It's a good read, you'll be rewarded at the end. Stick with me here. But, just in case LINK TO EPISODE AT THE BOTTOM
As some of you know, since the start of the year I've been trying to pitch my comedy series "We're going to be rich!," with no luck.
I got together with some friends (some comedians, some with no experience) and went ahead and decided to record this myself. Now, this is not my first project, but it is my most ambitious.
It's been about a year now, and I just published my third episode. That's right... Count with me in Count Chocula voice, one... Two... Three... Three... This WHOLE year.
Three 1/2 hr episodes later, and I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, this is ****ing brutal.
I used to think, that as long as something felt right within you, and you were following that feeling and you have positive intentions that the world would align itself to help you... I am here to say, I no longer think that way. The world is going to **** you sooooo, oh sooo hard.
In filming this episode, I've hit the lowest of my lows. It seemed as if the world was literally, egging me to stop. Now I don't want you to read this as a complaint, it all ends well, I just want to show you in case you did not know.
Let me list some* of the set backs we encountered while filming this last episode. This, in the span of 3 months.
FYI: My cast is open about these issues, so the people I am mentioning here are OK with me telling this, I just won't give out specifics.
1. 2 shooting Cancellations the day of, due to rain. Each time, took 3 weeks to get the cast to be free on the same day again. I call this "making the stars align."
2. One of the main actors, had a trial pending, and because of the cancellations, we ran into his trial date, and he was sentenced to 3 months in jail... In the middle of shooting the episode. Yup.
He had a week to turn himself in, I had to rewrite the script and isolate him in new scenes to make it all work together, and get all this done in that week.
3. Did I mention I had no Camera man for any extra days outside of the budget which I had already spent by now. Yeah. Had to get a new camera guy and convince him to work for free, in that week.
A. In case you were wondering. Yes, I even put up a Craigslist
ad. Oh man, some of those replies were just scary. A young man I met at a movie premiere helped me out.
4. Two cast members got into a fight, on set. A black eye on one of them, made continuity a problem. We did what we could. But ultimately, another reschedule.
A. I cried on set shortly before this happened. In front of
everyone. The pressure is just so intense, and it feels like no
one is helping me. I fired everyone that day, pretty much.
Luckily, the crew and cast sees all I do, and understood my
frustration. And, helps that people want to work with me, so
we continued working.
5. In the gun trading scene filmed in New York City, cops were called on us. Various people reported arms trading, or home invasion worries thinking the weapons were real (You see how ridiculous I'm dressed in the episode? And we had a camera. Why would anyone call the cops? They saw us filming ALL DAY! But I digress).
I am not exaggerating when I say, my good sirs and ma'ams, about 10-13 cops showed up, weapons drawn. I had a handful of guns pointed at me. I literally felt myself being shot. 3 of us went to jail that day.
A. Scratched on jail walls of the downtown jail I was in, while I
looked for a sign I read one: "Just let me win."
6. So, my budget exhausted and I'm wasting my own. I have no rent money now, no food money, I gave this ****ing episode everything.
So then I get depressed, the lowest I've ever been. I just could not believe that the universe was trying to stop me. Everything I do is so ****ing, from the heart, my intentions are so pure, I work so hard at this, this is not some **** I just do, and yeah that's a lot of commas, but I write, edit, act in, plan, score, make songs for, direct, subtitle, buy props for and promote the things I do ALONE. ALL OF THEM! This is not a project with 100, or 50, or even 10 people working on it where I can disassociate myself a bit from it. You're feeling me, ALL OF ME. You are seeing me NAKED when I give this, and it gets SHUT DOWN!
I am PERSONALLY being rejected.
Stay with me here... It works out. :mpopcorn:
While depressed I gave up, I quit, if the universe doesn't want this, then there is nothing else in me to give, so I might as well give up, I can't battle the universe. That **** put me in rock bottom.
I woke up crying some days, because I had no reason to get up. I didn't care about food, I didn't care about anything. Water made me nauseous, nothing felt good anymore, can't even get a hard on, I don't care, anymore.
I am not sure if I believe in God, but I believe in something, and I told that something this: "If you won't let me do this thing I feel inside, then why put me here? End this for me... I can't live if I don't do this. There is no point. Everything is missing, if this is missing."
A funny thing happened there for me.
I realized this... I can't live if I can't create. I have no choice.
Just like that, it's like, the fog cleared up for me.
I don't have to ponder if I'm doing the right thing, or if I'm doing it the right way, or even if I will ever sell anything significant. The point is, I simply have no choice. It's this, or lock myself in a room until my heart stops, and while I have the option of being even remotely close to being able to create ANYTHING, then as hard as it is, I have to do it if I want to keep living.
This is so clear to me. I love this, and because of that, this will give me the lowest of lows, but I also know that there isn't a drug out there that makes me feel as high as this does when it goes RIGHT. That said, I hope you needed to hear that, because when I told it to myself, it gave me renewed strength, and cleared my mind up to do what it is I HAVE to do. Create.
So, without any further delay, here is my latest offering, a subtitled one at that. And it does not matter if it's any good, it just matters that I did it, and my goal should simply be to keep doing it better than last time. Ultimately, it's about bettering myself.
EPISODE 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqcQJ4_IUHc
(Brenda's rescue - subtitled) (My favorite)
.
.
.
.
As some of you know, since the start of the year I've been trying to pitch my comedy series "We're going to be rich!," with no luck.
I got together with some friends (some comedians, some with no experience) and went ahead and decided to record this myself. Now, this is not my first project, but it is my most ambitious.
It's been about a year now, and I just published my third episode. That's right... Count with me in Count Chocula voice, one... Two... Three... Three... This WHOLE year.
Three 1/2 hr episodes later, and I can tell you from the bottom of my heart, this is ****ing brutal.
I used to think, that as long as something felt right within you, and you were following that feeling and you have positive intentions that the world would align itself to help you... I am here to say, I no longer think that way. The world is going to **** you sooooo, oh sooo hard.
In filming this episode, I've hit the lowest of my lows. It seemed as if the world was literally, egging me to stop. Now I don't want you to read this as a complaint, it all ends well, I just want to show you in case you did not know.
Let me list some* of the set backs we encountered while filming this last episode. This, in the span of 3 months.
FYI: My cast is open about these issues, so the people I am mentioning here are OK with me telling this, I just won't give out specifics.
1. 2 shooting Cancellations the day of, due to rain. Each time, took 3 weeks to get the cast to be free on the same day again. I call this "making the stars align."
2. One of the main actors, had a trial pending, and because of the cancellations, we ran into his trial date, and he was sentenced to 3 months in jail... In the middle of shooting the episode. Yup.
He had a week to turn himself in, I had to rewrite the script and isolate him in new scenes to make it all work together, and get all this done in that week.
3. Did I mention I had no Camera man for any extra days outside of the budget which I had already spent by now. Yeah. Had to get a new camera guy and convince him to work for free, in that week.
A. In case you were wondering. Yes, I even put up a Craigslist
ad. Oh man, some of those replies were just scary. A young man I met at a movie premiere helped me out.
4. Two cast members got into a fight, on set. A black eye on one of them, made continuity a problem. We did what we could. But ultimately, another reschedule.
A. I cried on set shortly before this happened. In front of
everyone. The pressure is just so intense, and it feels like no
one is helping me. I fired everyone that day, pretty much.
Luckily, the crew and cast sees all I do, and understood my
frustration. And, helps that people want to work with me, so
we continued working.
5. In the gun trading scene filmed in New York City, cops were called on us. Various people reported arms trading, or home invasion worries thinking the weapons were real (You see how ridiculous I'm dressed in the episode? And we had a camera. Why would anyone call the cops? They saw us filming ALL DAY! But I digress).
I am not exaggerating when I say, my good sirs and ma'ams, about 10-13 cops showed up, weapons drawn. I had a handful of guns pointed at me. I literally felt myself being shot. 3 of us went to jail that day.
A. Scratched on jail walls of the downtown jail I was in, while I
looked for a sign I read one: "Just let me win."
6. So, my budget exhausted and I'm wasting my own. I have no rent money now, no food money, I gave this ****ing episode everything.
So then I get depressed, the lowest I've ever been. I just could not believe that the universe was trying to stop me. Everything I do is so ****ing, from the heart, my intentions are so pure, I work so hard at this, this is not some **** I just do, and yeah that's a lot of commas, but I write, edit, act in, plan, score, make songs for, direct, subtitle, buy props for and promote the things I do ALONE. ALL OF THEM! This is not a project with 100, or 50, or even 10 people working on it where I can disassociate myself a bit from it. You're feeling me, ALL OF ME. You are seeing me NAKED when I give this, and it gets SHUT DOWN!
I am PERSONALLY being rejected.
Stay with me here... It works out. :mpopcorn:
While depressed I gave up, I quit, if the universe doesn't want this, then there is nothing else in me to give, so I might as well give up, I can't battle the universe. That **** put me in rock bottom.
I woke up crying some days, because I had no reason to get up. I didn't care about food, I didn't care about anything. Water made me nauseous, nothing felt good anymore, can't even get a hard on, I don't care, anymore.
I am not sure if I believe in God, but I believe in something, and I told that something this: "If you won't let me do this thing I feel inside, then why put me here? End this for me... I can't live if I don't do this. There is no point. Everything is missing, if this is missing."
A funny thing happened there for me.
I realized this... I can't live if I can't create. I have no choice.
Just like that, it's like, the fog cleared up for me.
I don't have to ponder if I'm doing the right thing, or if I'm doing it the right way, or even if I will ever sell anything significant. The point is, I simply have no choice. It's this, or lock myself in a room until my heart stops, and while I have the option of being even remotely close to being able to create ANYTHING, then as hard as it is, I have to do it if I want to keep living.
This is so clear to me. I love this, and because of that, this will give me the lowest of lows, but I also know that there isn't a drug out there that makes me feel as high as this does when it goes RIGHT. That said, I hope you needed to hear that, because when I told it to myself, it gave me renewed strength, and cleared my mind up to do what it is I HAVE to do. Create.
So, without any further delay, here is my latest offering, a subtitled one at that. And it does not matter if it's any good, it just matters that I did it, and my goal should simply be to keep doing it better than last time. Ultimately, it's about bettering myself.
EPISODE 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqcQJ4_IUHc
(Brenda's rescue - subtitled) (My favorite)
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