for the villain, Robin Lench. The head of D-Company whose goal is to, not only turn Japan into one of the most dangerous countries on earth, but hijack the economy. Originally Grayland was exclusively about Nippon Kaigi as the antagonistic organization, but I got so obsessed with the concept of foreign gangs that I added D-Company since the foreign criminal gangs felt tacked on without them. After adding D-Company, the was going to involve a war between Nippon Kaigi and D-Company with PSYSOC(the protagonist organization), but I had trouble writing the script that way.

The Matrix inspired the action scenes which are mostly done via gun-fu, however aside from the fact that the action scenes in Grayland are most gruesome, one of the most unique aspects of the action scenes come from, not only the weapons enemies would use, but the enemies themselves. Each gang in the film has their own types of weapons, gadgets, and abilities that seperate them from one another, much like the various weapons, enemies, and vehicles from Starwars, though if you look at the script, you'll see that Graylands enemies are much weirder and wonderfully strange, where the Matrix, once you look past how well done most of the action scenes are, the weapons are nothing speical from every other action movie you've scene. The action scenes were further inspired by District B13, via parkour.

Sidenote:One of my inspirations for writing Grayland was my overall disappointment with the Matrix series despite the fact that I liked the first two films. I just thought that the series was nowhere near as good as it could have been. So I figured i'd write a story that would succeed where the Matrix has failed.

Team America World Police inspired the satirization of PSYSOC attacking both far-left and far-right groups(which in the movie are really life organizations since real life referances add more depth) in the background story to the plot.

The inspiration from the novel, 1984 by George Orwell can be rather misleading. What I wanted to do with Grayland's philosophy was create a system of beliefs, except the opposite of what George Orwell was warning about. Instead of mental conditioning being used to create tyranny, I thought that augmentations and mental training could be used to replace government so long as there are safe guards are put in place to prevent abuse. The philosophical inspiration is going to be one of the more controversial aspects of the story since 1984 and the message it carried as about society avoiding from the type of government depicted in the book. That being try not to be offended.


Bioshock Infinite inspired PSYSOC prophet and leader Saga, a genetically and cybernetically modified Nordic alien child with boundless wisdom and infinite knowledge due to her brain implants. The art style of the film that uses cel-shading, rotoscoping, practical effects(instead of explosions being CGI'd most will be practical for the sake of more detail), and blending CGI facial features that, in turn give the characters anime style facial features with live action actors was inspired by the 2001 anime movie, Metropolis, which is loosely based on the 1927 silent film of the same name.

One idea I have if this is ever greenlit is for this to be the first theatrical movie to be shown in virtual reality.

The space opera themes of the story, involving various alien races came from Bungies Marathon franchise which also inspired Saga, one of the characters(thanks to one of the AL characters Durandal).

Finally the set design concepts were largely inspired by Starwars a New Hope, which also inspired the technological advances humanity makes when coming into contact with aliens.

One of the main moral themes of the movie is the upcoming technological singularity due to the advancement of technology. A future in which in order for freedom to continue to exist humanity must eventually replace all forms of government with an organized society that functions via brain implants, thus destroying the need to rebel as society runs itself. Free from interference with no need to rebel due to the freedom from chaos and freedom from government.

Cut to 8:03

Remember, this document is just a basic concept. In order to really grasp the potential I feel the story has, you'll likely need to read the character documents and script.


One more thing. Grayland has a lot of cultural references to pop culture and while some movie studios may say that comes with the risk of copyright infringement, not only has there been popular media that references numerous other forms of pop culture without risk of copyright, part of Graylands charm are the pop culture references it has. Most notably, the fact that the plot involves the use of actual criminal gangs(without actual gang actors) as opposed made up ones. The idea of referencing real events, organizations, and pop culture icons is to add not only to the films charm, but also it's cultural impact, part of which would come from it's references to actual events and organizations. While this will increase controversy, it would do so in a way that effects it's cultural impact.


South Park even did an episode of Scientology, a cult that files lawsuits against those who bash it.

Grayland has a few characters based on real people, including the secret identity of the main villain of the first film.

One thing I would like to do, if Grayland ever gets accepted as an idea is contact Matt Stone and Trey Parker since their show South Park has more references than any other franchise i've known. If Grayland is accepted as an idea I would like to share what I am working on with Matt Stone and Trey Parker to get advice one how to keep the cultural and real life references in Grayland instead of making things up. Of course I would have to show them what I am working on. If they give me advice needed to maintain these references, in return I have a sidenote in the Grayland script about a concept for a South Park parody of Grayland. It's just a concept so far, but I think it could parody the Trapped in the Closet episode by joking about my beliefs in the Grayland philosophy(This is what the creator of Grayland actually believes in). Wouldn't hurt make fun of myself while watching it.


Sidenote:I don't intend to compare Grayland to South Park other than the constant pop culture and real life references. South Park is a comedy while Grayland is science fiction.

I firmly feel Graylands cultural impact would be stronger if the references are real. However, I seem to be being arrogant here. I am aware that while I believe that Grayland has a lot of potential, I won't instantly confirm that i'll be enough to get them to back me up. Even though Grayland of course has a unique anime style, I believe that given the references it may have to be developed in an american studio since copyright laws are tougher in Japan.


Sidenote:I don't know if there's a genre of story telling involving real world events, but still, I might as well make a name. The Fact-Fiction genre.

While references towards real life events and organizations does lead to massive amounts of controversy, it really can do wonders to help a franchise's cultural impact the same way it did with South Park. In fact the GTA series is also famous for it's controversy, despite not referencing real world events. Of course, controversies in movies and videogames have to make sense in order for their cultural impact to work. I did my best so that the references work in the film's favor. Not against it. In all fairness, the GTA games don't reference real life all that much, though I never understood why. I really think GTA would be stronger if it did.

Grayland's potental for controversy is less in line with South Park and Grand Theft Auto and more inline with Bioshock Infinite or the novel Starship Troopers due to it's philosphy. Like Bioshock Infinite, Grayland features a lot of references to real world events which I believe is going to help it's cultural impact, while causing some degree of controversy.
 
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onebaldman

Pro Member
indiePRO
IOTM Winner
That was a lot!

You seem really engaged in this, and that is really good. You have a passion for telling your tale.

.... But, I want to try and prepare you, give you a heads up so you don't waste time or money.

If you are going to film school, they aren't going to really help you with anything this massive. At film school, you work on films dealing mostly with social issues/politics/drama and shorts. Schools usually focus on realistic and short term films, that focus more on real world events or character dramas.

I haven't been to film school, but I've been heavily researching them.

But, having a script to share there would be good. Just make sure you go in with the right intentions. Schools will more than likely make you write a script based around a pre-decided subject. You senior thesis I think is when you are able to do your own thing.... But they are still based around purposely set limits.

All that said, still finish your feature spec script.

Seems interesting enough regardless. Good luck on your work! How many pages are you in so far?
 
That was a lot!

You seem really engaged in this, and that is really good. You have a passion for telling your tale.

.... But, I want to try and prepare you, give you a heads up so you don't waste time or money.

If you are going to film school, they aren't going to really help you with anything this massive. At film school, you work on films dealing mostly with social issues/politics/drama and shorts. Schools usually focus on realistic and short term films, that focus more on real world events or character dramas.

I haven't been to film school, but I've been heavily researching them.

But, having a script to share there would be good. Just make sure you go in with the right intentions. Schools will more than likely make you write a script based around a pre-decided subject. You senior thesis I think is when you are able to do your own thing.... But they are still based around purposely set limits.

All that said, still finish your feature spec script.

Seems interesting enough regardless. Good luck on your work! How many pages are you in so far?
Thanks. As for my script i've divided each section into a chapter(much like a story book. However I also how character bios and the main concept document which i've yet to upload yet.I will when I get the details on making sure that it's safe to upload withot it being stolen. I know that for some people this may come off as over protective and I don't mean to come off that way. I just want to avoid taking chances. He's a few more details from the concept document. Keep in mind it's rather long, but i'm just getting used to this websites interface and don't know how to put this in the "click to reveal option." At the moment i'm a bit pressed for time since I have an appointment.


Information about the films concepts:
The film has a very unique art style. It uses live action actors combined with cel shading like the Scanner Darkly movie(that's what gave me the inspiration for the art style), but this is quite different. The characters have more detail and are given a gritty anime look. The backgrounds are a mix 3D computer graphics and drawn anime backgrounds. Some special effects are done through various forms of CGI. Some are done through practical effects. Some are done through a mix of both. Because of the cartoony look of the films some characters will have their faces edited to fit with the art style(Rotoscoping will be common, but not always used on characters). For example some characters have their eyes large like real cartoon characters. What's so neat about this is that it allows the movie to switch tones and the feel of the film easier. Sometimes by changing the size, shape, look, and feel of a characters eyes mouth, etc. to match the feel of scene without the audience noticing the physical change. Live action films and cartoons always have different feel. Not just with the way things look, but also the way everything is. For example:Cartoons are weirder and less realistic. Graylands art style removes that barrier for the most part. Not only will I be able to make tone shifts easier, but the character design can very more since the art style mixes so many visuals together.

Least if the movie is directed with a psychological way in which there's proper presentation. Knowing the mind is essential for this. This art style could open up dozens of various other anime art styles. We all know how Toy Story's art style has been duplicated(even though Toy Story is for kids and Grayland isn't). Yup. Grayland is an anime movie(kinda). Also the tone of the environment in the films very to suit the tone and emotion of each scene, but in a subtle way. Fiery, dirty, futuristically shiny, colorful, trippy, dark, or even all of the above. All of the environments and lighting however will be given a neon effect to them(got the inspiration from the game Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon). Sometimes the amount of gore in the film adjusts to set the tone with some parts being extra violent, others, having less, and some with very little. Many set designs especially the action scenes involve large heights(the action scenes where inspired by Mirriors Edge which involves alot of heights). There also will be a variety of CGI effects to make full use of the art style. It should be noted that many times the film doesn't relay heavily on this to create emotion. This style of visuals however could redefine special effects. The art style for the game Storm Strikers sums up the neon art style for Grayland.

Another idea involves adding CRT scanlines to give the film's unique art style an 90's feel. Fight'n Rage is an example of this:

Another idea in addition to the CRT scanlines involves pixelization of the visuals. A nod to Prodeus.

In other news, if Grayland is made and comes to DVD, I do have a few ideas for special features. One involves Mirrior mode where the screen is flipped backwards to show the film and a different direction.

Another, seeing how Grayland will have a unique art style is the ability to customize the Cel Shading, contrast, and colors of the film to the viewer's liking.
Cut to 8:49 in this video:


The actions scenes involving Yosha and Jorgono are fast paced Gun Fu(a style of movie fight scenes involving guns. The Matrix didn't invent it). Unlike the Matrix which has a lot of slow mo, but tame Gun Fu Graylands action scenes are very fast, energetic, intense, and most importantly complex, but in a way which you can see what's going on(don't want the film ending up like Ultraviolet).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gun_fu

While the Matrix redefined Gun Fu Grayland will perfect it since the characters use a mix of bullet dodging(which is even more intense since the bullets are visible as they whiz by thus making action scenes easier to follow), free running, their physical surroundings, parkour, and magnetic boots and gloves(the magnetic boots and gloves where inspired by the game Bullet Storm) all blended together unlike the Matrix where the action scenes are simple. It appears that PSYSOC while using variety of combative techniques from using homemade tanks to jet packs selected Yosha and Jorgono seem to be augmented with genetically engineered parasites designed to enhance her abilities. Yosha and Jorgono are both augmented have their senses and psychological reaction improved to the point where her mind acts like a radar and they can detect bullets. There are two parasites that are temporarily planted in the body. One exercises all the muscles in the body in the same way exercising improves physical strength. The other exercises the brain in various ways by controlling it slowly improving and evolving it. There are limitations toward how much these parasites can be used, but they modify the body so well that all physical limitations humans have are a thing in the past. Most parasites feed off of germs and other undesirables in the body, but some require food such as a liquid shots or eating bio mass. The genetically engineered parasites are known as Paralisks. PSYSOC members are also trained to learn how their brain and body works allowing them to make full use of their abilities. However those who have extra special abilities such as the main characters and some of the villains. The action scenes are also much more violent than the Matrix. Some neat moves for the Gun Fu is 1.knocking an opponents gun in a way that causes his weapon to sway in direction of an opponent or target and discharge accidentally. 2.The ability to touch a bullet and stop it. This is done by putting your gun(or a metal object) in front of a flying bullet and when the bullet touches it you bring your gun backward at the pace of the bullet(I know this wouldn't work in real life. Don't rub it in), but also slow the pace of your gun down so the bullet runs out of juice. These two previous tactics where inspired by the game Mirrors Edge. 3.The most common is the ability to block a bullet using your gun(much like a sword deflecting a bullet). 4.The ability to take cover while wall running. This involves grabbing onto something on the wall and using it as cover. 5.The ability to slide behind an enemy which involves running up to an enemy and ducking to the left, right, or under near an enemy's legs grabbing it's cloths to swing behind him and then shoot(This move was inspired by the game Zone of the Enders). Sometimes these tactics are used with combination of a gun in one hand and a melee weapon in the other. 6:Knocking an enemy back(most commonly done with Yosha's jetpack) and riding as the enemy flies back, using an enemy as a shield as he soaks up gunfire. 7.Kicking an object in the air and using that object's surface to reflect gun fire.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Friend_Pedro#Gameplay

One idea I have is that parts of the action scenes alternate to and from first person, usually zooming in and out of our characters. A nod to Hardcore Henry.

Despite taking place in the year 2035 it looks like a few centuries later(no the characters don't dress in shiny jump suits or wear futuristic clothing that much). Despite PSYSOC having the best equipment and weapons the criminal gangs can use equipment such as electric force field shields, jet packs, and such since humanity has come into contact with aliens in the year 2019(adds more scenarios and variety to the action scenes). However it is also mentioned that throughout the years various evolution in robotics, cybernetics, and such has made it easier for futuristic devices to be made from scrap which gangs have taken advantage of. For example:One could make a missile launching mech robot out of metal pipes, a computer monitor and keyboard, some motors, and homemade missile launchers. As a matter of fact D-Company has a mercenary group consisting of various members of certain criminal gangs that built their own high tech mech bots or bought them. Criminal gang members that will sometimes plant gang tattoo decals and giant bandannas on their mechs(weird isn't it).


Important note:This next detail is quite out there since it involves people that would be impossible for me to get connections with. The reason why I typed up this part of the concept document long ago is due to the fact that when I was working on this at first I myself was completely obsessed that I was going to hit it big. But even if I have that shining potential it would be neigh impossible to get one or two or esspecially all these high profile people to work on this project. However normally i'd erase this section, but it contains important info about the concept.

Idea's for a production cast:


Director:David Sandberg(the guy who directed Kong Fury which, like Grayland has alot of weird shit), Bong Joon-ho, or Goro Taniguchi.
Screenplay:Christopher Nolan, David Sandberg, and Katsuhiro Otomo
Set design:Katsuhiro Otomo, George Lucas,
Cel Shading and lighting:Makoto Shinkai(the animater. Not the right-wing extremist)
Music:Norihiko Hibino, Yuzo Koshiro
Katsuhiron Otomo and George Lucas could help with the screenplay and set design. Katsuhiro Otomo worked on the screenplay for the anime movies Akira and Metropolis. Both of which are given futuristic settings(considering how Grayland looks like it took place in the year 3000 I think you can see why I choose Katsuhiro Otomo). George Lucas was the creator of the Star Wars trilogy and while the prequals to the Starwars franchise has been quite a disappointment I believe that Grayland shall give Mr.Lucas an opportunity to resurrect his career and his glory as a film maker. Cinematography work would be done by Anthony Dod Mantie who did the cinematography for the 2012 film Dredd.


The action scenes could be done by Cyril Reffaelli and Ike Uwals. Cyril Reffaelli did the fight scenes from the film District 13. Ike Uwals did the fight scenes from the film Raid Redemption. Granted both of those films used martial arts for their action scenes despite Grayland relaying on firearms and explosive, but since the main character(along with other characters) relies on speed and evasion tactics to jump through streams of bullets, I think those two(Reffaelli and Ike) can handle it.

Makoto Shinkai will work on the cel shading and lighting for the screenplay since he worked on several animated films that show his skill at setting the tone and feel toward what's going on(notice how I said Makoto Shinkai. Not Makoto Sakurai. Try not to get them mixed up). Makoto Shinkai worked on films such as Voices from a Distant Star and the Place Promised in our Early Days(both of which had wonderful lighting). Although Grayland is not a fully animated film it uses such a unique art style the combines anime style cel shading, CGI, actual set design, and drawn images together it seems to be safe to say that his skill could be of use.

Sidenote:Makoto Shinkai's films in all fairness aren't in league with what i'm aiming for with Grayland. Considering that he mostly does love stories, I can't promise much.

Cut to 2:07 in this video

The music in the film will mainly consist of techno music. I have two sets of recommendations for the music. The first set is for it to be done by Yuzo Koshiro and Norihiko Hibino. Yuzo Koshiro did the music for the Streets of Rage series. Norihiko Hibino did the music for the Zone of the Enders series. The second set is for it to be done by the Power Glove(and electronic music duo from Australia). Power Glove did the music for Hobo with a Shotgun and Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon(i'm honestly more interested in having Power Glove do the music since a lot of neon lightening is used for the art style and their music feels more suitable for that).

Sidenote:I am thinking of having the music line up in sync with the screenplay and story much like in Baby Driver:

I'm not sure about this, but i'm thinking about the music in the film could be licensed remixes of classic 90's games. This is an extremely risky concept. I can't promise it'll pay off, but I personally think it's worth considering. Here are a couple OST's that could be remixed:

As for the film's theme, I haven't thought of anything, but since the film is a post apocolypse space opera, the Ashes 2063 theme will do for now. Ashes 2063 being a total conversion mod, but it would be different than that that mod.

Either that or Neo Tokyo from Scandroid.

One final note:regardless as to who works on this film, I only request that the Wachowskis have nothing to do with it. While the Wachowskis have made a few good films such was the first two Matrix films and V for Vendetta more often than not their recent films have fallen flat. They never improve on the short comings their films suffer from and as a result I can't trust them with this idea. Watch the Nostalgia Critic's reviews on their movies and you'll see what I mean:


Other directors i'd like to avoid are M.Night Shyamalan, Michael Bay, Luc Besson(his work is too much of a mixed bag), and Zack Snyder.

Sidenote:I will be perfectly fair. You can say what you will about Roland Emmerich and Michael Bay. Most, but not all of their films are lousy, but they at least have the decency to respond to their critics and defend their actions. While I disagree with their methods in making films, I respect their decision to make their films in their image, because they, unlike the Wachowskis at least give an excuse for their shortcomings that allow me to respect their choice. They make popcorn films to please basic moviegoers. The Wachowskis shortcomings would have been acceptable either if they reflected upon their criticism and improved or if they gave an excuse for their actions. Despite my liking of the first two Matrix films, I just can't stand how the Wachowskis never even bother to improve upon their work given the massive potental the Matrix franchise had. Had the Wachowskis improved it could have reveiled Starwars. If the Wachowskis improved upon their work, it might have revialed what I have in the Grayland script(though Grayland has yet to become a film so I might never know).


Of course, most of me states that it's highly unlikely that the Matrix and Starwars are the best way to compare to one another. The same can be said with Grayland if it's ever a success. While Grayland has a lot of elements from both films such as the transhumanistic themes and post apocalyptic story(even if the Matrix has no escape which i'll mention latter) and the space opera thems of Starwars it is far better to compare with the Matrix than Starwars because Grayland is highly political and philosophical(even if politics aren't a major them in the Matrix). Starwars, no matter which installment usually has one core basic concept. An alliance of rebels fighting a totalitarian inter-galactic regime(the Empire). When I first began working on Grayland, I never knew what it had this has the potential to become yet my ego and excitement thought that his can rival Starwars, sadly the context of Grayland's story would make comparing the two on cultural impact as impossible, one of many reasons lies not only the violence in the film, but the politics from across the political spectrum which could prevent Grayland's impact. The Xcom videogame series(turn based tactical strategy series) along with it's reboot in 2012 were never ment, to be more or less better than one another as the the tension from the such of the original Xcom was abandoned with the remake. I mention which because sometimes timeless classics can't be replicated.

In contrast, another contradiction is Saints Row which aimed at defeating the GTA series in terms of value and impact. At first Saints Row was a hit with it improving on the standard GTA series, but despite it's attempts to deviate itself from further from GTA with weird and strange gameplay and plot elements(Saints Row 3 and 4 to be exact) never went anywhere. What these two contradicting examples are isn't he best way to compare to my original intent for Grayland to overpower Starwars, reality came in, Grayland's controversial plotline, sensitive subject matter, and consistanly changing storyline while also it's greatest strengths, also serves as it's greatest weaknesses esspecially when compared to Starwars. The violence, blood, and gore in conjunction with the potential "R" rating that Grayland will face, is by far the least of it's concerns, as there are many political themes that would be difficult from people across from all ages impossible to understand, and even inappropriate for children of young age. While the Matrix is one of the better comparisons for Grayland, esspecially since,( and despite the fact hat I loved the first to Matrix movies while hating the third) couldn't help, but feel disappointed as i've stated that the potential for the Matrix was never realized.

But even and regardless if Grayland's philosophy creates a massive movement like the Matrix has, or even Uncle Tom's Cabin(a book on slavery that divided America) for that matter, Grayland isn't best compared to Starwars as, while Starwars almost universally has a simple story which wouldn't work today as based story has been done to death, it is also it's greatest strength to the point of being an immortal strength over Grayland. It's why the Saga Comic Series, even though I have never read them(but may or may not in the future as i'm a little polarized on what I know about it) has never been turned into a TV series or movie. That series creator fears that THAT series would end up like The Last Airbender from 2010, Some stories work better off in differing formats. When I first saw the Matrix, I made the mistake of seeing the second film, the Matrix Reloaded, which was confusing. And while the narrative of the Matrix(how it's told through excessive dialog) is something i'd like to improve on, even Grayland will be hard to understand to the children.

Moving on...
As for M.Night Shyamalan, while he mostly rejects the criticism, he at least has the strength to respond to it. In fact, Shyamalan at least made a comeback, starting with the Visit and improving with Split.


One thing I need to do to further inspire Grayland is to research what made Starwars so great to begin with. I should start by watching the documentries.

Since succeeding where the Matrix failed was one of my inspirations for Grayland, I should do the same with the Matrix.

Seeing how Grayland has heavy transhumanist themes to it, I also could take a look at documentries on that subject.
Another area worth researching is violent crime in centrail america since those countries have some of the highest violent crime in the world. Seeing how Grayland 1 is about violent crime Honduras, El Salvador, Brazil, and Guatemala.

In the meantime, one idea I have is to post parts of this on a writing forum and start my own eventually if I must get this off the ground. SCP Foundation style.
 
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directorik

IndieTalk's Resident Guru
Before I post anything, I do have one question. One reason why i'm on this site is that throughout the last few years, I myself had giving download links of my work on this story to a few individuals. What has me concerned is that, long term this could lead to my story being stolen, and while i've been told that my work, as long as i've typed it up, is indeed copyrighted due to the fact that I myself had typed it up, I do have concerns about possible repercussions(yes, I know it was a mistake to share the story). With that in mind, I was hoping that I could first gather the details on whether or not it would be safe to share the contents of my work on this site. I've been working on this story for a massively long time and I want to see that it my story is safeguarded as best I can before I share too much on this site.
I didn't read the research you posted. Wow, that's a lot! But I
will answer your one question:

Nothing you do can prevent your story being stolen. Yes, copyright
is automatic in the U.S. but that doesn't stop someone from breaking
the law. However, if you want feedback you need to share it with other
writers. This site is a safe place to do that. But anyone at anytime can
steal your story. It's very difficult to defend against that.

I'm curious to read your story.
 
I didn't read the research you posted. Wow, that's a lot! But I
will answer your one question:

Nothing you do can prevent your story being stolen. Yes, copyright
is automatic in the U.S. but that doesn't stop someone from breaking
the law. However, if you want feedback you need to share it with other
writers. This site is a safe place to do that. But anyone at anytime can
steal your story. It's very difficult to defend against that.

I'm curious to read your story.
Very well. I've updated the thread with a download link to the stop. It is advised to first read the "Grayland concept document" as it will provide more context to what i'm going for. As i've said in the edit i've just made some of the content and subject matter in the story is distressing and isn't easy to take lightly. Esspecially since some of the plot is based on true events and people.
 

directorik

IndieTalk's Resident Guru
I don't think I'm up to reading the concept document. Nor
do I have the time to read several wiki pages and watch hours
of videos. That's a lot to take in.

But I sure am curious to read your finished screenplay.

Do you think your screenplay will stand on its own without all
context you're posting?
 
I don't think I'm up to reading the concept document. Nor
do I have the time to read several wiki pages and watch hours
of videos. That's a lot to take in.

But I sure am curious to read your finished screenplay.

Do you think your screenplay will stand on its own without all
context you're posting?
It would be pretty hard to understand without the concept document. You don't really have to read the wikipedia pages and whatnot to understand much of the story. Most of the citations are just that. Citations. However i've been taking baby steps to tread carefully in order to make sure that I myself don't write myself into a corner. The main concept document tells much of the background story for Grayland more than anything and the world it represents. It's a about an alien girl with infinite knowledge who is picked up by NASA in outer space. She uses her knowledge to grant humanity massive technological progress that is thousands of years more powerful than our own. Shortly after her arrival on earth however a massive nebula contaminates the galaxy killing off the ozone layers of many planets and leaving the universe into a massive wasteland that few alien colonies survive. Basically like Star Wars meets the Fallout series. A post apocalyptic space opera(not to be confused with opera as Space Opera has nothing to do with music).
 

onebaldman

Pro Member
indiePRO
IOTM Winner
It would be pretty hard to understand without the concept document. You don't really have to read the wikipedia pages and whatnot to understand much of the story. Most of the citations are just that. Citations.
The main issue with all of the info on your posts is that it only completes the world building check box.

All of that is background information that only helps you to really understand your characters and the rules of the world they live in.

Don't get me wrong, you should still have a deep understanding of these rules, it only makes it easier for you to write your script.

BUT you shouldn't show any of this material to anyone who isn't writing for you. Showing all of this research just makes you look like you don't have anything worthwhile to other filmmakers, and it makes it look like you are still in the development stages.

Do yourself a really early favor, and reduce all of this down to a two sentence synopsis. Save the Mad Max meets Star Wars as your theme to describe the feeling this film should have.

So when people ask you what you are writing, only give them the synopsis and the themes. Three sentences tops.

The stuff you are sharing is not something that you should be sharing.

Or as Willem Dafoe says in "The Lighthouse".....

36uk9f.jpg
 
The main issue with all of the info on your posts is that it only completes the world building check box.

All of that is background information that only helps you to really understand your characters and the rules of the world they live in.

Don't get me wrong, you should still have a deep understanding of these rules, it only makes it easier for you to write your script.

BUT you shouldn't show any of this material to anyone who isn't writing for you. Showing all of this research just makes you look like you don't have anything worthwhile to other filmmakers, and it makes it look like you are still in the development stages.

Do yourself a really early favor, and reduce all of this down to a two sentence synopsis. Save the Mad Max meets Star Wars as your theme to describe the feeling this film should have.

So when people ask you what you are writing, only give them the synopsis and the themes. Three sentences tops.

The stuff you are sharing is not something that you should be sharing.

Or as Willem Dafoe says in "The Lighthouse".....

View attachment 1332
Will do. I've removed the download link to be a on the safe side. Might as well be more brief. Thanks.
 

directorik

IndieTalk's Resident Guru
It would be pretty hard to understand without the concept document.
I wonder if that's a wise choice. I've read over 2,000 scripts and never once
have I ever had to read a concept document in order to understand a script.
A post apocalyptic space opera(not to be confused with opera as Space Opera has nothing to do with music).
Why is it called a Space Opera if it has nothing to do with music?
 
I wonder if that's a wise choice. I've read over 2,000 scripts and never once
have I ever had to read a concept document in order to understand a script.

Why is it called a Space Opera if it has nothing to do with music?
Yes. I've gotten that response before. When I used the term post apocalyptic space opera people get the impression that it's a science fiction musical or some sort of stage play, when in reality the term Space Opera is a genre of science fiction that usually takes place outside earth. Star Wars is an example of this and while much of the first Grayland takes place on earth itself there are times when Yosha, the main character is sent out into the Inter-Galactic Apocalypse herself. In one mission she and other PSYSOC members(PSYSOC being the faction Yosha is a member of) are sent to a contaminated planet covered by a nebula with hollow crystal mountains that have ruined underground cities under them that have been flooded. Post Apocalyptic films are supposed to have unique environments, so I figured why not Grayland.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
In any official capacity or literature I would not explain my genre in parentheses, if people don't get it, they are not your audience anyway, and it could also be seen as dumbing down your potential audience.

That's like me saying "It's a pulp detective story (not to be confused with Pulp Fiction the movie, this is a genre)...
 
Sorry about that. I myself couldn't help, but cite sources as I felt that they would add more detail to the imagination that I am trying to portray to the audience. I can see that many people would be hesitant to read the citations themselves. It's not something that is mandatory to understand the plot.
I alsowill admit that the "Sidenotes" i've added in myself to add context to the message i'm getting across may come off as distracting and may unintentionally pull people out of the story and I won't hold it against them for claiming that. In this day and age people end up being too offended by so many things with people across the United States and it's political spectrum being at odds with one another. I wanted to explore that with a story that partially highlights the division people these days are suffering from and how people have lost their ability to understand their differences. The fact many plot lines are based on real life organizations(something commonly done in South Park despite Grayland being a different genre than that) is another aspect that causes me to pause the story to explain my intentions given the gravity of the plot's references to real world event's. It's easy to forget the tone i'm aiming for via the unique art style that intend with the story.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
Where I could see it actually being effective is if you ever do a crowdsourcing campaign, you could do a video explaining the space opera genre as well as your project. It could be informative as well as hook people into your project.
 

directorik

IndieTalk's Resident Guru
You have a very, very difficult road ahead of you. A script that can't
stand on its own is likely to end up a movie that can't. If you, as a writer,
need to explain the reader your intentions I suspect it will make a very
difficult and long read.

It seems like you are attempting an awful lot with mixing genres and social
commentary homages to other films and many different styles. I can't
wrap my head around what you are attempting - there is so much information
here.

But even so, I'm hoping someday that you will have a finished script for
us to read.
 
Where I could see it actually being effective is if you ever do a crowdsourcing campaign, you could do a video explaining the space opera genre as well as your project. It could be informative as well as hook people into your project.
Hmmm. Interesting proposal. Maybe down the road I could take that route.

You have a very, very difficult road ahead of you. A script that can't
stand on its own is likely to end up a movie that can't. If you, as a writer,
need to explain the reader your intentions I suspect it will make a very
difficult and long read.

It seems like you are attempting an awful lot with mixing genres and social
commentary homages to other films and many different styles. I can't
wrap my head around what you are attempting - there is so much information
here.

But even so, I'm hoping someday that you will have a finished script for
us to read.
Thank you. Yes, there are many, many difficult and risky plotlines, but in many genres and concepts big risks tend to have big pay offs.
 
I'm sure there will be music, he is using the term in the dramatic sense, like a soap opera.
When most "formal" entertainment was on the stage (18th & 19th centuries) Opera was the most expensive, expansive, extravagant of staged works - huge casts, singing, dancing, fabulous sets, special effects, costuming, etc. Using the term "Opera" when applied to visual media such as TV and film reflects that expansive, extravagant production style. A John Ford style western (with the incredible western vistas, and huge battle scenes) was often referred to as a "Horse Opera," just as a long form continuing daytime TV series whose advertisers marketed to female homemakers (selling them dish soap, washing machine detergents, etc.) were called "Soap Operas." This was later applied to Star Wars style film making (as Lucas said, "It's a Western set in outer space"), so by extension those huge budget, extravagant outer space films became "Space Operas."

See? History can be fun and interesting!

As a sound guy I always loved the story of John Dennis. He was an unsuccessful playwright in the early 18th century. Back then, when a thunder sound effect was needed, they would use a cart with uneven wheels filled with rocks (or something similar) and roll it across the stage (behind the sets, of course) and use a lever to pick it up and drop it to create thunder sounds, which required a lot of space. In the very small theater where John Dennis presented one of his plays there was no room for these large sound effects machines. Although it is unclear if he used a version of the mustard bowl technique (a huge stone bowl for grinding mustard seeds was placed on a large box and rough cannon balls were rolled around inside), or hanging a very large extruded sheet of metal (the classic thunder sheet) as a solution to this problem, the idea was quickly picked up by other theatrical producers after his play failed. When Dennis attended one of these plays and noticed they were using his idea he supposedly shouted "DAMN!!! They stole my thunder!"
 
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