archived-videos What do you think?

I'll be honest at first looks, I thought this was going to be a trailer for a horror film, which I guess you could say it is in perspective. But besides that I think it looks good!
 
gorillaonabike said:
Thanks! Personally, I think it is too long and should cut it down. What do you think?
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I think the length is fine. You might want to do a little bit of color correction, whatever necessary to make it look more like a documentary.

Also, I'm not sure the whole scratchy effects in the beginning are necessary. If you just showed those people in the beginning in soft music before breaking into the other piece, it might also work. Just a thought.

Good luck with it. Looks like an uplifting story.
 
trueindie said:
... Also, I'm not sure the whole scratchy effects in the beginning are necessary. If you just showed those people in the beginning in soft music before breaking into the other piece, it might also work. Just a thought.

Good luck with it. Looks like an uplifting story.
Click to expand...

Thanks! Will think about the effects. I wanted it to start almost as a horror story so put horror music, horror feel, horror effects and then throw in the contrast followed by the words. Also, effects can cover up a multitude of sins...

Had feedback that the second part is way too long.
 
I don't know that the horror type effect works for the type of project it is, I mean it is well done, I definitely thought it was a horror film at the beginning, but I for being a documentary I don't think it really fits, but that is one opinion, and I could be off my rocker or something of that nature. *Stares up into space...*
 
It's a jarring contrast. It makes me think the doc is about the
horrors of losing everything. Sometimes contrast for the sake
of contrast doesn't work. If a portion of your doc is about the
horrors of losing everything I think you should show a little of
that. What you show is people living live to the fullest. It seems
they have lost almost nothing from the rest of this teaser. So
it makes your contrast feel exploitive.

How much of the finished project is about the horrors of loss?
 
directorik said:
It's a jarring contrast. It makes me think the doc is about the
horrors of losing everything. Sometimes contrast for the sake
of contrast doesn't work. If a portion of your doc is about the
horrors of losing everything I think you should show a little of
that. What you show is people living live to the fullest. It seems
they have lost almost nothing from the rest of this teaser. So
it makes your contrast feel exploitive.

How much of the finished project is about the horrors of loss?
Click to expand...

Thanks for your comment as I have a huge amount of respect for what you've done.

That's interesting. It's jarring... but is it too jarring? I went for jarring, noisy, jagged, almost confrontational. Also need to slap the words 'teaser trailer' all over it as it's just a teaser without words. Real trailer is coming up.
 
I understand what you were going for. I understand it's a teaser. I
understand it's a first cut.

With that understanding I feel that sometimes contrast for the sake of contrast
doesn't work. You do not give any tease in this teaser trailer that a portion of
your doc is about loss other than the jarring opening.

How much of your doc is about the loss these people have suffered?

If your doc does address the jarring, noisy, jagged and confrontational aspect
of these people then I'm thinking that you need to show a little of that in the
teaser. Right now it feels as if you are doing a “bait-and-switch” - that you
are trying to shock the viewer into watching a hopeful, positive doc buy teasing
them into believing it is something much more dark.

It looks great. It seems like a great subject for a doc. Perhaps jarring, noisy,
and confrontational isn't the best way to tease viewers. Perhaps it is. I would
like to see a little more in the teaser if it is.
 
Hi!

I think I agree with most of the above points. Not sure about the static at the start, and might just be me but I'm not a massive fan of the font. A bit 'serify' for my tatste.

Love the rest. Maybe some cc on it as mentioned. Overall though, great work.
 
directorik said:
I understand what you were going for. I understand it's a teaser. I
understand it's a first cut.

With that understanding I feel that sometimes contrast for the sake of contrast
doesn't work. You do not give any tease in this teaser trailer that a portion of
your doc is about loss other than the jarring opening.

How much of your doc is about the loss these people have suffered?

If your doc does address the jarring, noisy, jagged and confrontational aspect
of these people then I'm thinking that you need to show a little of that in the
teaser. Right now it feels as if you are doing a “bait-and-switch” - that you
are trying to shock the viewer into watching a hopeful, positive doc buy teasing
them into believing it is something much more dark.

It looks great. It seems like a great subject for a doc. Perhaps jarring, noisy,
and confrontational isn't the best way to tease viewers. Perhaps it is. I would
like to see a little more in the teaser if it is.
Click to expand...

Thanks, really useful.

Definitely bait and switch but then goes to another place.

As for 'how much' of the doc etc..., it depends if we can sell it. If we sell then the distributor will adapt this. However, it goes to a 'further' place that we don't want to give away in the trailer.

We don't yet have an ending because the person could die, be even more severely injured or come through covered in glory. Don't want to give away too much at this stage because it's a seriously scary possibility.
 
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Mmm, I've got to agree that you've gone too far IMHO.

Contrast is a very powerful filmmaking/storytelling tool but there are different degrees of contrast. Even when going for the most powerful effect possible, there still needs to be at least some element of continuity. In this case, every single element of the storytelling is in dramatic contrast, everything to do with the visual style and everything to do with the aural style. The result I perceived isn't a story told in a "jarring" style but two completely different, unrelated stories! It's as if you've cut together two sequences from two completely different films.

The impression I get is that you've made a relatively banal, run of the mill documentary, which you've then realised is too banal and so tried to make it seem less banal. However, you've gone too far and what you're left with is not just a documentary which is still banal but worse, a banal documentary which has now been crudely over dramatised - A classic give away of an amateur production/B-movie. I'm not saying this is what's happened or even that your documentary is necessarily banal, I'm just saying this is the impression you've given.

BTW, I'm not trying to be brutally insulting or "put you down" in anyway, I'm just being brutally honest because I think you can take it and because I think you've got the filmmaking chops to come up with a more sophisticated and more professional appearing solution.

G
 
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