Filmmaking Lesson #3 - Don't let yourself get in the way

I am posting these in hopes that future me comes back, and reads them. Maybe to remind myself where I came from... Maybe to show how naive I was in the past... Hopefully to keep my brain grounded.

I also hope being honest and open helps other filmmakers. I have no delusions that I am "a great" or high on my horse. Only spouting what comes to mind. I've always been that way.

That said, my past attitude has put a shield up in my life. When meeting new people, I always tread lightly, in an attempt to not repeat past mistakes and offend them with my candid and up front behavior. My tact level is limited, but its what makes me, me.

The real problem comes when I try too hard to behave like someone else. I get quiet, afraid to offend, afraid of conflict that comes naturally with my style. So, in laymen terms, I am always either too quiet, or too outspoken. Never able to find that middle area.

.... Or so I tell myself.

All that jibber jabber in my mind..... I am apparently full of it.
My brain is a huuuuuuge bullshitter.

Case in point...

I noticed my crew was acting strange on the second day of filming. That kind of stuff really gets to me. I feel it in my heart. So the whole time, my mind was saying "oh no.... You did it again... You offended them, pissed them off, said the wrong thing... Same ol' you."

On and on this went in my head, the entire shoot and into the next week afterward.

It was enough negative crap floating in my mind to really get me down and out of the creative mindset. I took the advice I got from this forum, and decided to take a break from the project. I didn't touch any footage, didn't look at the internet sites, stayed away from social media. Cold turkey.

All those thoughts bothered me so much, I contacted a member of the crew and asked for their thoughts on my attitude/or if they noticed anything that 2nd day of filming.

They said I was really just overthinking it. The only thing I could really work on was to maybe be a little more demanding of quality. That's it.

After that, I thanked them for the feedback, and started realizing that all those negative thoughts were lies. Generated by my younger mindset, the mindset developed from past events. I let events from long ago catch up to me in the present and derail my creativity. Instead of focusing on how to avoid screwing up, I should have been focused on the task at hand.

TLDUF;

Get away from your own thoughts or opinions about your project or your work, and focus on getting into and wrapped up in the art itself. Sometimes, the inner critic is the one that is the most damaging to your work.

There must be a fine balance between following your heart, and repelling the drama of your mind.
 
More demanding of quality? How did they come to this determination? What were you doing to make them think you didn't care about quality? Were you saying things like "That's okay, it's good enough" when the DP said he needed another shot, etc?
 
More demanding of quality? How did they come to this determination? What were you doing to make them think you didn't care about quality? Were you saying things like "That's okay, it's good enough" when the DP said he needed another shot, etc?

Well that feedback I can agree with. I keep telling him that this film is a huge leap in quality compared to the last, so of course I am going to be ecstatic and pleased with almost everything they do.

I am figuring that out though, and if that is the main complaint, I consider myself lucky.
 
It's a big deal though. Your whole crew's disposition is on you. Your passion matters and if they think you don't care, they don't care. They want to be a part of something big too. If you are confident in that you need to show it. If you are hesitant because you feel you are inconveniencing them, you need to remember... if you treat them right, they are willing to take this journey with you. So put those fears aside and go for it.
 
Did it help? Or just make the walls higher and harder to climb?

It helped for sure. I need time to absorb things, and it gave me that.

All the negative thoughts seemed to work themselves out with time.

And then after talking with another crew member about it, especially now that I wasn't emotionally compromising myself, I came back with a clearer mindset.

It was just my brain overreacting again.

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Edit:

I also watched the creation of Star Wars doc, where it described George Lucas' struggle with A New Hope. The man was hospitalized because of stress in that film. Granted, he had way more on his plate than me. But that spoke to me.

Watching other Directors struggle with their productions seems to help a bit too.
 
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It helped for sure. I need time to absorb things, and it gave me that.

All the negative thoughts seemed to work themselves out with time.

And then after talking with another crew member about it, especially now that I wasn't emotionally compromising myself, I came back with a clearer mindset.

It was just my brain overreacting again.

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Edit:

I also watched the creation of Star Wars doc, where it described George Lucas' struggle with A New Hope. The man was hospitalized because of stress in that film. Granted, he had way more on his plate than me. But that spoke to me.

Watching other Directors struggle with their productions seems to help a bit too.

I have had to experience similar in terms of worrying or stressing too much. It’s actually because of my mind tricking me and worrying that my crew slowly left my project over time. I guess people saw that I was a bit down sometimes about the project and so they mirrored my actions. I guess the lesson is that the crew on the film set mirrors your attitude, whatever attitude you have will be reflected and they will have it too. So if you worry about things too much it will show and they will worry as well-and that’s the worst thing to have in a film-worry.
Now from reading these posts and looking at what others have said, the feedback, I have taken a step back like you have and I can’t express enough the good it’s done for me. I really have been feeling and trying to make myself more creative minded and positive. Hakuna matata no worries and that has done wonders.
Just now today ive gotten 4 more actors for the film because they can see my positivity and passion towards it. Even though it was always there no one could really see it previously-but now it’s awake. It feels as if I’m awake. Also people have been reviewing what I’ve done so far and saying it’s actually a great film-things are changing.

I guess we really just gotta put aside our inner doubts and (sometimes) silly mindsets on our projects and bring outside our inner hopes. Cause as the saying goes “The road that leads to success is the one that leads back to you.”
 
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I guess we really just gotta put aside our inner doubts and (sometimes) silly mindsets on our projects and bring outside our inner hopes. Cause as the saying goes “The road that leads to success is the one that leads back to you.”

That is a nice quote, I'll try to remember that.

This forum is great for realizing broken ways of thinking. At first, sometimes the feedback may seem harsh, but in the end its the feedback that matters most.
 
That is a nice quote, I'll try to remember that.

This forum is great for realizing broken ways of thinking. At first, sometimes the feedback may seem harsh, but in the end its the feedback that matters most.

Its funny you say that cause I have recently been receiving some very savage criticism lol from other filmmakers on my film. I’ll give a hint:
-Too much narration/bad acting/bad costume etc.
Sometimes the truth is harsh, but harsh can be good. And we gotta adapt and improve to whatever comes our way.
I actually am learning to enjoy and take in criticism very well, so please don't hold back and be as savage as you possibly can after you see my film lol.
 
Its funny you say that cause I have recently been receiving some very savage criticism lol from other filmmakers on my film. I’ll give a hint:
-Too much narration/bad acting/bad costume etc.
Sometimes the truth is harsh, but harsh can be good. And we gotta adapt and improve to whatever comes our way.
I actually am learning to enjoy and take in criticism very well, so please don't hold back and be as savage as you possibly can after you see my film lol.

The bar of entry is so low for filmmaking, it is easy to get caught up in people's opinions.

Just remember, no one thought the following movies/franchises would be successful:

Star Wars (Everyone, even the actors, thought it was silly)
Home Alone (Everyone turned it down because they thought it was too violent to be a kids movie)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (People turned it down because they thought the turtles were stupid)
Dirty Dancing (Everyone turned it down because they thought it was a porn film)

Criticism is great, but it hardly makes a film happen. YOU make it happen. So, take the feedback, but don't rely so much on it.
 
The bar of entry is so low for filmmaking, it is easy to get caught up in people's opinions.

Just remember, no one thought the following movies/franchises would be successful:

Star Wars (Everyone, even the actors, thought it was silly)
Home Alone (Everyone turned it down because they thought it was too violent to be a kids movie)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (People turned it down because they thought the turtles were stupid)
Dirty Dancing (Everyone turned it down because they thought it was a porn film)

Criticism is great, but it hardly makes a film happen. YOU make it happen. So, take the feedback, but don't rely so much on it.

Your right. So right. But even so, without criticism Star Wars would not be what it is today. The first cut was incredibly penalized and savagely brought down on. Causing George and others to improve it greatly. Your ded right hat we shoudnt rely on feedback entirely. We should instead rely on ourselves more to interpret it the way way and know when to use it.
A new hope is actually my inspiration film. Cause the first cut was so bad, just like mine lol.
 
Your right. So right. But even so, without criticism Star Wars would not be what it is today. The first cut was incredibly penalized and savagely brought down on. Causing George and others to improve it greatly. Your ded right hat we shoudnt rely on feedback entirely. We should instead rely on ourselves more to interpret it the way way and know when to use it.
A new hope is actually my inspiration film. Cause the first cut was so bad, just like mine lol.

I will have to watch your film to really grasp what you mean. But to me, it sounds like your passion is outweighing your potential. I also have that problem, and usually what that means is either you need to find someone better than you in that weak area, or stop releasing material and study/learn/practice more.
 
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