Flash back in side a flash back?

[wheatgrinder]

So, Im embracing the whole flashback idea!

I have flashback where one character begins to explain what "happened" in the past.. Im tempted turn this retelling into a flashback.. thus a flashback inside a flashback.. this seems like a bad idea on a gut level.. should I avoid this, or go with it? Can you think of any films that do this?

Thanks..

 

[Swink]

Probably not, unless it's for comic effect.

Flashbacks can really get out of hand. I write for the page, not the screen yet, and it's the same. And if the flashback goes on too long, the reader/audience can lose touch with with main storyline.

 

[indietalk]

Does it work to move the story forward?

 

[Buddy Greenfield]

There is no creatively right or wrong, so I would say try it a few ways and explore the options on paper.

In general, my instinct is as Indie is asking, does it move the story forward?

Does the info relayed in the flashback (or flashback inside a flashback) reveal to us something new that immediately advances the story in the present?

I think if you try a few ways on paper, and examine them, you can ask yourself:

“Am I moving things forward, or am I moving things sideways”?
“Did I trade a pound of now for an ounce of then, and if so was it worth it?”
“Is there a better way to do the same thing?”
“Which way is most effective for the sake of the audience being shown a story?”

-Thanks-

 

[Jijenji]

If you write a flashback, remember these things:

1. The writer must create the desire to want to watch the flashback.

You have to lead the audience in to a flashback. You are breaking the narrative action, and this is not something a viewer wants to experience. They would prefer to stay in the original story. The only way the flashback will be successful is if you as the writer create the desire to go back in time. You have to do that in the scene(s) right before the flashback.

2. The flashback has to be essential to the story.

It has to move the overall story forward. If it does not, you must cut it because it is unnecessary.

3. The flashback must be dramatized.

This means no cheap tv-show type flashbacks, where your character sees an object or hears words that remind them of something, so you teleport the audience back in time 5 years to clue them in on what the actor is thinking. That is very cheap and terrible writing. You can do that in a novel (because the story takes place inside characters' minds), but not in a screenplay. If it's not dramatized, it won't work.

First, make the audience want to go back in time to see what you have to show them.
It better be something important to the story.
And it must be dramatic.

 

[wheatgrinder]

If you write a flashback, remember these things:

1. The writer must create the desire to want to watch the flashback.

You have to lead the audience in to a flashback. You are breaking the narrative action, and this is not something a viewer wants to experience. They would prefer to stay in the original story. The only way the flashback will be successful is if you as the writer create the desire to go back in time. You have to do that in the scene(s) right before the flashback.

2. The flashback has to be essential to the story.

It has to move the overall story forward. If it does not, you must cut it because it is unnecessary.

3. The flashback must be dramatized.

This means no cheap tv-show type flashbacks, where your character sees an object or hears words that remind them of something, so you teleport the audience back in time 5 years to clue them in on what the actor is thinking. That is very cheap and terrible writing. You can do that in a novel (because the story takes place inside characters' minds), but not in a screenplay. If it's not dramatized, it won't work.

First, make the audience want to go back in time to see what you have to show them.
It better be something important to the story.
And it must be dramatic.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the input.

I was just writing excuses and reasons why my flashbacks work, but they don't.
In a fit of inspiration I moved the first flash back, to the beginning of the story! It works! I still plan to pull out a final flashback near the end, ala. "Signs", which will link the past drama to the "present" crisis, but I don't see much reason for any others!

For the curious, some of my excuses why I wanted to keep my flashbacks.

• The back story is really cool
• The present is somewhat dull without the back story
• Fun (OK, cheap) tricks to try like.. this action leads to similar action if flashback..
• Want to get the back story out of the way (mostly) so I can move forward with the present

With one exception, the above list is BETTER served by having the back story "up front" if you will...

 

[wheatgrinder]

Now that my story is more linear, how do I turn THIS dialog, into visual story that I can tell in a few scenes? (or other ways to communicate this VO?, Naration..??)

FYI: Already established: the "ship" is a giant UFO that just hung over some countryside.

------------
DAN

At first nothing happened. After the ship showed up, we all waited around for, I don't know, SOMETHING... for almost three months we waited.

Then we started losing people. It was slow at first, just the sick and the old. But as the reports starting coming in, it became crystal clear. ...if you were about to die, you didn't. You just disappeared.

JAMIE

But Mom wasn't sick, she was fine ... and now shes gone!

DAN

... At first only the people who were about to die would vanish, the other thing, the other.. "vector" took longer to notice. A "thought virus" they said...something in our brains, no thats not right, something in our "Minds", could make a healthy person... .cause her to...

Jamie steps close and rest her hand on his shoulder.

JAMIE

Dad..

DAN

Like you said, Mom was fine, we were up late... she was, excited, talking into the night, as I.. as I fell asleep... She was gone in the morning.

 

[barnaclelapse]

Probably not, unless it's for comic effect.

Flashbacks can really get out of hand. I write for the page, not the screen yet, and it's the same. And if the flashback goes on too long, the reader/audience can lose touch with with main storyline.

I was just about to say that I could really only see that work if it was for comic effect. Anything else and it just seems like you run the risk of distracting from the story.

I think Jijenji's input really sums up the whole flashback deal.

 

[wheatgrinder]

Now that my story is more linear, how do I turn THIS dialog, into visual story that I can tell in a few scenes? (or other ways to communicate this VO?, Naration..??)

FYI: Already established: the "ship" is a giant UFO that just hung over some countryside.

------------
DAN

At first nothing happened. After the ship showed up, we all waited around for, I don't know, SOMETHING... for almost three months we waited.

Then we started losing people. It was slow at first, just the sick and the old. But as the reports starting coming in, it became crystal clear. ...if you were about to die, you didn't. You just disappeared.

JAMIE

But Mom wasn't sick, she was fine ... and now shes gone!

DAN

... At first only the people who were about to die would vanish, the other thing, the other.. "vector" took longer to notice. A "thought virus" they said...something in our brains, no thats not right, something in our "Minds", could make a healthy person... .cause her to...

Jamie steps close and rest her hand on his shoulder.

JAMIE

Dad..

DAN

Like you said, Mom was fine, we were up late... she was, excited, talking into the night, as I.. as I fell asleep... She was gone in the morning.

Never-mind about that, Iv worked my way past that..