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quinny

"An unexpected turn changes Peters feelings towards life"

This is my short i shot last december, been editing it on and off since then. RT 17 minutes

this is not the final edit, I'd just like to know what people think before I finish up the edits and move on to post production sound (note the lack of sound fx)

[URL="old link removed[/URL] 36MB

Update:

Heres the final cut

http://ie.youtube.com/watch?v=HJlxjLC1mk8
 
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anyone have a look?

bit more info on the shoot.

Was shot on HDV with the sony Z1
shot over 4 days with a crew of about 9, 5 of which were film students doing their work experience for me (had fun filling in their forms afterwards!) were only a few months into the course so were a bit raw
would have been a great experience for them a they all got a go at camera, ligthing, sound, production....

got a the equip/crew for free, only costs was on food and tape stock (got about 3-4 hours of footage)

my lead actress pulled out a day before we started so had to make a lot of phone calls to find replacement.

other threads on here that relate to it:
script thread
creating a heart
 
Cool film. There were a lot of moments that would seem slow, but the music carries a lot of the sequences. Overall, the story is really well done, and I like the fantasy convention it uses. Quite clever filmmaking. There's a lot of filler, and it's almost 15 minutes, so if I would do one thing, I'd cut a 10 minute version for festivals. Get rid of that filler, and it'll stand a better chance at fitting into timeslots. There's that one shot in the parking lot, where the lead male fades while walking- beautiful cinematography, but it halts the action dead. And the pay-off in the end would be more effective.

I liked it a lot though. But I think it could stand to be a bit shorter.
 
This is scary, but I find myself agreeing with Spatula! I enjoyed the film. I didn't find it too too long, but it may have dragged a little in places. I appreciated the rich color, great lighting/exposure, smooth editing, clean, effective camera, angles, etc. The fantasies kept me wondering, and watching.

I'd go on, if I had more time. Ditto most of what Spatula said.

p.s. If I cut anything, I'd shorten the laughing scene, since the laughing seemed less and less genuine, the longer it played. Your actors were pretty good, but that has got to be difficult to do.
 
cheers for the feedback

Spatula said:
Cool film. There were a lot of moments that would seem slow, but the music carries a lot of the sequences. Overall, the story is really well done, and I like the fantasy convention it uses. Quite clever filmmaking.
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why thank you, music was always going to be important to his film as there really isn't much dialogue

Spatula said:
There's a lot of filler, and it's almost 15 minutes, so if I would do one thing, I'd cut a 10 minute version for festivals. Get rid of that filler, and it'll stand a better chance at fitting into timeslots.
Click to expand...
well it's 17:30 i think but with that version i wasn't thinking of festivals, also the end credits are timed with the music and that track couldn't be used at festivals so i could speed them up,

ok whats this filler you're talking about? One scene that I find to drag on a bit is him kicking the wall (also not very happy with it) but it's important to the story.

Spatula said:
There's that one shot in the parking lot, where the lead male fades while walking- beautiful cinematography, but it halts the action dead. And the pay-off in the end would be more effective.
Click to expand...
interesting. that shot was meant to be my masterpiece using a tracking craine starting of where he was standind close up pulling back and rising as he walked. but we were about an hour behind at that stage and that set up would have taken a while to get right. so we just sent up the camera in the one spot and got him to walk. i had to put in the fades in the edit cos it was too long, plus i liked the shot and didn't want to cut it. also there is the next shot of him walking past the grave yard, that had been cut from the script several times but i put it back in "as i sign of death" cos he has just decided to kill himself.


Spatula said:
I liked it a lot though. But I think it could stand to be a bit shorter.
Click to expand...

again cheers always nice to hear, funny i couldn't see myself watching it at any festival as it stands right now

This is scary, but I find myself agreeing with Spatula! I enjoyed the film. I didn't find it too too long, but it may have dragged a little in places. I appreciated the rich color, great lighting/exposure, smooth editing, clean, effective camera, angles, etc. The fantasies kept me wondering, and watching.

I'd go on, if I had more time. Ditto most of what Spatula said.

p.s. If I cut anything, I'd shorten the laughing scene, since the laughing seemed less and less genuine, the longer it played. Your actors were pretty good, but that has got to be difficult to do.
Click to expand...

again thanks for you're comments.

Re the laughing scene, ya that could be cut a bit but as that was a fantasy it's not meant to look really genuine if you know what i mean

i guess one of the problems with the director editing, you want to keep everything.
 
Quinny, you don't have to cut or shorten anything. As far as I am concerned, your edit is good just the way it is. I was only thinking of where you could/should cut, if you had to cut something. I think the laughing, and maybe even the crying scenes could be a little shorter, without hurting the story. I really don't see how you could cut it to 10 minutes without damaging it.
 
Theres nothing wrong with having an affair! Her boyfriend was way too sensitive and smashing up his own bedroom is really melodramatic.

The film held my attention throughout and i like the music which sounds very celtic. Good acting, photography and i enjoyed the scene with her holding the bloody heart, which i found quite shocking. However i thought the scene of them laughing at his suicide note went on a bit too long, and if you tighten up the edits you could easily trim down the length to about 15 mins.

Love the picture of him looking out to the sea and ending was nice with him making the right decision.
 
yeah, i'm really happy with the way all the stuff at the cliff turned out, some beautiful stuff there. they were also the very first scenes we shot on day one.

I never mentioned earlier in the thread that this was my directorial debut, so if anyone has some constructive criticism on where it/I could improve, would love to hear it.
 
I've finally posted up the final cut of this film... not had much luck with festivals only got into 2 out about 15 or so submitted, no Irish festival took it up.... bastards :D

anyway let me now what ye think

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJlxjLC1mk8

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value="http://www.youtube.com/v/HJlxjLC1mk8"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/HJlxjLC1mk8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
 
Some really beautiful shots. I think the int. shots could improve but I know how tough it can be to shoot in a small area. Sometimes the shots just aren't there. Instead of introducing the lover in a car I would of had a flashback with some VO, explaining who he was. Nice short overall
 
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donniker137 said:
Some really beautiful shots. I think the int. shots could improve but I know how tough it can be to shoot in a small area. Sometimes the shots just aren't there. Instead of introducing the lover in a car I would of had a flashback with some VO, explaining who he was. Nice short overall
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Ya I wasn't all that pleased with the interior stuff, in fact at one stage I wanted to reshoot some of it but eh didn't. The house we had was very small so we just didn't have the space to get some of the shots I would have liked...

re: the lover, I don't think that would have worked, the whole point was that I didn't want to point out who he was. Why tell the viewer?

thanks for the replies...
 
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