archived-videos A freaky except from a freaky film, have I gone too far?

T

TheKoreandonut

This is a weird scene from the movie "Aragon Alley," a short film that I'm wrapping up. This is a rough edit of a scene I'm working on, but I need some honest, honest feedback. I was inspired by Lynch to do it this way but it's taking a life of it's on!

PS: If it's not clear what's going on, don't worry - I feel the same way!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aH05wgpnCnY
 
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Certainly surreal!

As for feedback, well I offer this only as from a "normal" perspective, but again, what you're attemping in maybe part of it:

At least one of the "mouth" shots was off center-slight distraction for a moment.

A couple of the closeups could use a more lighting-in that they're almost dark (the one with the guy BBQing strikes me)

Nice use of the reds/oranges in colours-noting the girl standing in the corner and first thing I think is "Blair Witch Project" lol. Overall lighting wise, maybe just a little more, just because some moments get so dark-but again, maybe that's your effect.

Pretty interesting vid though!
The redhead turning around was certainly a cool moment, didn't expect it!
 
Since you say you don't know what is going on here, we can't really comment on story.

The whole thing is underlit. I don't know what your resources are but even when you're using fire to light a scene you will still benefit from having some fill and back light in places.

There is some distortion in the audio. I don't know the tech term, but it sounds like you're too close/the sound is too loud for the mic/system.

Since its a sureal scene you can over look a lot of what would be considered unorthodox, however when you change angles when the guy is getting his face burned, we can clearly see he isn't and that he's laughing. It could be sureal in itself, but IMO it helps to lose the effect you are going for. You might consider cutting that out.
 
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Yah this filming took place at the last minute. The story is about a foreigner's perspective but with a Lynchian twist... we had an idea but was all improv for the most part. So before filming this we like "Hey, we need some lighting!" We run over to a hardware store and buy this one cheap flexible light, and that's what you see in the screen.

Thanks for the comment about the face burning effect. What can I do to fix the problem? After Effects?
 
I would just cut out the part where we can see him not getting burned. @1:47 Oh, after watching it again, it wasn't him smiling. That's fine.
 
Well basically, I want it to tie in with my story about a foreigner's experience in Korea. But maybe I got a little too surrealistic? I just want to know if this scene is too overboard. Regardless, I still want to use it - it was fun to film:)
 
TheKoreandonut said:
Well basically, I want it to tie in with my story about a foreigner's experience in Korea. But maybe I got a little too surrealistic? I just want to know if this scene is too overboard. Regardless, I still want to use it - it was fun to film:)
Click to expand...

I like the surrealistic aspect of it-trying to capture something like a foreigner's experience in another country-the emotions, sensations, ect-that's stuff that you can't put into words-so putting into pictures (and really, aren't emotions in a way surreal-no two people have the EXACT same feelings towards things) I think it's commendable :)

Mind you you're talking to someone who makes film shorts about masked people using no dialogue and only ambvient sound, so I know the surrealistic aspect of things ;)
 
It's fairly entertaining when you watch it under the influence of a mood altering substance (like beer on an empty stomach). :) But yeah, I would also say that you should put more effort and thought into the lighting. Good luck on your project.
 
@Tinalera - Yah, I like surrealistic as well. I probably wont be doing anything like this for a why though, it's hard trying to link everything together!

@richy - LOL, thanks for the advice. I plan on buying a low-priced photography/filming lighting kit for my next project.
 
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