When do you know when to move on? Grim tales from a scriptwriter

[AllanBourne]

FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM -- NIGHT

This current feature I'm begining to write is really kicking me in the ass. I know how it ends, I know all the elements and cool scenes I want to put in. But in the grand scheme of things I keep telling myself that this will never work. I have two other very good ideas that I feel I can write(But will take longer, and much more prep).

This current script which is currently kicking my ass even before I get passed Act 1, is a arthouse slasher film in which instead of focusing on the victims, I'm putting all the emphasis on the Monster. Im trying to explore his mind, put the reader in the before snapshot, let them see exactly what this sick and twisted monster is thinking. But something just keeps telling me to let it go, it won't work, doubts are starting to sink in. I feel like I'm gonna turn into a monster soon.

- Help, advice, please.
FADE TO BLACK

 

[SCRIPTMONK!!!]

It's hard to give any real advice with as little information as you have provided, but it seems your problem is that your premise is based on a lot of things contradictory to movie logic. An audience can't feel compelled to care about a story unless they first feel some sort of attachment to the protagonist. If the protagonist is someone the audience will feel repulsed by in every way, then that cannot happen.

I teach that every protagonist requires must meet three qualifications before the audience will care about him or her.
1. The protag must be humanly identifiable (that is, the character shows emotions and behavior in a human way that we are familiar within outselves and see in others)
2. The protag is worthy of our interest.
3. The protag is worthy of our respect.

It seems your protagonist violates numbers 1 and 3.
A psychopathic serial killer is by nature inhuman. His behavior is warped in a way that we cannot identify with. We cannot feel empathy for a mind that is incomprehensible.
More important for a protag is audience respect. A protag can be unlikeable, he can go things that we do not approve of, and still get away with it as long as there are qualities about that person we can still respect. This means that though the character may commmit crimes or be a jerk, he still operates under a code of ethics that we can understand and respect, a code that keeps him from crossing the line into truly immoral behavior. A good example is Dexter. Dexter is a serial killer, yet the audience still accepts him because he follows a code of ethics in his crimes. He doesn't kill innocents, only other murderers, which in a twisted logic is acceptable to the audience.

The closest thing I have ever heard of an "art house slasher movie" is the Danish Mockmentary "Man Bites Dog" (check it out if you have never seen it). Yet even though the focus of the film is on the psychopath killer, he is still not the protagonist. The protags are the documentary filmmakers following him around. Unlike the killer, the filmmakers are regular people that we can relate to and sympathize with. And even then, the killer murders by a code of ethics (which he shares in the film) so his horrible acts never get so horrible that the audience refuses to watch any more. This is why that particular movie still works despite its monstrous lead.

 

[amld]

I know your pain AllanBorne, this is exactly where I'm at. I can't keep writing the story cause I feel it while interesting it is too disturbing, and that dealing with it so much is really starting to bring me down.. Like i'm hunted by it...

 

[AllanBourne]

Thanks for you reply SCRIPTMONK that really helps alot. And @amld yea, sucks doesn't it :/

 

[FantasySciFi]

I agree with the comments about developing your story's character. What I sense from your question is "How do I put this aside to work on other projects?".

I have several ideas that I've developed that I've put on the shelf. And actually a couple that I found, like hidden treasures, that I've dusted off and approached with totally new eyes (and more experience).

I will create event/scene outlines. This sketches out the basic action, characters. I do this for my other projects too as I develop them to play with dynamics, subplot, character arcs, etc. It's kind of a movie skeleton. Though, as in your case, sometimes they are just a collection of scenes, dialogue snippets, or elements that aren't fully developed. Some writers put them on 3x5 cards. I usually just put them on a pad of paper, notebook, or my laptop.

They usually look something like this:

WT:  "Mouse in a Broom Closet"
1.  Jeremy Meets Hustus (mouse)
1A.  Jeremy's parents are fighting, he runs and hides in broom closet.
1B.  Jeremy hears something and sees the mouse.
1C.  Mouse runs away.
1D.  Jeremy tries to befriend mouse with cheese.  No luck.
2.  Jeremy Goes to School
etc.

If inspired, I might actually put some detail down. But really my only intent is to get the framework down. I find it satisfies the need to put something on paper and move on. I will sometimes attach a logline, character list/descriptions, and/or short summary. In the end, I feel like I've captured the story even if I've not written it out. Surprisingly, it makes it a bit easier to move on without a sense of abandonment.

I'm not saying this will work for you or in all cases. I find it helps me when the story is not fully fleshed but has potential and I need to work on other things.

 

[mad_hatter]

ScriptMonk!!! is quite right, typically movies that follow the antagonist do not work, especially when the antagonist is somebody so bad.

There are exceptions of course; take a look at “The Devils Rejects”. The Firefly’s are psychopaths, they antagonise their victims, yet these are our protagonists. That’s because Sheriff Wydell is played as being antagonistic towards them and more antagonistic than them, even though he’s an officer of the law and all he’s trying to do is capture these psychopaths.

But, however dejected you feel, if you think the script still deserves some work, keep at it. There is an audience out there for movies that do nothing more than follow a serial killer. Perhaps, get the script finished, then refine it, see what it’s missing, try and find a way to offer this character some kind of likeability factor, rather than have them just as a raging mad-man.

 

[barnaclelapse]

I think ScriptMonk is right, of course. Selling people on the antagonist above all else is a tricky sell indeed. It's not impossible, but it sure as hell isn't easy, and is sometimes dependent on a particularly charismatic actor playing the character. It also helps to still have a strong protagonist. I know you want to focus on the bad guy, and that's fine, but it's still nice if he has someone to bounce off of.

I don't think you should abandon the project. It might be kicking your ass, but it sounds like you still really believe in it. Maybe, you can put it aside for a while, or keep it around as a pet project, work at something else, get your confidence up and stop trying to force ideas for this one that's giving you so much grief?

 

[JoshL]

I think it's a good idea; as everyone has mentioned it's an uncommon way of presenting a story. There are lots of films that do it, however, but more in the "serial killer biopic/character study" genre than a straight up slasher. Maybe watch a few of them, and see how they build interest in the character, though many of them take a shortcut by presenting a real character that people are already interested in. Pre-built audience! It's easier to get people to watch a film about Ed Gein or Ted Bundy than it is Joe Random, slasher extrodianire (though that would make for a great black comedy)!

Anyway, as others have suggested, nothing wrong with shelving the idea for a bit, to clear your head a bit and keep yourself from turning into a monster! But when you get back to it (and I think you really should), check out some serial killer films, and character study films (Taxi Driver, for example).

Riffing on the idea for a bit, it might be neat to follow the usual group of characters/cannon fodder at the beginning of the film (the horror movie "20 minutes with jerks" section), but with one of them breaking off and becoming the monster. A second act that leaves the rest of the group behind, and just follows him, and then in the third when he starts killing the rest, keep the perspective with him, rather than the group of terrified teens.

 

[Feutus Lapdance]

I teach that every protagonist requires must meet three qualifications before the audience will care about him or her.
1. The protag must be humanly identifiable (that is, the character shows emotions and behavior in a human way that we are familiar within outselves and see in others)
2. The protag is worthy of our interest.
3. The protag is worthy of our respect.

.

Ok now disrespect......... how does this work on Amarican Psyco?

Looks like he uses only qualification 2...and a tiny bit of 1

(looks like Hannibal Lecter usses al 3)

 

[AllanBourne]

Thanks for the sound advice everyone

 

[kjones]

Couple of thoughts, AllanB, and you've certainly chosen a worthy writing challenge.

- Your first para contains sort of a contradiction. The current story is kicking your butt (been there, done that!), but your alternative stories "will take longer, and much more prep." ....You might set it aside for awhile, jump onto something else that will free your mind, and then come back to it with fresh eyes and mind. Been known to work...
- Remember that all of us have humanity-- even psychotic folks think what they're doing is right and will get them what they want.
- Films you might watch/read, off the top of my head, are Manhunter, Day of the Jackal, Das Boot (heck, I found myself rooting for those Nazi submariners!), as some that might be close to an approach you're after.

Best of luck, take care of yourself, and let us know how you come along.

 

[SCRIPTMONK!!!]

Ok now disrespect......... how does this work on Amarican Psyco?

Looks like he uses only qualification 2...and a tiny bit of 1

(looks like Hannibal Lecter usses al 3)

Well, I didn't like American Psycho, so in my personal opinion that movie fails with its protagonist. This doesn't apply to Hannibal Lecter, because Lecter wasn't his movies' protagonist (unless you mean that Hannibal Rises movie, but I never saw that one)

 

[AllanBourne]

Couple of thoughts, AllanB, and you've certainly chosen a worthy writing challenge.

- Your first para contains sort of a contradiction. The current story is kicking your butt (been there, done that!), but your alternative stories "will take longer, and much more prep." ....You might set it aside for awhile, jump onto something else that will free your mind, and then come back to it with fresh eyes and mind. Been known to work...
- Remember that all of us have humanity-- even psychotic folks think what they're doing is right and will get them what they want.
- Films you might watch/read, off the top of my head, are Manhunter, Day of the Jackal, Das Boot (heck, I found myself rooting for those Nazi submariners!), as some that might be close to an approach you're after.

Best of luck, take care of yourself, and let us know how you come along.

Thanks man, I've decided to put it aside and maybe pick it up next year. I have began work on my feature script/ and next short film(script). This idea has been sitting in my head for the last two years, I think it's finally time to unleash it.

The slasher that I was attempting to write was more along the lines of a movie like King Kong, where the monster in this case would obviously have killer tendencies but I wanted the audience to feel for him. See what his life was like before he became the monster, show the people around him and how they're just as bad if not worse than any monster could possibly be. At the end of the day I just felt like I couldn't write it now at this point in my life.