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Japanese Trailer


Ok, so does anybody speak Japanese?

I basically made this trailer using google translate, which I know is a bad idea. I thought however, if someone did know how to read Kanji script, they might be willing to help me iron out the rough edges that I'm oblivious to.

I would also value any feedback on this trailer as a whole, scenes, music, pacing, messaging, anything that sticks out to anyone. I'm doing a series of these to run tests in international markets. Also, I may go looking for VC funding for this, since it's a potentially viable investment with the new mechanics, and a concrete demonstration of how we can quickly scale territories could go a long way towards selling the concept.

I'm also using this test video to see how the process works for getting a channel to show up natively in search results for other languages.
 
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I was really engaged by this, as opposed to interested, maybe for the first time. The scenes, the music, and the pacing all worked for me, drew me in.

One thing, though--not thought out, but a little niggle--was that it perhaps took a few moments too long to wind down, although I would hate to lose anything, especially the last shot of kitty, Maybe consider stretching out the instructions closer to the end.

Just a thought. But, honestly, I like it.

No clue about the Japanese, lol, but the subtitles have kind of a Japanese feel. If the characters are correct, it works in both languages.
 
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The visuals are great. I hate the music but I'm not your target audience so ignore that :)

Re Japanese - you could probably get someone on Upwork or Fiverr or similar to review & correct the translation if no one here can do it. I'm sure it wouldn't cost much as it would be a very quick job.
 
I was really engaged by this, as opposed to interested, maybe for the first time. The scenes, the music, and the pacing all worked for me, drew me in.

One thing, though--not thought out, but a little niggle--was that it perhaps took a few moments too long to wind down, although I would hate to lose anything, especially the last shot of kitty, Maybe consider stretching out the instructions closer to the end.

Just a thought. But, honestly, I like it.

No clue about the Japanese, lol, but the subtitles have kind of a Japanese feel. If the characters are correct, it works in both languages.
Thanks, I appreciate negative feedback, but I'll be honest, positive feedback is my favorite, lol. So thank you for that.

You are 100% correct about it going on too long. I feel the same way. In fact, I thought this could have been cut down to a minute. I'm just struggling with what I call loop ego, a term I invented to keep my music design in check years ago. It means that when you are proud of some thing you did, you want to show it, even when that's not of benefit to the product as a whole. It's part of how ego routinely obstructs creators, and I'm certainly not above making these very human errors.

Even going at this very fast pace, I couldn't even fit in a few seconds of each scene in this that I was proud of creating. About half of the "best of the best clips got left on the cutting room floor, and even the ones I did keep are down to a second or two slice.

I probably do need to cut it down even further, but honestly, I love this cheesy song, and just let it run it's course.

I feel like this one has a good vibe to it.
 
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The visuals are great. I hate the music but I'm not your target audience so ignore that :)

Re Japanese - you could probably get someone on Upwork or Fiverr or similar to review & correct the translation if no one here can do it. I'm sure it wouldn't cost much as it would be a very quick job.
Thanks for the review, I do appreciate everyone that helps me understand what parts are working and what parts are not.

This might be seen as defensive, but this one time, I'm going to defend the music choice, not that you're attacking it, just in general.

Ok, so some of you may have noticed that this isn't a particularly talent heavy soundtrack. In fact, it's a little dumb, so why did I use it.

It's because it makes the whole thing feel a lot less serious. It's kind of playful and stupid, and I think that it will effectively counterbalance some of the more heavy elements of my creative output.

I used to play guitar professionally in a number of bands, and I learned a trick during those years. I would sit in the studio and practice very complex fretwork for hours, days, months, years. And I'd get out on stage and people were impressed by that. But I found a way to up my game. I had done these things so many times, that I could pull little stunts on stage, and that's what got the lions share of attention.

Massive guitar solo using every technique in the book, they were impressed, but when I started playing that solo left hand only, while lighting a cigarette with my right hand, maybe checking a text message, it blew their minds.

The moral of the story, if you can do something very difficult, and make it look effortless, like you aren't actually taking it that seriously, it comes off as way more impressive than it actually is. That's why the fun, stupid music. I think that lack of self-seriousness will actually elevate the way people can enjoy the work that is there.

Anyway, no offense taken at all, I appreciate your understanding of the demographics thing. This work is intended to become popular with the same group of people that buy dorm room posters. Save Point will address a larger audience, but that's in the future.
 
The energy ended at 1:10. This is because you said "To win, just subscribe, and play for free." Which sounds like the end of a promo. When it continued it felt tacked on.

Also for legal reasons you should say "For a chance to win..."

Looks good.
 
The energy ended at 1:10. This is because you said "To win, just subscribe, and play for free." Which sounds like the end of a promo. When it continued it felt tacked on.

Also for legal reasons you should say "For a chance to win..."

Looks good.
Thanks for the review. I think you are correct about the text thing.

Now the chance to win thing is intentional, and not illegal, because this design is fundamentally different.

There is no randomness or chance here. Whoever solves the maze first wins. It's a straight up skill contest. I never enter a contest where I work for 10 hours and then they draw a name out of a hat. But a contest of skill, wouldn't miss it. The reason people always tack on "chances of winning are 1 in 10,000" is because that's legally required for any contest involving random selection, and any kind of online raffle type thing is legally required to accept free submissions, though people have been skirting this by selling 1000 contest entries for 5 dollars or similar.

My big idea here is a completely level playing field, with no deference to income, race, creed, sex, or anything, and no random drawing or pachinko tactics. May the best person win.

I studied the law on this, and while in a sense, people are gambling time against money, what I'm doing here is not considered gambling. I'm clear of legal worries for the moment. It has some of the advantages of online gambling, but ultimately it's as legal as the Olympics.
 
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