What's a good site to post a short film script?

harmonica44 · Jul 20, 2011

I have registered a rough draft of a short film script I wanna post for feedback from you guys. What sites are good for that? Thanks.

K I figured it out. Here's the link to both. The title of the script is only working title since I needed something to call them. I would not use those. Anyway, in Midget, I'm not entirely done. The character Clint, needs a funny line to say after killing the two women, in such an absurd scenario. Give me all the negative feedback. I know it's not a good script lol. But it's a short so I need to figure out how to convey a good story in such a short amount of time. The two features I am working on are a hell of a lot better. Any advice on how to improve the short is appreciated. Thanks.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1.../edit?hl=en_US

Let me know if the link works.

Dreadylocks · Jul 28, 2011

But then how does she 'throw her arms around him'?

harmonica44 · Jul 28, 2011

Well while he's kissing he doesn't notice that her arms are shorter, or he does, but just goes with it anyway. One of the two. The kiss is only like a second before he tears it off and sees what's underneath.

arrodiii · Jul 28, 2011

harmonica44 said:
Well while he's kissing he doesn't notice that her arms are shorter, or he does, but just goes with it anyway. One of the two. The kiss is only like a second before he tears it off and sees what's underneath.

When I read it, I didn't get the sense that they were kissing - I got that she attempts to seduce him but he pulls back and they don't kiss.

harmonica44 · Jul 28, 2011

Oh right. The kiss doesn't come. I could have it so he kisses her, in order to avoid so much of the arms from being noticed, if that helps. Not really I guess lol. Aside from that and the ending to touch up on, anything else that could use work in the previous scenes or anything? Thanks.

Dreadylocks · Jul 28, 2011

Or you could just do it really unrealistically and cheesy like it's an Airplane! movie. Just have some hot model in the burqua the whole time but then when you cut to his hands opening the outfit, that's when you put the midgets in.

harmonica44 · Jul 28, 2011

Yeah but the midget on top has to have the same face before the burqa comes off. otherwise it will come off more airplane-ish. i plan on doing it just like an older bond movie.

Synia · Jul 29, 2011

harmonica44 said:
Thanks for the input, but it's suppose to be a campy comedy though, like James Bond. When Bond fought Nick Nack in The Man With The Golden Gun, a lot of people got that it was suppose to be far fetched, same with fighting Jaws and his metal teeth, and superhuman strength. So if Bond can get away with being not being believable does that mean my script cannot?

mmm.. I'm not saying you can't get away with it. I'm saying your script DIDN'T get away with it. Some of those scenes you mentioned, they would be unbelievable if you think about it, but what you have now is just distracting.

Once again, i'm not saying you won't ever get away with something like this, because like i said, it has potential. But as it sits now, it's not good. It's not giving the comedy effect you want.

Right now it just feels like... mmm... you were shooting a serious action movie, then run out of budget, and swapped the rest of the film for an ending of a completely different style that's put together at the last second or something.

harmonica44 · Jul 29, 2011

Yeah I know what you mean, and that's what I was afraid of. Even though some Bond movies start off serious at first, fans know that it will get campy later a lot of time. Any suggestions to let fans know that it's campy from the start, even though it starts off with a kidnapping?

I got an email three days ago, asking to permission to show that short around. Did one if you send me that? No reply to the email so far.

harmonica44 · Jul 30, 2011

Okay I tried posting another script on googledocs, and when I click on the link, the script will not open. It will just ask if you wanna download it instead. I tried it again, and same thing. I want people to view it without having to download it. Is there another site besides googledocs, it seems that one keeps coming up with problems.