A script of mine got proofread and here's what the reader said.

[harmonica44]

She said she liked the ending, and it ends the opposite of how most action movies do. She said one thing she noticed was that how in some of the action scenarios, the characters have to throw logic out the window, just so the action sequence can happen, the way you want. She said that that's okay, though, and that most thrillers are required to do that. Is that good? Other movies have done that though for sure, not that I blame them, depending.

 

[DirtyPicturesTV]

Yay! I've handed off the baton to rayw.

Let me know when you get tired, ray. We'll bring in Murdock to close.

 

[rayw]

Yay! I've handed off the baton to rayw.

Let me know when you get tired, ray. We'll bring in Murdock to close.

And Ray stops running after he passes it right back to 'Monica!
If he drops it now - Oh, welllllllllll!


Put a fork in me.
I'm done.

Someone gimme a bowl of water. I'm washing my hands before going to the Colosseum.
I hear they have a fresh batch of Christians and lions.
I got a hundred denarii on the lions, as usual.

 

[harmonica44]

Okay thanks I read some of those. How do I write that an action scene of mine that takes place in a container terminal? There are different characters in different parts of the terminal, and the scenes switch back and forth between all of them. So if I put EXT. CONTAINER TERMINAL, every time the scene switches within different parts of the terminal, it will become confusing.

 

[harmonica44]

I started writing some action scenes in my new script, and they are twice as long as they should be, and hope the script does not go over 110 pages from the double spacing. Why is it that script readers prefer double spacing, when they know that the script is probably going to be a short movie, possibly too short therefore?

 

[harmonica44]

To "whom" are you going to sell or pitch this script?
You're shooting this yourself.
Since it's for yourself you can use crayon if you want.
Industry standard spec formatting only applies if you want professionals, producers and investors to not politely say "No thank you".

If you're writing to sell, then:
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=182344#post182344
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=179730#post179730
http://www.indietalk.com/showthread.php?p=186753#post186753

There's some good format resources on that second link.
My fave: http://www.scribd.com/doc/12721428/Professional-Screenplay-Formatting-Guide
There's some good poop on that one.

I read that link you gave me as an example:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/12721428/Professional-Screenplay-Formatting-Guide

and you told me not to use characters names as sluglines but your example you gave me in that link, does it:

"in grapple, each trying to get the best of the other one,...

When The Housewife headbutts The Bride in the nose

THE HOUSEWIFE

hops off The Bride, runs into the kitchen, opens a drawer
and comes out with a huge butcher knife.

THE BRIDE

rises from the floor, and whips out a knife in a sheath
hanging from her belt.

The Bride backs up into the mess of the now totally
demolished living room."

 

[Murdock]

Oh my god.


Dude just down load celtix. ITS FREE!! There is a button for each type of slug line. You push it, type your slug line. Then hit enter and type whatever comes next. It will space it, cramb it, stick it, stuff it, fluff it. Whatever the f*** you want.

You've made me break my vow. There is a Kalvin and Hobbes quote I'm going to find for you.

 

[harmonica44]

lol ok. I already have screenwriting software, Movie Magic Screenwriter.


Tyler backs up and Morrison comes at him and shoves him against the wall, as he tries to take it.

Tyler grabs his hand and throws him off --

Morrison comes back and Tyler punches him as Morrison grabs him and takes his gun out --

Tyler grabs it and wrestles it out of his hand as Morrison fires it --

How's that for action? Not just the spacing but the wording as well?

 

[DirtyPicturesTV]

Movie Magic -- awesome! I love MM, but felt forced to switch to Final Draft years back because that's what most people use. Too bad, because MM crushes Final Draft in terms of insanely detailed functionality and tweaks.

 

[harmonica44]

Yep. So I started double spacing the sentences in the action in my new script and I now have 21 pages so far, when I only was expecting to have like 12. How do you know that you enough material for a whole movie, if the action scenes are going to take up a lot of space before your done?

 

[SiCurious]

1 page of screenplay = 1 minute of screen time.

Try to write your action scenes so that one minute of action fits on a single page. Concise descriptions and double-spaced lines are the way to achieve this.

If you get stuck, or you don't think there is enough action on one page to fill one minute of screen time, try acting it out yourself, timing it. If the action on one page takes considerably less than a minute, edit the hell out of it. Chop out lines of superfluous description, you don't need to catalogue every single punch or gesture.

How do you know that you enough material for a whole movie

For a feature, 90-120 minutes if what you're going for, which means 90 to 120 pages of screenplay. I'm sure it has been mentioned elsewhere.

 

[harmonica44]

Okay thanks. I know it has to be 90-120 pages. It's just my script that got proofread, the action was single spaced and came out to be 117 pages. So I don't know how long that would be on film if I put in too much action and plot, but I will edit down what dialogue I can, and reword some of the action scenes. It's going to be a lot to edit down though, and I still want it to make sense.

 

[DirtyPicturesTV]

Re: the script you were bitching about that used characters as "sluglines."

Firstly, it's effing Tarantino, and he writes whatever the hell he wants because he's going to shoot it himself.

Secondly, those aren't sluglines, but shots. He's basically using shorthand for ANGLE ON THE BRIDE. Which, by the way, I don't recommend for a script you're going to sell. It adds too much space, and looks too much like you're directing on paper. Stick to double-spaced action lines.

 

[harmonica44]

Okay sounds good, but here's what I don't get. What if I wanna cut to different parts of a building during the action scene, or different parts of a setting? Like I wrote an action scene in a container terminal for example. What if the action shifts from a character who is in one part of the terminal, to a character who is in another part, like 200 feet away, and is hidden by several containers? Do I just treat them like they are in the same scene, even though they cannot come into contact with each other and not see each other?\

What about a car chase that intercuts between several cars in different parts of the city, that are communicating with radios to each other? Do I just not use any sluglines to change scenes, even though it's intercutting to different areas?

 

[Jamster]

H, providing you've foreshadowed the cop 'blow up' - most will except a stretch of 'reality'.

If you want anymore feedback you can send me the particular scene.

All the best, Jim.

 

[harmonica44]

Okay thanks, but it would be hard to understand the particular scene, without knowing what has happened several scenes before it. Especially since twists and turns happened in that scene, which will need a lot of clarification.