Hi Guys,
I apologise in advance if this is a long post, but I feel I need to get it out of my head and start working through things. Since I joined IndieTalk it has always been a great resource of wisdom and knowledge and I feel I have related to it a lot as many people on here are in the same position as myself.... At this particular point in my life I definitely needed some guidance from people who know the industry well or have been in the same position.
This will be honest and to the core
So here goes...
Basically a bit about where I am at right now.... I used to freelance in music, organising tours for unsigned bands and doing PR for them, in 2009 I decided I didn't enjoy it anymore, I was spending way too much of my own money and it wasn't a good career choice, it was more of a lifestyle. In late 2009 I wanted to get into film, it was something I had always loved but was always seen as a dream of some sorts. However a local band posted on an online forum that were looking for someone to produce a live video for them and they were performing on friday night (the day I read this was a wednesday) I emailed the band and they said I could film it for them, problem was I didnt have a camera. I quickly headed t the local Jessops Camera store and bought a £599 Sony HD handy cam, I was very excited about filming in HD for the first time. I shot the video and edited on iMovie. The band liked the video, although looking back it was awful! haha
I enjoyed the whole process and I done the video for free of course.
After this I decided maybe this was a path I could choose and thought about ways to make a bit of money from it, straight away I thought about filming weddings and put a status on facebook asking if anyone was getting married in the near future, to my suprise I got sent a couples details through a friend on Facebook and they were getting married in October of 2009. Again I done this job for free, i thought it would be a good way to get a showreel up online, then make big bucks the next year booking loads of wedding filming. Before the wedding I thought I need to look professional so I hired a big sony HD shoulder cam from a hire company in the UK, i think it cost me about £100 for the weekend. I shot the wedding, and realised how many problems there was potentially going to be filming weddings, although I loved filming the wedding day and enjoy the romanticism of filming it and editing it to music, there were so many stressful moments on the day, it kind of put me off doing them. And doing it for free but hiring a camera I had already started dipping into my own pocket.
In the early part of 2010, I shot a guerilla style music video for a local band who approached me, I said I could do it for £50, they agreed, I was so happy someone was actually paying me to film! We shot in one day with them playing and singing in various places in Cambridge, this was shot on my Sony handy cam.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYzX9Xe0TFE
(this is the video)
I loved filming in the day and felt like a proper cameraman, I did feel I wasn't very good at directing people and felt a bit uncomfortable with it.
After this another local band whom I used to work with in my music days, were playing at the biggest venue in Cambridge, so I approached them about shooting a live video for them as I thought it would look great on a showreel to be filming in a massive live venue.
Once again I done this video for free as they were good mates and thought I would benefit anyway from having the footage to use. I headed to the venue with my Handycam again and shot the music video whilst they played their 30 minute set.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6_jGtHINh8
In the spring of 2010 I got an email from a guy who runs the venue where I shot the above video whom also works on the local council and organises "The Cambridge Folk Festival" one of the most renowned festivals in Europe. He said they were looking for someone to come and film a the festival and produce a short promo video to go on their website he said he was impressed with my last video, he said he could pay me £100, I jumped at the chance and once again thought this is my dream filming at a music festival and getting paid!
When summer of 2010 came around and the festival was upon me, I once again felt I needed to look professional, so hired a Sony V1E HD camera and bought some mini DV tapes. This set me back around £200 so already that £100 I was getting paid got swallowed up. And I was down on money again.
They loved the video and it was put on their website.
For the rest of 2010 I didn't film much mostly down to laziness, I done a few free shoots for local bands etc mainly live promo's again, did I miss an opportunity to strike while the iron was hot?Should I have pushed my video work more, I didn't have a website or anything with my videos on, I was just using Youtube.
At this point I must point out I was working for my father full time in his painting and decorating company, earning a full time wage and was still living at home not paying any rent. I had a car loan and was living the life of a mid 20 year old.
At the end of 2010 I was paid by the council for the festival promo and suddenly thought I didnt want to get caught out by the Tax man so looked into what I needed to do and that was to register as self employed as well as register as being employed by my dad full time still. I spoke to my dads accountant who set me all up and ABSOLUTION FILMS was born.... in name at least.
In my mind I thought this was it, I was going to make it as a professional videographer and by next year be earning 10's of thousands of pounds easily. I now had my own company! People would take me seriously and the work would come flowing in.
It didn't, basically because I was lazy and didn't even send out emails etc I thought now I had a company name and a basic website site, people would just find me.
In feb of 2011 the council got in touch with me again and said they would like me to film the Folk Festival again and also film another Event in the summer. The other event I had to produce a promo film and the festival they wanted me to film a daily video cast. They could pay me £300 for both! Wow my money was going up! This was getting serious.
For the summer event I needed to look professional again... guess what I did?? Yep I hired the V1E again another £170 gone, and for the festival I did the same plus some other things £170 again. No money made again. This was not making business sense.
They loved both videos however!
Later in 2011 I also filmed a local wrestling show and was going to produce DVD's of the show to sell online and at future events... I got some mates to help me film and I hired two Sony A1E's slightly cheaper than the V1E but still setting me back around £200. I filmed the event, spent many many hours now on Final Cut Express editing and finally got the DVD's ready to sell at another wrestling show! I was convinced they would sell like hotcakes and I would rake in the money.... I sold 5 I think at £6. That didn't even cover my printing costs!! I quickly determined this wasn't a viable business, I decided not to do it again.
In late 2011 I was asked to film some vox pops for a classical music live show. £100 was the deal, brilliant I thought there are still jobs coming in.
By the end of 2011 I was feeling so depressed in my day job as a painter and decorator and so desperately wanted to work full time in film, but something was stopping me getting out and meeting people and networking.... A a person I can sit and chat to anyone, I'm socially easy going, but selling myself to someone or a group of people and i can't.
I definitely have low self esteem, every time before a film a project the idea in my head is great but when its all said and don't I feel nothing but disappointed.
Some other events that happened in 2011 personally were quite life changing, in the May I found out I was going to be a dad, something that came as an utter surprise as my partner was told she couldn't have babies. We werent even living together so, with me already being in debt from Car loans and various other purchases we decided to buy a house! Luckily my partner had a lot of money saved and we got help from her family, In october 2011 we moved into our first home.
This felt like a new start and living on my own for the first time I also felt a sense of 2012 being a great year and my video business would pick up, I would try harder to get work and by the end of 2012 I would be working full time in film.
Alongside the work I have done, I have also been very interested in narrative film and documentaries and join a local film making group in 2011 to try and work on some narrative stuff, but I always felt other filming would be where I would get my money in.
2012 come around and this was going to be the year, It was going to happen... from Jan - Feb I done one small job for the local council filming a dance event £100.
In late Feb my gorgeous son was born! It gave me a new outlook on life, I looked back on the last 2 years and felt like I had really failed at what I wanted to do, I had been lazy and complacent and not pushed at anything.
I love my partner more than anything and I love her for the simple fact she will tell me how it is, she told me I have got to stop treating the film work like a hobby and stop charging ridiculously low prices. My time is worth something and i'm good at what I do, sometimes I doubt my own abilities.
This got me thinking and with the birth of my son, I wanted to do better for him and for my new family. At this point we got a 15 month interest free credit card, I decided I needed to start taking things more seriously so used the credit card to buy a new camera, My handycam was decent quality but had no manual functions, everywhere I read said you needed to go manual to get anything decent image wise... i researched and researched and bought a canon 600D for £619 pounds. I also bought a bag for it and another lens 50-20mm IS II (£200).
I thought If i really push my work this year I can easily pay that off. My risk was rewarded a local language school in cambridge got in touch 2 weeks after my son was born, they wanted me to film a promo video for their school... they also asked if I did photos as they wanted to update their website and brochures, they just wanted simple photographs and so I said yes! I thought now I have my DSLR I could easily do photos as well, how hard could it be? They asked how much I charged and I remember speaking a to a producer a while before who said she works for no less than £250 a day, I thought I would push my luck and say I could do the job for £250 a day and it would take 4 days in total to do, thats 2 days filming/photos and 2 days editing.... hurrah this is easy.
I started researching online about photography and decided i needed to get a flash gun, I had to look professional so i needed a good one, i used the credit card to buy a £220 Canon Speedlight.
I will keep this brief the job did not take 4 days and infact i didnt get the job finished until the summer, it took almost four months, obviously i didnt work full time on it for 4 months but had various days off unpaid from my full time job to go film for the school or take pics.... £1000 was no way near enough.
However they were very happy with the promo video and the pics. I just didnt judge my time properly and that cost me.
In this period I also got asked to do a film for Hewlett Packard on a Cancer awareness programme they were launching, it was a days shoot plus editing, again i thought this wont take long and quoted around £400, like I was quickly learning that price was no way near enough, put simply I didnt estimate my time properly.
The reason I was taking every piece of work on and charging prices off the top of my head, I just couldn't afford to turn the work down, having a child, a new house and trying to pay off debts, meant I had to take on every piece of work I could.
Anyway all this work would really help my showreel right?? The more work I done and took on the more work would come my way surely?? Nope!
Again in the summer I was asked again to shoot another promo for the summer event and again do the videocasts for the festival, due to my hard work and them being happy with the videos last year, they up the budget by a few hundred pound.
My partner said I was still charging too little and knew the jobs would take much longer than I anticipated.
With the work I had already done and the future work in the summer, I thought this year I dont have to hire a camera so I decided to buy a Konig Tripod with a fluid head and previously I had been using a photo tripod that was way too jerky. In the months from feb to july I spent a lot of money on little bits of equipment I thought I needed. ND filters, UV Filters, Lights (£110).
All the money I earned from the few jobs I done had been swallowed up, where had it gone? I was still in debt and things were not as rosy as I thought they would be.
My mind was getting mashed with thoughts of is this all really worth it, where have I gone wrong? Why aren't I earning thousands doing this by now, why do i see others just getting jobs easily and doing it full time.
The end of 2012 was quiet work wise and not much money was coming in. I felt throughly depressed, but 2013 was on its way and a new year a new start.
Just some quick other things from 2012, as it was the olympics year in the UK, as part of the summer event I was asked to film, I got asked to film some of the Olympic Torch Relay, I thought this would be great and would look great on a CV, I would definitely get more jobs from just being able to film such a prestigious event. Have I used that to my advantage? probably not.
In 2012 I also came across timelapse photography and film, I fell in love with it, it just blew me away and I was obsessed with it. In 2012 as well I singed up for twitter and started following lots of film makers on there hoping to meet new people (something I quickly realised is that everyone wants to meet phillip bloom and vincent laforet, they don't care about little old me and have no time for me). I wanted to get into timelapse more but I literally didnt have time and life in 2012 passed me by.
So here we are in 2013 nearly half way through.... at the start of the year my dad said he would be retiring at the end of the year and closing the business, it was a wake up call and made me think, its now or never film wise, by the end of 2013 i need to be earning a decent full time income from film or I can forget it.
I spoke with my dad and said I would like mondays off of his work to concentrate on film things. I never realised how taking one day off a week really hits your income! With my partner back at work but only part time and still lots of bills to pay and debts that I accrued last year buying equipment, money has been very tight these first few months, I feel im stuck in a hole, that i see no way out of.
Having mondays off has been good it has allowed me to have more evenings and weekends free and has allowed me to read and learn more and also allow me to finish off projects that were lingering.
However up until now 2013 has been no improvement on recent years, yes I get the nice odd job and now I feel I am charging slightly more competitive rates, but I am so scared of not getting any work I still take on jobs for less money than I am worth.
If you have read this far down, I applaud you and really do thank you from the bottom of my heart and im guessing you are thinking, where is all this leading?
Well im sat here right now with my mind just in mush, I dont have a clue what to do, where to go or how to go about anything.
I have no business model, I don't price jobs effectively and my desire for corporate jobs is falling fast.
I absolutely love timelapse film, documentaries and love editing films with music that just evokes emotion, those things give me goosebumps and make me all fuzzy inside. Can I make money from it? Im not sure I can.
In the past few months as well I have really got into portrait photography and only last week I went into a studio for the first time and worked with a couple of models, I loved it and cant wait to do it again.
Here are the results ( I used my 600D by the way)...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/markasplin/sets/72157633784249457/
In the past 12 months I have flirted with wedding filming again and have a friends one to do in the summer, but im not sure if I am just treading over old ground....
I also have local bands still asking for videos etc, I have some great ideas but they cant pay me.... so is it worth my time?
Ultimately i do feel my work and filming has gotten a lot better and I feel I am twice the cameraman I was.... I just don't know what the next step is???
Any job I take on now he money goes towards paying off debts and bills etc, my partner still tells me I treat it like a hobby rather than a business and I feel im taking on low paid jobs just to get money rather than producing something great, which makes me feel so bad.
Im not a guy who has huge aspirations of winning an oscar for best director, I just want to do something I love and get paid for it so me and my family can live comfortably.
I love film and video, I am passionate about it, I cant imagine doing anything else with myself but i just dont know how to bridge that gap with the great ideas and aspirations in my head to actually carrying them out.
I would love to write a screenplay for a film or spend six months filming a documentary in the hope it gets a distribution deal but time and money wise I just dont feel I can sustain it.
I turn 29 at the start of July and ever since I was young wanted to be doing what I loved by the time i was 30, time is running out.
Is my focus of getting any money in at any cost overshadowing my passion to make good films?
I know networking is a key to getting things in the industry, im just not good at it, i dont think...
Do i put the past behind me and have a fresh start?
One thing I have been speaking about with my partner is if you should be good at many things or the master at one? Should I look at what I love like timelapse or portrait photography and dedicate myself to that? Maybe work fulltime for the last few months of my fathers business and concentrate on producing great films? (but my concern is when I get to the end of the year and am out of a job can I move into something with a regular income film wise?)
I have always been an independent person and dont like the idea of working for a company and working for someone else.
I get very passionate about projects and ideas, but if they dont go the way I planned, I lose interest.... I am always starting new projects before finishing others in the fear of missing out on something.
I know there is no definitive answer to any of this and I know I have bombarded this thread with questions...
But I would love to know if anyone has any advice, has anyone been in the same position as me or felt the same way at points?
My corporate website is:
www.absolutionfilms.com
If you fancy a look at any of the projects I have done in the past couple of years.
I am sure in this post I have missed a few things out or got some dates wrong but I just wanted to get everything down and get it out of my head in the hope it will stop swirling around so much!
I am also sure there are plenty of spelling mistakes in this post, so I apologise and once again if you have got to this bottom of this ridiculously long post, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Mark
I apologise in advance if this is a long post, but I feel I need to get it out of my head and start working through things. Since I joined IndieTalk it has always been a great resource of wisdom and knowledge and I feel I have related to it a lot as many people on here are in the same position as myself.... At this particular point in my life I definitely needed some guidance from people who know the industry well or have been in the same position.
This will be honest and to the core
So here goes...
Basically a bit about where I am at right now.... I used to freelance in music, organising tours for unsigned bands and doing PR for them, in 2009 I decided I didn't enjoy it anymore, I was spending way too much of my own money and it wasn't a good career choice, it was more of a lifestyle. In late 2009 I wanted to get into film, it was something I had always loved but was always seen as a dream of some sorts. However a local band posted on an online forum that were looking for someone to produce a live video for them and they were performing on friday night (the day I read this was a wednesday) I emailed the band and they said I could film it for them, problem was I didnt have a camera. I quickly headed t the local Jessops Camera store and bought a £599 Sony HD handy cam, I was very excited about filming in HD for the first time. I shot the video and edited on iMovie. The band liked the video, although looking back it was awful! haha
I enjoyed the whole process and I done the video for free of course.
After this I decided maybe this was a path I could choose and thought about ways to make a bit of money from it, straight away I thought about filming weddings and put a status on facebook asking if anyone was getting married in the near future, to my suprise I got sent a couples details through a friend on Facebook and they were getting married in October of 2009. Again I done this job for free, i thought it would be a good way to get a showreel up online, then make big bucks the next year booking loads of wedding filming. Before the wedding I thought I need to look professional so I hired a big sony HD shoulder cam from a hire company in the UK, i think it cost me about £100 for the weekend. I shot the wedding, and realised how many problems there was potentially going to be filming weddings, although I loved filming the wedding day and enjoy the romanticism of filming it and editing it to music, there were so many stressful moments on the day, it kind of put me off doing them. And doing it for free but hiring a camera I had already started dipping into my own pocket.
In the early part of 2010, I shot a guerilla style music video for a local band who approached me, I said I could do it for £50, they agreed, I was so happy someone was actually paying me to film! We shot in one day with them playing and singing in various places in Cambridge, this was shot on my Sony handy cam.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYzX9Xe0TFE
(this is the video)
I loved filming in the day and felt like a proper cameraman, I did feel I wasn't very good at directing people and felt a bit uncomfortable with it.
After this another local band whom I used to work with in my music days, were playing at the biggest venue in Cambridge, so I approached them about shooting a live video for them as I thought it would look great on a showreel to be filming in a massive live venue.
Once again I done this video for free as they were good mates and thought I would benefit anyway from having the footage to use. I headed to the venue with my Handycam again and shot the music video whilst they played their 30 minute set.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6_jGtHINh8
In the spring of 2010 I got an email from a guy who runs the venue where I shot the above video whom also works on the local council and organises "The Cambridge Folk Festival" one of the most renowned festivals in Europe. He said they were looking for someone to come and film a the festival and produce a short promo video to go on their website he said he was impressed with my last video, he said he could pay me £100, I jumped at the chance and once again thought this is my dream filming at a music festival and getting paid!
When summer of 2010 came around and the festival was upon me, I once again felt I needed to look professional, so hired a Sony V1E HD camera and bought some mini DV tapes. This set me back around £200 so already that £100 I was getting paid got swallowed up. And I was down on money again.
They loved the video and it was put on their website.
For the rest of 2010 I didn't film much mostly down to laziness, I done a few free shoots for local bands etc mainly live promo's again, did I miss an opportunity to strike while the iron was hot?Should I have pushed my video work more, I didn't have a website or anything with my videos on, I was just using Youtube.
At this point I must point out I was working for my father full time in his painting and decorating company, earning a full time wage and was still living at home not paying any rent. I had a car loan and was living the life of a mid 20 year old.
At the end of 2010 I was paid by the council for the festival promo and suddenly thought I didnt want to get caught out by the Tax man so looked into what I needed to do and that was to register as self employed as well as register as being employed by my dad full time still. I spoke to my dads accountant who set me all up and ABSOLUTION FILMS was born.... in name at least.
In my mind I thought this was it, I was going to make it as a professional videographer and by next year be earning 10's of thousands of pounds easily. I now had my own company! People would take me seriously and the work would come flowing in.
It didn't, basically because I was lazy and didn't even send out emails etc I thought now I had a company name and a basic website site, people would just find me.
In feb of 2011 the council got in touch with me again and said they would like me to film the Folk Festival again and also film another Event in the summer. The other event I had to produce a promo film and the festival they wanted me to film a daily video cast. They could pay me £300 for both! Wow my money was going up! This was getting serious.
For the summer event I needed to look professional again... guess what I did?? Yep I hired the V1E again another £170 gone, and for the festival I did the same plus some other things £170 again. No money made again. This was not making business sense.
They loved both videos however!
Later in 2011 I also filmed a local wrestling show and was going to produce DVD's of the show to sell online and at future events... I got some mates to help me film and I hired two Sony A1E's slightly cheaper than the V1E but still setting me back around £200. I filmed the event, spent many many hours now on Final Cut Express editing and finally got the DVD's ready to sell at another wrestling show! I was convinced they would sell like hotcakes and I would rake in the money.... I sold 5 I think at £6. That didn't even cover my printing costs!! I quickly determined this wasn't a viable business, I decided not to do it again.
In late 2011 I was asked to film some vox pops for a classical music live show. £100 was the deal, brilliant I thought there are still jobs coming in.
By the end of 2011 I was feeling so depressed in my day job as a painter and decorator and so desperately wanted to work full time in film, but something was stopping me getting out and meeting people and networking.... A a person I can sit and chat to anyone, I'm socially easy going, but selling myself to someone or a group of people and i can't.
I definitely have low self esteem, every time before a film a project the idea in my head is great but when its all said and don't I feel nothing but disappointed.
Some other events that happened in 2011 personally were quite life changing, in the May I found out I was going to be a dad, something that came as an utter surprise as my partner was told she couldn't have babies. We werent even living together so, with me already being in debt from Car loans and various other purchases we decided to buy a house! Luckily my partner had a lot of money saved and we got help from her family, In october 2011 we moved into our first home.
This felt like a new start and living on my own for the first time I also felt a sense of 2012 being a great year and my video business would pick up, I would try harder to get work and by the end of 2012 I would be working full time in film.
Alongside the work I have done, I have also been very interested in narrative film and documentaries and join a local film making group in 2011 to try and work on some narrative stuff, but I always felt other filming would be where I would get my money in.
2012 come around and this was going to be the year, It was going to happen... from Jan - Feb I done one small job for the local council filming a dance event £100.
In late Feb my gorgeous son was born! It gave me a new outlook on life, I looked back on the last 2 years and felt like I had really failed at what I wanted to do, I had been lazy and complacent and not pushed at anything.
I love my partner more than anything and I love her for the simple fact she will tell me how it is, she told me I have got to stop treating the film work like a hobby and stop charging ridiculously low prices. My time is worth something and i'm good at what I do, sometimes I doubt my own abilities.
This got me thinking and with the birth of my son, I wanted to do better for him and for my new family. At this point we got a 15 month interest free credit card, I decided I needed to start taking things more seriously so used the credit card to buy a new camera, My handycam was decent quality but had no manual functions, everywhere I read said you needed to go manual to get anything decent image wise... i researched and researched and bought a canon 600D for £619 pounds. I also bought a bag for it and another lens 50-20mm IS II (£200).
I thought If i really push my work this year I can easily pay that off. My risk was rewarded a local language school in cambridge got in touch 2 weeks after my son was born, they wanted me to film a promo video for their school... they also asked if I did photos as they wanted to update their website and brochures, they just wanted simple photographs and so I said yes! I thought now I have my DSLR I could easily do photos as well, how hard could it be? They asked how much I charged and I remember speaking a to a producer a while before who said she works for no less than £250 a day, I thought I would push my luck and say I could do the job for £250 a day and it would take 4 days in total to do, thats 2 days filming/photos and 2 days editing.... hurrah this is easy.
I started researching online about photography and decided i needed to get a flash gun, I had to look professional so i needed a good one, i used the credit card to buy a £220 Canon Speedlight.
I will keep this brief the job did not take 4 days and infact i didnt get the job finished until the summer, it took almost four months, obviously i didnt work full time on it for 4 months but had various days off unpaid from my full time job to go film for the school or take pics.... £1000 was no way near enough.
However they were very happy with the promo video and the pics. I just didnt judge my time properly and that cost me.
In this period I also got asked to do a film for Hewlett Packard on a Cancer awareness programme they were launching, it was a days shoot plus editing, again i thought this wont take long and quoted around £400, like I was quickly learning that price was no way near enough, put simply I didnt estimate my time properly.
The reason I was taking every piece of work on and charging prices off the top of my head, I just couldn't afford to turn the work down, having a child, a new house and trying to pay off debts, meant I had to take on every piece of work I could.
Anyway all this work would really help my showreel right?? The more work I done and took on the more work would come my way surely?? Nope!
Again in the summer I was asked again to shoot another promo for the summer event and again do the videocasts for the festival, due to my hard work and them being happy with the videos last year, they up the budget by a few hundred pound.
My partner said I was still charging too little and knew the jobs would take much longer than I anticipated.
With the work I had already done and the future work in the summer, I thought this year I dont have to hire a camera so I decided to buy a Konig Tripod with a fluid head and previously I had been using a photo tripod that was way too jerky. In the months from feb to july I spent a lot of money on little bits of equipment I thought I needed. ND filters, UV Filters, Lights (£110).
All the money I earned from the few jobs I done had been swallowed up, where had it gone? I was still in debt and things were not as rosy as I thought they would be.
My mind was getting mashed with thoughts of is this all really worth it, where have I gone wrong? Why aren't I earning thousands doing this by now, why do i see others just getting jobs easily and doing it full time.
The end of 2012 was quiet work wise and not much money was coming in. I felt throughly depressed, but 2013 was on its way and a new year a new start.
Just some quick other things from 2012, as it was the olympics year in the UK, as part of the summer event I was asked to film, I got asked to film some of the Olympic Torch Relay, I thought this would be great and would look great on a CV, I would definitely get more jobs from just being able to film such a prestigious event. Have I used that to my advantage? probably not.
In 2012 I also came across timelapse photography and film, I fell in love with it, it just blew me away and I was obsessed with it. In 2012 as well I singed up for twitter and started following lots of film makers on there hoping to meet new people (something I quickly realised is that everyone wants to meet phillip bloom and vincent laforet, they don't care about little old me and have no time for me). I wanted to get into timelapse more but I literally didnt have time and life in 2012 passed me by.
So here we are in 2013 nearly half way through.... at the start of the year my dad said he would be retiring at the end of the year and closing the business, it was a wake up call and made me think, its now or never film wise, by the end of 2013 i need to be earning a decent full time income from film or I can forget it.
I spoke with my dad and said I would like mondays off of his work to concentrate on film things. I never realised how taking one day off a week really hits your income! With my partner back at work but only part time and still lots of bills to pay and debts that I accrued last year buying equipment, money has been very tight these first few months, I feel im stuck in a hole, that i see no way out of.
Having mondays off has been good it has allowed me to have more evenings and weekends free and has allowed me to read and learn more and also allow me to finish off projects that were lingering.
However up until now 2013 has been no improvement on recent years, yes I get the nice odd job and now I feel I am charging slightly more competitive rates, but I am so scared of not getting any work I still take on jobs for less money than I am worth.
If you have read this far down, I applaud you and really do thank you from the bottom of my heart and im guessing you are thinking, where is all this leading?
Well im sat here right now with my mind just in mush, I dont have a clue what to do, where to go or how to go about anything.
I have no business model, I don't price jobs effectively and my desire for corporate jobs is falling fast.
I absolutely love timelapse film, documentaries and love editing films with music that just evokes emotion, those things give me goosebumps and make me all fuzzy inside. Can I make money from it? Im not sure I can.
In the past few months as well I have really got into portrait photography and only last week I went into a studio for the first time and worked with a couple of models, I loved it and cant wait to do it again.
Here are the results ( I used my 600D by the way)...
http://www.flickr.com/photos/markasplin/sets/72157633784249457/
In the past 12 months I have flirted with wedding filming again and have a friends one to do in the summer, but im not sure if I am just treading over old ground....
I also have local bands still asking for videos etc, I have some great ideas but they cant pay me.... so is it worth my time?
Ultimately i do feel my work and filming has gotten a lot better and I feel I am twice the cameraman I was.... I just don't know what the next step is???
Any job I take on now he money goes towards paying off debts and bills etc, my partner still tells me I treat it like a hobby rather than a business and I feel im taking on low paid jobs just to get money rather than producing something great, which makes me feel so bad.
Im not a guy who has huge aspirations of winning an oscar for best director, I just want to do something I love and get paid for it so me and my family can live comfortably.
I love film and video, I am passionate about it, I cant imagine doing anything else with myself but i just dont know how to bridge that gap with the great ideas and aspirations in my head to actually carrying them out.
I would love to write a screenplay for a film or spend six months filming a documentary in the hope it gets a distribution deal but time and money wise I just dont feel I can sustain it.
I turn 29 at the start of July and ever since I was young wanted to be doing what I loved by the time i was 30, time is running out.
Is my focus of getting any money in at any cost overshadowing my passion to make good films?
I know networking is a key to getting things in the industry, im just not good at it, i dont think...
Do i put the past behind me and have a fresh start?
One thing I have been speaking about with my partner is if you should be good at many things or the master at one? Should I look at what I love like timelapse or portrait photography and dedicate myself to that? Maybe work fulltime for the last few months of my fathers business and concentrate on producing great films? (but my concern is when I get to the end of the year and am out of a job can I move into something with a regular income film wise?)
I have always been an independent person and dont like the idea of working for a company and working for someone else.
I get very passionate about projects and ideas, but if they dont go the way I planned, I lose interest.... I am always starting new projects before finishing others in the fear of missing out on something.
I know there is no definitive answer to any of this and I know I have bombarded this thread with questions...
But I would love to know if anyone has any advice, has anyone been in the same position as me or felt the same way at points?
My corporate website is:
www.absolutionfilms.com
If you fancy a look at any of the projects I have done in the past couple of years.
I am sure in this post I have missed a few things out or got some dates wrong but I just wanted to get everything down and get it out of my head in the hope it will stop swirling around so much!
I am also sure there are plenty of spelling mistakes in this post, so I apologise and once again if you have got to this bottom of this ridiculously long post, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Mark
