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Baga'a - Short script

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Actually, I wrote this for someone here on the forum. I don't think it's exactly what he was looking for, however.

If he decides not to make it, I will definitely make it, and I'd be thrilled as hell to have you do the sound, ROC.

Paper, it would be an honor and a learning experience to be on a set with you.

Thanks, guys!

-Charles
 
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That is excellent. Very well written. I'd be tempted to keep it for myself.

You know normally, I'd have quite a few criticisms and a list of mistakes. It's faultless. Don't touch it.
 
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It was good, and i enjoyed it. But fyi, the "Cut To's" are unnecessary. Thats the editors jobs, and the directors job to envisions the shot. Your job as the writer is to write out what is going on, the general details and dialogue of the scene. But we've all done that in our early stages of writing. Keep it up!

EDIT: i assumed you were in early stages of writing, but that was a guess. no offense meant.
 
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It's all nice, but the gun definitely has to be changed to a knife. They slit or take off your head. They don't use guns on these types of hostages. Plus a knife is easier to find.

Have you ever seen any of the beheading videos? They are fucking intense. I saw one, where they had a hard time getting through the neck, and they were cutting like it was a tough piece of meat. It's something.
 
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KrossCut, thanks for the advice. It's good advice. I was writing it with the thought of possibly shooting it myself, however, so the "cut to's" etc., were markers for my own benefit. Should have left them out, though, for posting here.

ussinners: the reason it's a gun is that it was a gun. There's a video of Margaret Hassan being murdered and they used a gun.

Cheers!

-Charles
 
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Adeimantus said:
KrossCut, thanks for the advice. It's good advice. I was writing it with the thought of possibly shooting it myself, however, so the "cut to's" etc., were markers for my own benefit. Should have left them out, though, for posting here.

ussinners: the reason it's a gun is that it was a gun. There's a video of Margaret Hassan being murdered and they used a gun.

Cheers!

-Charles
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Sorry. I didn't read far enough on wikipedia. That wasn't her that was found with her arms and legs cut off and throat slit. But, all the videos I've seen they use knifes.
 
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haha i saw the vid that ussinners is talking about. the neo-nazi's in russia right? it's more than intense.. it was plain hard to watch.

as for the short- it was well written, as said, and the details were nice, but there didn't seem to be a point. what is the purpose of this piece? i don't think that all shorts necessarily have to have a driving point, but this one does, given the style of it. it wouldn't be hard to give it a metaphor or some symbolism
 
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By the way, to echo Papertwin, I would be delighted to produce and/or direct one of your shorts, with you on the set. At the time being, I'm more into doing light/funny stuff, so this particular one wouldn't be for me, but I know you also do excellent work with comedy. And a plane ticket to/from Richmond/Lansing shouldn't be too much if we plan it in advance. Could be cheap enough that we could split the minimal costs and make a fun weekend of it.
 
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kgasser2 said:
haha i saw the vid that ussinners is talking about. the neo-nazi's in russia right? it's more than intense.. it was plain hard to watch.

as for the short- it was well written, as said, and the details were nice, but there didn't seem to be a point. what is the purpose of this piece? i don't think that all shorts necessarily have to have a driving point, but this one does, given the style of it. it wouldn't be hard to give it a metaphor or some symbolism
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That's the "dnepropetrovsk maniacs" video. I firmly believe that one to be fake. If you see the courtroom and police station video it just looks awful. It might be real, but it looks really cheap and cheesy.

The two beheadings were from Iraq. The very first American beheaded made the net. The freaky thing about that one was they shot it from a few different angles. Let's not forget Saddam being hung. That was something.

The worst I've ever seen was R Budd Dwyer. This guy killed himself at a news conference. So the whole thing was caught on camera. He shoots himself in the mouth and slides down a wall. So, he's left in a sitting position against the wall. The camera gets a CU of his face and it looks normal for a second or two. Then blood gushes out his nose. They played that on a late night public access show in NYC, and it was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. It was like a blood faucet turned on high.
 
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Cracker Funk said:
R Budd Dwyer had a family. This is a very inappropriate conversation. It does not belong in this thread, or anywhere on this forum.
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I guess Saddam, and the people beheaded don't have families. Or do you just pick and choose what is inappropriate discussion?

I do believe this short has something to do with death. Death that is usually taped and broadcast, whether intentional or not. You should read the wikipedia page about Dwyer, the news ran parts of the footage that afternoon for all to see. Call them and bitch.
 
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