What are some dos and don'ts for writing a non-nude love scene?
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Advice for Writing Love Scenes
- Thread starter serioushat
- Start date
What kind of question is that?
Have you seen movies?
What kind of characters are these? What's the story about? What's going on? What's the reason for the scene?
Have you seen movies?
What kind of characters are these? What's the story about? What's going on? What's the reason for the scene?
Love and Sex in the Screenplay
This is a very openended question. As such, my suggestions will also seem pretty general.
The actors and director will determine the final realization. So for the writer, the important elements are providing the context (spur of the moment? delayed realization? etc.), the intensity of the passion (one night fling? last love before departure? etc.), and location (shower? beach? bed? etc.).
At times it's important for the flow of the story to regulate pacing.
SCHMALZY ALERT !
Now it may seem like I violated the rule of telling the actor how to act. It is a fine line, however, the script is a blueprint. How is the actor supposed to understand the intensity if I can't show him. Saying "he cares tenderly for her" is true but it doesn't visually show what that means. When I mention don't dictate the action, I really mean, it's not important to give the blow-by-blow action [sorry, no sexual innuendo implied].
If the action is key to the filming sequence, then break it out.
Love, Infatuation, and Sex are very different emotional states with different end results. It's important to keep the end in mind. These are distinctions that women often pick up on more so then men. So if you are a male writer like I am, it is always good to have a female read the scene to get their impressions. More so for 'high drama'. My wife is often more keen to this than I am. Unless you are prepared to step into a strange emotional world as a male writer, it is often safe to have a competent guide (i.e., female). And not to be impolitic, writing gay love/sex scenes can be equally challenging or more so.
Whether it is a gay or lesbian relationship, a simple heterosexual crossover doesn't work. I have been told this by gay friends who are critical of portrayals in media by heterosexuals writing about gay romance. While 'Brokeback Mountain' was a pivotal movie, I've been told the treatment of their relationship was rather flat. If the writer's concept is that a gay man lisps, has a high voice, and acts effeminately, already the writer is way off base and should not write on the subject. One partner is not "the woman" and the other "the man". The gay/lesbian relationship is more fluid and complex than that.
A last note. Fetish lifestyles. I'm not talking about writing for porn flicks here. If you do write noir or crime fiction, however, you do run across the seedier sides of lust. If you tackle this area, realize that it can run a continuum. Most couples will experiment with bondage play. It has even become a bit more mainstream in both TV and 'family friendly' movies. The hardcore fetish play--diapers, leather, breath control, rubber, etc.--that's a different beast. If you need to include it, treat it carefully if you want an R rating. It should be integral to the story though portrayed through small instances. Censorship is alive and strong. Like gore/blood/torture in movies (Hostel, Saw, etc.), it attracts a very different audience. In a rather poor movie, 'Jill the Ripper' starring Dolph Lundgren, we get a gratuitous introduction to BDSM in a questionable R-rated movie. The question of whether this is a 'love scene' is a delicate one.
Some fetishists will argue yes. This is how they give and receive love. Arguably, if it releases the same brain chemicals (dopamine, endorphins and PEA) as "vanilla love", then are they different academically? In the exotic world of Gor and other sci-fi realms where sexual slavery is common, to treat it only as physical abuse would be a mistake. It is more like the "Stockholm Syndrome" where the captives come to love and protect their captors. On the otherhand, physical abuse and pain is not what most people view as 'normal love'. "Nine and a Half Weeks" powerfully walks this line.
This is probably more than you wanted and less direct to the "Do's and Don'ts" that you asked about. As the stories of life are a rich tapestry of actions and emotions, the best guidance is starting off, write from your own personal experience. What is it like to hold, touch, and kiss your partner? What arouses you--their appearance, smell? What drives you crazy when they are near or absent?
Writing sex/love scenes is probably the most intimate thing the screenwriter has to put to paper and it exposes his/her deepest desires and fantasies. The director and actors then transform that into their personal experiences on the screen.
This is a very openended question. As such, my suggestions will also seem pretty general.
The actors and director will determine the final realization. So for the writer, the important elements are providing the context (spur of the moment? delayed realization? etc.), the intensity of the passion (one night fling? last love before departure? etc.), and location (shower? beach? bed? etc.).
At times it's important for the flow of the story to regulate pacing.
SCHMALZY ALERT !
Code:
Mandy looked at Tom as he gathered his keys with reluctance. He pauses staring
down at them.
He turns back to her.
TOM
You could come with me. It is only a short ...
Mandy sits up in bed, pulling the blanket about her.
MANDY
That can't happen. We both know that.
She holds out her hand, and he strides over and sits beside her.
MANDY
I'll be here when you get back from Paris.
Tom reaches out and pulls her lips to his. They linger then part hesitantly.
TOM
Paris isn't so far away.
She smiles as his sits back, his hand lingering on her cheek before falling away as
he stands.
etc.Now it may seem like I violated the rule of telling the actor how to act. It is a fine line, however, the script is a blueprint. How is the actor supposed to understand the intensity if I can't show him. Saying "he cares tenderly for her" is true but it doesn't visually show what that means. When I mention don't dictate the action, I really mean, it's not important to give the blow-by-blow action [sorry, no sexual innuendo implied].
If the action is key to the filming sequence, then break it out.
Code:
INT. STEVE'S CAR, BACKSEAT - NIGHT
Steve and Rhonda are twisting hot and heavy in the back seat with lips and
tongues gone wild.
Steve's hand is working to lift Rhonda's pink sweater. He works it off her
revealing her lacy bra.
Rhonda's hand is working to unfasten Steve's belt.
GRUNTING OUTSIDE THE CAR.
Rhonda's movements stop. Steve's persist as he starts to pull up his shirt.
RHONDA
Did you hear that?
STEVE
What? It's nothing, baby.
He strips off his shirt. He leans in and begins kissing deeply around her neck.
TWIG SNAPS.
RHONDA
Steve!
He sits back and sighs with deep frustration. He stares at her and bites his lip.
STEVE
Okay! Okay. I'll check it out.
Another deep breath and he twists about to prepare to exit.
etc.Love, Infatuation, and Sex are very different emotional states with different end results. It's important to keep the end in mind. These are distinctions that women often pick up on more so then men. So if you are a male writer like I am, it is always good to have a female read the scene to get their impressions. More so for 'high drama'. My wife is often more keen to this than I am. Unless you are prepared to step into a strange emotional world as a male writer, it is often safe to have a competent guide (i.e., female). And not to be impolitic, writing gay love/sex scenes can be equally challenging or more so.
Whether it is a gay or lesbian relationship, a simple heterosexual crossover doesn't work. I have been told this by gay friends who are critical of portrayals in media by heterosexuals writing about gay romance. While 'Brokeback Mountain' was a pivotal movie, I've been told the treatment of their relationship was rather flat. If the writer's concept is that a gay man lisps, has a high voice, and acts effeminately, already the writer is way off base and should not write on the subject. One partner is not "the woman" and the other "the man". The gay/lesbian relationship is more fluid and complex than that.
A last note. Fetish lifestyles. I'm not talking about writing for porn flicks here. If you do write noir or crime fiction, however, you do run across the seedier sides of lust. If you tackle this area, realize that it can run a continuum. Most couples will experiment with bondage play. It has even become a bit more mainstream in both TV and 'family friendly' movies. The hardcore fetish play--diapers, leather, breath control, rubber, etc.--that's a different beast. If you need to include it, treat it carefully if you want an R rating. It should be integral to the story though portrayed through small instances. Censorship is alive and strong. Like gore/blood/torture in movies (Hostel, Saw, etc.), it attracts a very different audience. In a rather poor movie, 'Jill the Ripper' starring Dolph Lundgren, we get a gratuitous introduction to BDSM in a questionable R-rated movie. The question of whether this is a 'love scene' is a delicate one.
Some fetishists will argue yes. This is how they give and receive love. Arguably, if it releases the same brain chemicals (dopamine, endorphins and PEA) as "vanilla love", then are they different academically? In the exotic world of Gor and other sci-fi realms where sexual slavery is common, to treat it only as physical abuse would be a mistake. It is more like the "Stockholm Syndrome" where the captives come to love and protect their captors. On the otherhand, physical abuse and pain is not what most people view as 'normal love'. "Nine and a Half Weeks" powerfully walks this line.
This is probably more than you wanted and less direct to the "Do's and Don'ts" that you asked about. As the stories of life are a rich tapestry of actions and emotions, the best guidance is starting off, write from your own personal experience. What is it like to hold, touch, and kiss your partner? What arouses you--their appearance, smell? What drives you crazy when they are near or absent?
Writing sex/love scenes is probably the most intimate thing the screenwriter has to put to paper and it exposes his/her deepest desires and fantasies. The director and actors then transform that into their personal experiences on the screen.
Thanks for a great post, FantasySciFi. I know I could learn from it.
Serioushat, I understand that you're asking from a writer's standpoint, not from, as FantasySciFi pointed out, the actors' or the director's [or the editor's] who will ultimately decide what actually gets filmed or in the final cut. Still, one thing that's stuck in my mind is something I skimmed from one of the writing mags not so long ago:
Nowadays, it is unwise to put explicit love or sex scenes in a film. "Don't do it," the article said. Darn, I thought it was the one I purchased, but I guess not, so I can't reference it or the article's author.
Anyhoo. The reason its author gave was that nowadays people have at their fingertips loads and loads of the most explicit sexual material on the net. They're just not going to be moved or perhaps even very patient for it in a feature film, say. A couple or a few decades ago, before the internet, yeah, they might have been titilated or thrilled by it. Now? Not so much. Avoid it...the author wrote.
Of course that's his or her opinion. I'm not saying it's correct or incorrect. But I do think it's interesting food for thought. But naturally, it would depend on your tastes, your audience, perhaps your financiers' tastes, or what you're trying to accomplish.
Serioushat, I understand that you're asking from a writer's standpoint, not from, as FantasySciFi pointed out, the actors' or the director's [or the editor's] who will ultimately decide what actually gets filmed or in the final cut. Still, one thing that's stuck in my mind is something I skimmed from one of the writing mags not so long ago:
Nowadays, it is unwise to put explicit love or sex scenes in a film. "Don't do it," the article said. Darn, I thought it was the one I purchased, but I guess not, so I can't reference it or the article's author.
Anyhoo. The reason its author gave was that nowadays people have at their fingertips loads and loads of the most explicit sexual material on the net. They're just not going to be moved or perhaps even very patient for it in a feature film, say. A couple or a few decades ago, before the internet, yeah, they might have been titilated or thrilled by it. Now? Not so much. Avoid it...the author wrote.
Of course that's his or her opinion. I'm not saying it's correct or incorrect. But I do think it's interesting food for thought. But naturally, it would depend on your tastes, your audience, perhaps your financiers' tastes, or what you're trying to accomplish.
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Thanks for a great post, FantasySciFi. I know I could learn from it.
Serioushat, I understand that you're asking from a writer's standpoint, not from, as FantasySciFi pointed out, the actors' or the director's [or the editor's] who will ultimately decide what actually gets filmed or in the final cut. Still, one thing that's stuck in my mind is something I skimmed from one of the writing mags not so long ago:
Nowadays, it is unwise to put explicit love or sex scenes in a film. "Don't do it," the article said. Darn, I thought it was the one I purchased, but I guess not, so I can't reference it or the article's author.
Anyhoo. The reason its author gave was that nowadays people have at their fingertips loads and loads of the most explicit sexual material on the net. They're just not going to be moved or perhaps even very patient for it in a feature film, say. A couple or a few decades ago, before the internet, yeah, they might have been titilated or thrilled by it. Now? Not so much. Avoid it...the author wrote.
Of course that's his or her opinion. I'm not saying it's correct or incorrect. But I do think it's interesting food for thought. But naturally, it would depend on your tastes, your audience, perhaps your financiers' tastes, or what you're trying to accomplish.
That kinda opens up a whole other question doesn't it? People are becoming increasingly desensitised to things like sex, violence and swearing, things often used to emphasise the emotion of a scene, so to have that same effect, does it all need to be amplified? Or is it just boring now? If film makers can no longer use such devices, how do they make the same impact? Hmm. I dunno about you guys, but I find that interesting.
I would have to disagree with the article's writer. Love and sex are different things. Seriously. Watching a couple hold hands while strolling through the park is love, seeing the blanket bounce up and down in bed is sex. Romance movies still remain popular. HBO and Showtime revel in barely concealed sex. As was discovered long ago by marketing, sex sells.
Emotions that the audience can relate to is what creates depth and empathy for the characters. My reading of SeriousHat's question is how do I make it relevant. Just throwing in skin to attract the audience will continue to have a short term draw. I'm sorry, most men will still pause to admire beauty while flipping through channels. There was a reason for Baywatch's continued success.
I can't imagine writing a screenplay where men and women had only cursory interactions. It would be very shallow and dry (not to mention boring). Again, by "explicit", I think the mag author was suggesting porn. But a good "sex scene" should lead up to the arousal, then allow the audience to imagine/project their own feelings without explicitly showing them sex, and bring closure to the experience. It starts the rollercoaster and ends the rollercoaster without following the whole track in between. (Porn will take you the whole course)
In TV, it's primarily a time issue--50-55 minutes is not a lot of time. I've seen some rather torrid love scenes; one on a show ("Legend of the Seeker") that is targeted at a largely teen audience. However, United States TV is rather prudish. American soaps are constantly having people hop in and out of bed. Ironically, more 'sex' happens in the evening when the kids are home than during the daytime when most kids are in school.
The sci-fi series Torchwood was a shortlived by well-done production that presented some tender romantic moments, both straight and gay. One American soap broached the romantic side of two gay leads also for a short time (As the World Turns). Unfortunately, the fine distinction between love/tenderness and sex eludes most critics who would prefer to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
SOAPBOX ALERT !!!
The shame is that movies and TV can be powerful influencers in a positive way. We can show that relationships can be loving and caring both with and without sex. Men can have close friends ("blood brothers") who they care about without it involving sex. Anyone who has been in a combat situation can appreciate the trust and devotion that camaraderie develops. Instead we flood the airwaves with Law & Order: Sex Crimes and other shows which document all the ways people can interact without caring. And people find it fun to tune in and watch the cat-fights on reality TV (also scripted so you know). "That b***h better not come 'round my man ..." In primetime, so that's what our kids and teens learn is 'normal'. That, I feel, is the true travesty.
OFF SOAPBOX
So, yeah, just to spite the stupid critics, write explicit, tender love scenes where men and women actually hold each other, are gentle to each other, and want to be together. If they share some sexual moments, oops, please be discreet!
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Me too.
I'm not sure, but I think that's more or less what the article meant to say, too. It's my fault for not effectively articulating the gist of the writer's intent. I think he/she agrees with you that you want to avoid anything "pornographic"...but not necessarily cutting out sex altogether.
Lol make sure your actors know how to keep it PROFESSIONAL!!! Thats your only sign to look for.
Ok, so I'm just gonna hijack this thread rather than make a new one.
I'm writing a screenplay at the moment and it has a sex scene. I've never actually written a 'sex scene' before and I'm not sure what level of detail to go into. It's a scene which is almost entirely without dialogue, but I want a relative precision to the way the dialogue is described.
So I don't want to just say 'They kiss in the bathroom and then go through to the bedroom where they have sex', because that could be presented in millions of different ways.
This is what I've written the scene as. I'm keen to get feedback on whether or not it's too prescriptive, too explicit or, perhaps, too euphemistic. Should I just be straight up ('he orgasms')? Or should I be less straight up ('they make love until he's all hot and bothered')?
What d'you think?
Thanks!
I'm writing a screenplay at the moment and it has a sex scene. I've never actually written a 'sex scene' before and I'm not sure what level of detail to go into. It's a scene which is almost entirely without dialogue, but I want a relative precision to the way the dialogue is described.
So I don't want to just say 'They kiss in the bathroom and then go through to the bedroom where they have sex', because that could be presented in millions of different ways.
This is what I've written the scene as. I'm keen to get feedback on whether or not it's too prescriptive, too explicit or, perhaps, too euphemistic. Should I just be straight up ('he orgasms')? Or should I be less straight up ('they make love until he's all hot and bothered')?
Code:
INT. BATHROOM, MORNING
Justin stands in front of the mirror, inspecting himself.
He runs his finger down the scar above his left eye and
winces slightly.
He walks over to the shower and turns the tap on, feeling
the cold water.
He closes the door and allows it to run.
He takes his t-shirt off and throws it on the floor,
standing topless in front of the mirror whilst resting his
hands on the sink.
He cannot take his eyes off his own face.
Wordlessly, the door opens behind him and Katie steps in.
Justin sees her in the mirror but does not move a muscle.
She walks up behind him and places her arms over his
shoulders, holding his chest and drawing herself in closer.
She kisses his neck, adoringly, and he closes his eyes.
When he opens them, he turns round and in one motion brings
her in closer to him, kissing her on the mouth and pushing
her backwards out the door.
They stumble back against the far wall of the corridor and
Justin pulls her top off over her head. When it gets stuck,
she assists him.
Both unbuttoning one another’s trousers, they walk backwards
down the hall towards Katie’s bedroom.
Katie turns to twist the handle and open the door and Justin
holds her from behind, kissing the back of her neck and
unhooking her bra.
They both step into her room and slam the door behind them.
In a second, both their trousers are off and Justin pushes
Katie backwards onto her bed.
He climbs on top of her, still kissing her and pushing her
hair out of her eyes.
Their faces remain close together and their breathing
becomes in time as Justin thrusts, relatively tenderly, into
her.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 48.
Their fumbling grows more frantic and Justin’s grip on
Katie’s shoulder becomes vicelike.
He finishes, and they both lie there, eyes closed and
panting, until Justin lifts himself off her slightly.
Katie pulls him back with her hand, bringing his face to
hers.
KATIE
I love you.
JUSTIN
I love you too.
KATIE
Don’t let him send you away again.
Justin does not reply, but kisses her on the mouth and then
the side of her face.What d'you think?
Thanks!
It reads just fine to me. I get the feeling you're not going for anything too explicit. It seems to be quite tender; "making love" as apposed to just "having sex". Of that's the intention, it works well.
As far as the "finish" is concerned, personally I'd avoid "orgasm". Not sure why.. I prefer "climax"...
It reads well though!
As far as the "finish" is concerned, personally I'd avoid "orgasm". Not sure why.. I prefer "climax"...
It reads well though!
Thanks, sir, that's reassuring. Just wanted to make sure that it wasn't being either over or under detailed.
I'm not qualified to offer anything like a I loved-I liked-I'd change sort of critique. Wish I were. But I liked it. And it seems to me that the "He finishes" is an excellant way (if unromantic) to describe it succinctly while avoiding those other words you might want to avoid or that maybe we're expected to avoid.
Oh, and a lighter or facetious note, at least that is how this is intended, in today's world, there's liable to be a host of viewers who are going to be pissed that he left the shower or tap running like that. You or the would-be filmmakers are liable to get hit with angry letters, emails, tweets, or whatever the kids are sending these days. Personally, I like it well enough, and it probably adds to the dramatic tension or mood nicely. =)
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Who is your target audience?
What rating do you expect to get; PG, PG-13, R...?
IMO, love scenes are rarely needed in stories. There's so many other ways to drive your story forward. There are "implied" love scenes where we see two people kissing and then there's a FADE TO BLACK: which is really enough to get the point across that the characters are moving forward in a romantic relationship.
I would not add a Love Scene unless it was absolutely critical to the storyline.
What rating do you expect to get; PG, PG-13, R...?
IMO, love scenes are rarely needed in stories. There's so many other ways to drive your story forward. There are "implied" love scenes where we see two people kissing and then there's a FADE TO BLACK: which is really enough to get the point across that the characters are moving forward in a romantic relationship.
I would not add a Love Scene unless it was absolutely critical to the storyline.