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logline Which One Sounds Interesting?

I've got several ideas for new scripts I need to write. Wondering which ones sound more interesting to you all? None of these are extremely developed yet, but I will try my best to logline them.

1. "In the Ground"
(Genre: Western)
Synopsis: An outcasted outlaw is shot and left for dead by the county sheriff in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, the outlaw is taken in by an unsuspecting rancher family. As he heals, he grows fond of the family... But his peace is short lived when his old gang members show up... Talking about an ancient treasure buried deep beneath the house. Now, he must decide to remain in his old ways or save the family he now holds dear.

2. "Boogey Blow"
(Genre: Comedy/Action)
Synopsis: A dying Vietnam vet and grandfather decides to pass down his life long secret to his grandson, a drug that brings out the funk in anybody. The grandson doesn't believe the drug is anything but cocaine at first, but after a miserable day at work... He decides to take a hit... Suddenly his world transforms as he is imbued with the ability to get down and groove, dress extremely well, and tune any speaker to funky Disco music.

Those are the most developed ideas I have at the time... But here are some other short ones:

3. "Tree of Achlys"
(Genre: Horror/Drama)
A suicidal teen decides to turn her life around and visit a drug induced therapy retreat. The drug used comes from a strange tree, and reportedly makes anyone taking it face their worst fears.

4. "The Weaver"
(Genre: Thriller/Horror)
A murder mystery dealing with a detective on the trail of a serial killer who uses spider silk from Golden Orb spiders to do his killing.

5. "Mystery Meat"
(Genre: Thriller/Comedy)
A weird tale about a man attempting to grow laboratory meat to aid in helping rid the world of animal cruelty... Until the meat he is growing starts growing limbs and talking back.

6. "Roid"
(Action/Horror)
An out of shape loser decides enough is enough and jumps on the opportunity to take a fat burning anabolic... Only he occasionally blacks out, and finds himself surrounded by dead, dismembered bodies.

I still have a ton of work to do before these ideas are truly great, but I'm curious what other people here would flock to given the choice?
 
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mlesemann

Staff Member
Moderator
I like the western idea, but I think it's too coincidental that the gang happens to show up at the same place that he's recruiting because they're looking for treasure buried on that land. I think you'd need a twist that makes it not a coincidence.
 
Boogy blow sounds very funky. But how does this help the protagonist in his conflict? What is his conflict?
Mystery Meat sounds very David Cronenberg, I like the idea....
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
It appears you like transformation stories and those transformations are from a pill/drug etc. (2,3,6)

You could probably interweave these into a larger story using all 3 (hey, the Chinese mystery seeds thing but pills haha)... 3 short stories with one common denominator, or the characters all meet somehow, or it's one story, 3 pills, whatever! Think about why you like transformation stories and why these transformations occur when taking a pill (etc.) and work with that.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
I like the western idea, but I think it's too coincidental that the gang happens to show up at the same place that he's recruiting because they're looking for treasure buried on that land. I think you'd need a twist that makes it not a coincidence.
Solution: The whole gang knew about the treasure, he decided to try to grab it for himself so was shot for dead near or at the house that took him in. No more coincidence. He was there for the treasure the gang comes for. Does he now have the chance to take it himself again, protect the family, or, join the gang that doesn't know he betrayed them (or does!)?
 

mlesemann

Staff Member
Moderator
Solution: The whole gang knew about the treasure, he decided to try to grab it for himself so was shot for dead near or at the house that took him in. No more coincidence. He was there for the treasure the gang comes for. Does he now have the chance to take it himself again, protect the family, or, join the gang that doesn't know he betrayed them (or does!)?

Yes - that.
 
I've got several ideas for new scripts I need to write. Wondering which ones sound more interesting to you all? None of these are extremely developed yet, but I will try my best to logline them.

1. "In the Ground"
(Genre: Western)
Synopsis: An outcasted outlaw is shot and left for dead by the county sheriff in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, the outlaw is taken in by an unsuspecting rancher family. As he heals, he grows fond of the family... But his peace is short lived when his old gang members show up... Talking about an ancient treasure buried deep beneath the house. Now, he must decide to remain in his old ways or save the family he now holds dear.

2. "Boogey Blow"
(Genre: Comedy/Action)
Synopsis: A dying Vietnam vet and grandfather decides to pass down his life long secret to his grandson, a drug that brings out the funk in anybody. The grandson doesn't believe the drug is anything but cocaine at first, but after a miserable day at work... He decides to take a hit... Suddenly his world transforms as he is imbued with the ability to get down and groove, dress extremely well, and tune any speaker to funky Disco music.

Those are the most developed ideas I have at the time... But here are some other short ones:

3. "Tree of Achlys"
(Genre: Horror/Drama)
A suicidal teen decides to turn her life around and visit a drug induced therapy retreat. The drug used comes from a strange tree, and reportedly makes anyone taking it face their worst fears.

4. "The Weaver"
(Genre: Thriller/Horror)
A murder mystery dealing with a detective on the trail of a serial killer who uses spider silk from Golden Orb spiders to do his killing.

5. "Mystery Meat"
(Genre: Thriller/Comedy)
A weird tale about a man attempting to grow laboratory meat to aid in helping rid the world of animal cruelty... Until the meat he is growing starts growing limbs and talking back.

6. "Roid"
(Action/Horror)
An out of shape loser decides enough is enough and jumps on the opportunity to take a fat burning anabolic... Only he occasionally blacks out, and finds himself surrounded by dead, dismembered bodies.

I still have a ton of work to do before these ideas are truly great, but I'm curious what other people here would flock to given the choice?
#5 is kinda dope, and 6, and 1. I see them being cool af
 
I've got several ideas for new scripts I need to write. Wondering which ones sound more interesting to you all? None of these are extremely developed yet, but I will try my best to logline them.

1. "In the Ground"
(Genre: Western)
Synopsis: An outcasted outlaw is shot and left for dead by the county sheriff in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, the outlaw is taken in by an unsuspecting rancher family. As he heals, he grows fond of the family... But his peace is short lived when his old gang members show up... Talking about an ancient treasure buried deep beneath the house. Now, he must decide to remain in his old ways or save the family he now holds dear.

2. "Boogey Blow"
(Genre: Comedy/Action)
Synopsis: A dying Vietnam vet and grandfather decides to pass down his life long secret to his grandson, a drug that brings out the funk in anybody. The grandson doesn't believe the drug is anything but cocaine at first, but after a miserable day at work... He decides to take a hit... Suddenly his world transforms as he is imbued with the ability to get down and groove, dress extremely well, and tune any speaker to funky Disco music.

Those are the most developed ideas I have at the time... But here are some other short ones:

3. "Tree of Achlys"
(Genre: Horror/Drama)
A suicidal teen decides to turn her life around and visit a drug induced therapy retreat. The drug used comes from a strange tree, and reportedly makes anyone taking it face their worst fears.

4. "The Weaver"
(Genre: Thriller/Horror)
A murder mystery dealing with a detective on the trail of a serial killer who uses spider silk from Golden Orb spiders to do his killing.

5. "Mystery Meat"
(Genre: Thriller/Comedy)
A weird tale about a man attempting to grow laboratory meat to aid in helping rid the world of animal cruelty... Until the meat he is growing starts growing limbs and talking back.

6. "Roid"
(Action/Horror)
An out of shape loser decides enough is enough and jumps on the opportunity to take a fat burning anabolic... Only he occasionally blacks out, and finds himself surrounded by dead, dismembered bodies.

I still have a ton of work to do before these ideas are truly great, but I'm curious what other people here would flock to given the choice?

To be earnest, none of this seem interesting, for me, of course, but then I don't share the drug theme, maybe except 1, but then it perhaps sounds a bit familiar, as the supposed killer of the family turns into a protector, something like Kurt Russell in the sci-fi (forgot the name, perhaps Soldier), only in that movie there were no treasures. Makes ground for interesting human drama, as the survivor has to think about killing those who helped him or something like that. Still, that requires a hell of good acting and story to be believable.

As for others, yes, they have in common the new drug theme, and maybe it is kinda cool in West now (I recall a number of similar themed movies and a recent TV series in Netflix), so it is OK out there, still, maybe you can find something better, because in the drug movies, obviously, the drug itself and its consequences take central stage in the story, and I personally have no interest watching how people turn to junkies and what happens to their families, even if the junkies are lucky to survive.
 
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Thank you all for the feedback!

I like the western idea, but I think it's too coincidental that the gang happens to show up at the same place that he's recruiting because they're looking for treasure buried on that land. I think you'd need a twist that makes it not a coincidence.

That is a good point. The hope was to allow this moment to be shift/changing beat for the film's main character. To allow the character an opportunity to change his ways, for a better cause, while giving the film an opportunity to have some gritty action. It would be very quick, but bloody.

Boogy blow sounds very funky. But how does this help the protagonist in his conflict? What is his conflict?
Mystery Meat sounds very David Cronenberg, I like the idea....

For Boogey Blow, the conflict is his ho hum existence. Very dry, gray, un-entertaining. Can't dance, can't groove, can't live happily in his world. Once he absorbs the power of funk, this changes everything for him... Making him a superhero of funk and changing his life/view of the world. Its so overwhelming, he decides to share the power with the rest of the world.

Solution: The whole gang knew about the treasure, he decided to try to grab it for himself so was shot for dead near or at the house that took him in. No more coincidence. He was there for the treasure the gang comes for. Does he now have the chance to take it himself again, protect the family, or, join the gang that doesn't know he betrayed them (or does!)?

That adds to the story very well! Thank you! Great reason for the gang to show up.

What's your plan for these? To write a spec and actually make it yourself or to try and sell it?

Right now, my focus is to write my first feature script, and attempt to write the best one I can with current skills and limits in mind. Too early to be thinking about selling/publication, at least in my eyes. I'm not at that level yet.

#5 is kinda dope, and 6, and 1. I see them being cool af

Awesome, thank you for the vote! If you COULD pick to choose one over the other, what would you be most interested in seeing in final form, and why?

To be earnest, none of this seem interesting, for me, of course, but then I don't share the drug theme, maybe except 1, but then it perhaps sounds a bit familiar, as the supposed killer of the family turns into a protector, something like Kurt Russell in the sci-fi (forgot the name, perhaps Soldier), only in that movie there were no treasures. Makes ground for interesting human drama, as the survivor has to think about killing those who helped him or something like that. Still, that requires a hell of good acting and story to be believable.

As for others, yes, they have in common the new drug theme, and maybe it is kinda cool in West now (I recall a number of similar themed movies and a recent TV series in Netflix), so it is OK out there, still, maybe you can find something better, because in the drug movies, obviously, the drug itself and its consequences take central stage in the story, and I personally have no interest watching how people turn to junkies and what happens to their families, even if the junkies are lucky to survive.

No worries. Thanks for being honest. The only reason so many drug options for ideas, is because I've been researching and reading a lot about those.

The Mystery Meat one is not a drug idea though, that is actually modern science made manifest to its ultimate conclusion and concern. (People not liking the idea of lab grown meat because of its soulless nature and creationism conflicts).
 
Right now, my focus is to write my first feature script, and attempt to write the best one I can with current skills and limits in mind. Too early to be thinking about selling/publication, at least in my eyes. I'm not at that level yet.

I too would have to go with the western but I'd update it to present day. Definitely get rid of the coincidence. It would be difficult to believe his gang just happens to show up where he's been recuperating to find buried treasure. To come get him maybe but you also say he's an outcasted outlaw. Outcasted from his gang? Outcasted from whom?

As far as updating it to present day... The rancher family's home would have to be pretty isolated so as not to take him to the hospital. Maybe instead of the county sheriff shooting him, his gang shoots him instead... After some heist. Except later, after leaving him for dead, they figure out he's switched the money bag(s) and now, they've got nothing. It would make sense that they would go back to where they left his body to see if there are any clues as to where the money is.

His body's gone so they start looking for anyone that lives near the area...

You could even use a border town (U.S. and Mexico) where the heist was pulled off. Lots of ranchers along the U.S. Mexican border in Texas and New Mexico. Some in Arizona too although not as many. If you do that? You could also bring a Mexican drug cartel into the mix. In fact, there have been ranchers who have lived along the border in Texas for generations who have actually been driven out of their ranches by the cartels. The cartels have taken over these ranches to aid in bringing over drugs, illegals, terrorists, etc.

Maybe your Protagonist ends up taking the money out of the bags he switched and puts drug cartel drugs in them instead... Maybe he figures out how to pit his old gang against the cartel.

Just thinking out loud here...

The other reason I say to update it to present day is because if you do end up writing something that is good enough to put into the market? Period pieces are a very hard sell.

Just my 2 cents... Good luck!
 
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I too would have to go with the western but I'd update it to present day. Definitely get rid of the coincidence. It would be difficult to believe his gang just happens to show up where he's been recuperating to find buried treasure. To come get him maybe but you also say he's an outcasted outlaw. Outcasted from his gang? Outcasted from whom?

As far as updating it to present day... The rancher family's home would have to be pretty isolated so as not to take him to the hospital. Maybe instead of the county sheriff shooting him, his gang shoots him instead... After some heist. Except later, after leaving him for dead, they figure out he's switched the money bag(s) and now, they've got nothing. It would make sense that they would go back to where they left his body to see if there are any clues as to where the money is.

His body's gone so they start looking for anyone that lives near the area...

You could even use a border town (U.S. and Mexico) where the heist was pulled off. Lots of ranchers along the U.S. Mexican border in Texas and New Mexico. Some in Arizona too although not as many. If you do that? You could also bring a Mexican drug cartel into the mix. In fact, there have been ranchers who have lived along the border in Texas for generations who have actually been driven out of their ranches by the cartels. The cartels have taken over these ranches to aid in bringing over drugs, illegals, terrorists, etc.

Maybe your Protagonist ends up taking the money out of the bags he switched and puts drug cartel drugs in them instead... Maybe he figures out how to pit his old gang against the cartel.

Just thinking out loud here...

The other reason I say to update it to present day is because if you do end up writing something that is good enough to put into the market? Period pieces are a very hard sell.

Just my 2 cents... Good luck!

I think that as a result of a collective brainstorm, this one has a good potential. I think that Mexican cartels are somewhat tired topic these days, so I would actually move the action to 1870s, Wild West, the treasure is army money left by general Custer, and you will have actually competing two bad sides - treasure hunters or a band of deserters from Custer's company and rogue Indians, both are vying for money and a small farmer family in between ;) with the main hero on neither side
 
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I think that as a result of a collective brainstorm, this one has a good potential. I think that Mexican cartels are somewhat tired topic these days, so I would actually move the action to 1870s, Wild West, the treasure is army money left by general Custer, and you will have actually competing two bad sides - treasure hunters or a band of deserters from Custer's company and rogue Indians, both are vying for money and a small farmer family in between ;) with the main hero on neither side

Yeah, I definetly want to keep it period. I am getting tired of cartel films as well. Its time for the old west to return!

I also don't want to over complicate the plot with too much going on. I know a simple but powerful character arc is going to out perform anything I can come up with for twists and turns.

I think it will shape up into something fun and interesting to write though! Thanks for all the feedback and help on this everyone.
 

indietalk

IndieTalk Founder
Staff Member
Admin
I was actually thinking do a western/sc-fi. Not steampunk or crazy sci-fi, plausible sci-fi as a western. So the treasure is not gold, it's something to do with a meteorite landing there and the house being built on that site, and the "treasure" is (here's where you step in, not going to write it for you but thought this might help.) :D

I like it but it sounded like a Bonanza episode. And you are the sci-fi guy! Add some Outer Limits! ;)
 
I was actually thinking do a western/sc-fi. Not steampunk or crazy sci-fi, plausible sci-fi as a western. So the treasure is not gold, it's something to do with a meteorite landing there and the house being built on that site, and the "treasure" is (here's where you step in, not going to write it for you but thought this might help.) :D

I like it but it sounded like a Bonanza episode. And you are the sci-fi guy! Add some Outer Limits! ;)

Haha, maybe. I'll need to start writing something soon though. I'm loosing my mind staying at home, playing games all night.
 
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