archived-videos Comedic Romance between 2 Guys

S

sina12345

This is a short a few friends of mine decided to do over the summer. Over the course of shooting the story line became very ambiguous and hard to follow, I'm aware of that because we didn't plan this out very well, script was shoddy, but we learned for our next project.

Story follows a kid who wants to learn to drive, meets up with a friend to teach him, and one thing leads to another. Eventually they both wake up from their less than straight fantasy, and things get awkward.

I'm hesitant in posting this because I know a lot of the flaws in it and it's also a little embarrassing :blush:, but at the very least I'd like to hear some criticism about the cinematography or acting.

ENJOY!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocpoUCh4uxI&HD=1

and the GAG REEL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcVnv73zNZk&hd=1
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0
Dude. You know how anorexics think they're fat, when they're actually really skinny? You're the filmmaking equivalent of that. It seems to me like you think your work is so amateurish that you're scared to show it, or something, but in actuality, this is some badass work for a first-timer. I really enjoyed watching it.

Yeah, I would definitely recommend nailing down a solid script next time. Also, I feel like the same story could have been told in half the time. You've got a lot of cool shots in there, but many of them don't move the story forward, even slightly (especially the homage to "Sopranos" in the beginning). Along the same lines, I think a lot of those cuts can be made considerably quicker -- keep it moving. I like that you're not afraid to move the camera. The handheld stuff works out well on those shots that you panned and tilted on. However, the handheld stuff was kind of annoying on the stationary shots. Everything doesn't have to be like CSI. Lastly, was that a car-dolly? It looked nice.

Congrats on your first vid! It's a good one. Now, write a script and have fun with the next (FYI -- I laughed a lot, watching this one; I like your sense of humor).
 
Cracker Funk said:
Dude. You know how anorexics think they're fat, when they're actually really skinny? You're the filmmaking equivalent of that. It seems to me like you think your work is so amateurish that you're scared to show it, or something, but in actuality, this is some badass work for a first-timer. I really enjoyed watching it.

Yeah, I would definitely recommend nailing down a solid script next time. Also, I feel like the same story could have been told in half the time. You've got a lot of cool shots in there, but many of them don't move the story forward, even slightly (especially the homage to "Sopranos" in the beginning). Along the same lines, I think a lot of those cuts can be made considerably quicker -- keep it moving. I like that you're not afraid to move the camera. The handheld stuff works out well on those shots that you panned and tilted on. However, the handheld stuff was kind of annoying on the stationary shots. Everything doesn't have to be like CSI. Lastly, was that a car-dolly? It looked nice.

Congrats on your first vid! It's a good one. Now, write a script and have fun with the next (FYI -- I laughed a lot, watching this one; I like your sense of humor).
Click to expand...

Haha, reading the first 8 words I thought you were talking about my chubby friend, and thanks for the criticism.
Yea we put our camera guy through the sunroof of the car while my buddy drove away slowly, and we did use a tripod for a good portion of our shots too, but it wasn't a very good tripod so no smooth pans. Btw the stationary shots you mentioned, were you referring to the irrelevant sopranos intro or something else? I'd like to know where to work on for next time.

Also if you like my sense of humor, then you should like the next few ideas I have in mind! You've already read the next one, the other ones have a similar style. :)
 
I liked it very much. Was grinning the whole time, very cute. I especially liked the way you did the credits and the title on the gutter and the road signs and so on. I also really liked the misty park montage of aww. I agree with Cracker about the parts of it not exactly moving the story along and that it would be better with a stronger script, but I also agree with what he said about you not being so hard on yourself. This is great, I would be super psyched if I managed to make something half as good. Keep it up :) <3
 
Thanks for your opinion! As long as my videos can put a smile or even make people laugh, then I think they've done their job, hopefully in the near future they'll make a little more sense story wise too.
 
This was a valid first shot. Of course it could have been cut a little finer, yet beyond that, it was a good watch.

Kudos, bud.

EDIT: Your music choices where fantastic, may i add.
 
I liked it...I actually live in a house that backs up to a park that men go to meet one another and sometimes if you look you can see them doing some icky things...it made me think that Id love to see it if they really did go skipping and holding hands like that...you made me laugh and that is always good.

This might not be a critique because you might have intened this...but when the skinny boy was running into the park alone...was that the anti-shake over compensating...or was you wanting a surreal feel there...I just thought that would have been a better effect connceted to the part with the both of them in the park...like if it was a dream.
 
darrin_h2000 said:
I liked it...I actually live in a house that backs up to a park that men go to meet one another and sometimes if you look you can see them doing some icky things...it made me think that Id love to see it if they really did go skipping and holding hands like that...you made me laugh and that is always good.

This might not be a critique because you might have intened this...but when the skinny boy was running into the park alone...was that the anti-shake over compensating...or was you wanting a surreal feel there...I just thought that would have been a better effect connceted to the part with the both of them in the park...like if it was a dream.
Click to expand...

Haha, I'm glad you found it funny. Yea that part was a shot we could only do that day, and when I went home to watch it I realized it was terribly shaky, and shutter speed was too low, so hence the blur, we couldn't redo that shot because of our limited resources but I guess you could interpret it as a surreal feeling.

BTW, anyone wanting to watch the gag reel, check it out here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcVnv73zNZk&hd=1
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top