I'm new here, and this is one of my first shorts, have a look. Constructive Criticism is always welcome by me.
http://youtu.be/VGsW0IWRtEI
Thanks for watching!
http://youtu.be/VGsW0IWRtEI
Thanks for watching!
Last edited:
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watch Tough To Kill - An acton movie about a reluctant hero
- Thread starter Joshua Irwin
- Start date
I also wanted to mention that this is a parody, tell me what any of you think about the ending.
40 mins?! holy crap.. Well, lets see how long I hold my attention in front of a computer. I bet it won't be longer than 10 mins at the max.
1. Ditch the intro titles. I don't know who these people are. Too long.
2. Dialog is a bit corny and unnatural. ut that's ok. I'll keep going. I like the sound! I CAN HEAR THE ACTORS!
3. Is.. is that a naked dude?? HAHA nice
4. Thats a cool show room! nice lighting. The bag lloks like a camera pouch.
5. lol nice reference to San Tsu.
6. HAHAHA these ninjas are hillarious!
7. You need to speed up action fight scenes. Drop frames maybe? Also sound design for punch sounds.....
Lol explosion..
Okay, thats as far as I've got. The time I watched it is... 7 minutes! My theory was correct.. Don't make short movies for internet longer than 10 minutes! Very few succeeded
So far my favorite thing was the dialog sound and lighting. Not bad. COuld use some work but better than 90% of youtube films i've seen.
I didn't like the pacing of the story. Too slow. The fight scenes too quiet and slow as well. I understand you were going for a parody, but it wasn't my type of humor.
Good job, and sorry could watch the whole thing. Can't do it!
1. Ditch the intro titles. I don't know who these people are. Too long.
2. Dialog is a bit corny and unnatural. ut that's ok. I'll keep going. I like the sound! I CAN HEAR THE ACTORS!
3. Is.. is that a naked dude?? HAHA nice
4. Thats a cool show room! nice lighting. The bag lloks like a camera pouch.
5. lol nice reference to San Tsu.
6. HAHAHA these ninjas are hillarious!
7. You need to speed up action fight scenes. Drop frames maybe? Also sound design for punch sounds.....
Lol explosion..
Okay, thats as far as I've got. The time I watched it is... 7 minutes!
My theory was correct.. Don't make short movies for internet longer than 10 minutes! Very few succeeded So far my favorite thing was the dialog sound and lighting. Not bad. COuld use some work but better than 90% of youtube films i've seen.
I didn't like the pacing of the story. Too slow. The fight scenes too quiet and slow as well. I understand you were going for a parody, but it wasn't my type of humor.
Good job, and sorry could watch the whole thing. Can't do it!
Lots of work went into this kudos. I got halfway through but it was a bit long for iPhone viewing.
Opening credits way too long though. Fight scenes seemed to have less effort put into them than other parts of the production. I liked the story and richness of the cast, I'll finish viewing at another time. Way to go.
Opening credits way too long though. Fight scenes seemed to have less effort put into them than other parts of the production. I liked the story and richness of the cast, I'll finish viewing at another time. Way to go.
boring intro, but looks nice... but for a project like this, i would move it all to the end instead.. you need to grab people early. and this will buy you 1-2 mins more of viewing...
silver car, first on the parking lot.. there's a colour thing on the left hood.
hillarious sun tzu comment...
if the action acting is supposed to be like that, fair enough.. but damn it's lacking in the first few fights...
well bar fight is also really bad... again, if that's the parody it's supposed to be, it's not really funny... actually just bad..
but the serving girl... damn she's cute...
hehe the deep voice on the hero, is kinda interesting...
with the speed the guy is introduced, after the 17 min mark, i kinda felt that the climax was about to hit...
and of course giving away his bike... wow was that a jump cut i just saw? just before he got shot.... ewww..
haha nice reveal...
is it two episodes in one? nope... just 20+ mins of black screen...
you know, you probably turn off more people with the 46 min video, than you would with a 20 min video...
anyways, that was my running commentary..
as to the end, i was just like... meh... it would have been better if she had shown him who she was earlier and just stabbed him in that tender moment...
nice enough movie... great looking footage.. sound was quite good.... the combat was horrendous though..
silver car, first on the parking lot.. there's a colour thing on the left hood.
hillarious sun tzu comment...
if the action acting is supposed to be like that, fair enough.. but damn it's lacking in the first few fights...
well bar fight is also really bad... again, if that's the parody it's supposed to be, it's not really funny... actually just bad..
but the serving girl... damn she's cute...
hehe the deep voice on the hero, is kinda interesting...
with the speed the guy is introduced, after the 17 min mark, i kinda felt that the climax was about to hit...
and of course giving away his bike... wow was that a jump cut i just saw? just before he got shot.... ewww..
haha nice reveal...
is it two episodes in one? nope... just 20+ mins of black screen...
you know, you probably turn off more people with the 46 min video, than you would with a 20 min video...
anyways, that was my running commentary..
as to the end, i was just like... meh... it would have been better if she had shown him who she was earlier and just stabbed him in that tender moment...
nice enough movie... great looking footage.. sound was quite good.... the combat was horrendous though..
40 mins?! holy crap.. Well, lets see how long I hold my attention in front of a computer. I bet it won't be longer than 10 mins at the max.
1. Ditch the intro titles. I don't know who these people are. Too long.
2. Dialog is a bit corny and unnatural. ut that's ok. I'll keep going. I like the sound! I CAN HEAR THE ACTORS!
3. Is.. is that a naked dude?? HAHA nice
4. Thats a cool show room! nice lighting. The bag lloks like a camera pouch.
5. lol nice reference to San Tsu.
6. HAHAHA these ninjas are hillarious!
7. You need to speed up action fight scenes. Drop frames maybe? Also sound design for punch sounds.....
Lol explosion..
Okay, thats as far as I've got. The time I watched it is... 7 minutes!
So far my favorite thing was the dialog sound and lighting. Not bad. COuld use some work but better than 90% of youtube films i've seen.
I didn't like the pacing of the story. Too slow. The fight scenes too quiet and slow as well. I understand you were going for a parody, but it wasn't my type of humor.
Good job, and sorry could watch the whole thing. Can't do it!
Very good advice. Thank you!
boring intro, but looks nice... but for a project like this, i would move it all to the end instead.. you need to grab people early. and this will buy you 1-2 mins more of viewing...
silver car, first on the parking lot.. there's a colour thing on the left hood.
hillarious sun tzu comment...
if the action acting is supposed to be like that, fair enough.. but damn it's lacking in the first few fights...
well bar fight is also really bad... again, if that's the parody it's supposed to be, it's not really funny... actually just bad..
but the serving girl... damn she's cute...
hehe the deep voice on the hero, is kinda interesting...
with the speed the guy is introduced, after the 17 min mark, i kinda felt that the climax was about to hit...
and of course giving away his bike... wow was that a jump cut i just saw? just before he got shot.... ewww..
haha nice reveal...
is it two episodes in one? nope... just 20+ mins of black screen...
you know, you probably turn off more people with the 46 min video, than you would with a 20 min video...
anyways, that was my running commentary..
as to the end, i was just like... meh... it would have been better if she had shown him who she was earlier and just stabbed him in that tender moment...
nice enough movie... great looking footage.. sound was quite good.... the combat was horrendous though..
Good observations, I thought the open was slow too, and this was my first time to do fight scenes. I learned a lot. Thanks for the comments. Good observations.
I do like your movie, even it has some serious problems. The good things are music, camera work, road movie feel and I think the plot was fine as well, a little twist in the end was nice.
Fight scenes were really bad tough, I think I would use the Kitano style instead, so slow tempo combined with fast cut bloody action, specially since you had so nice gun in the end, why not use those instead of fist fights.
Intro titles were about 45 seconds too long, I think one minute would be enough for that one.
Actors and dialogue were fine.
I think the road movie feel was the best thing for this movie, action was the worst.
But I think you will have a good future ahead of you, there were many things right in this movie
Fight scenes were really bad tough, I think I would use the Kitano style instead, so slow tempo combined with fast cut bloody action, specially since you had so nice gun in the end, why not use those instead of fist fights.
Intro titles were about 45 seconds too long, I think one minute would be enough for that one.
Actors and dialogue were fine.
I think the road movie feel was the best thing for this movie, action was the worst.
But I think you will have a good future ahead of you, there were many things right in this movie
Awesome! Believe it or not guys, this advice has been really helpful. I'm going to give the editing another pass and incorporate some of these suggestions.
With the Acton/Fight scenes I'll just have to do better next time.
With regard to the Gun vs Fist, that was the joke, they have all these hand to hand fights, then she kills him with a gun. I thought it would be fun to sort of pull that out of left field.
With the Acton/Fight scenes I'll just have to do better next time.
With regard to the Gun vs Fist, that was the joke, they have all these hand to hand fights, then she kills him with a gun. I thought it would be fun to sort of pull that out of left field.
Everything I was going to say about this film has already been mentioned,both the good and the bad. The main thing I wanted to say was kudos on even attempting something like this! With a little work on pace and basic production value, I think you are on to something good here...keep going by all means!
Good Luck!
Good Luck!
The two biggest problems with the sound are poor sync in general and poor SFX during the fight scenes, which makes them sound like a close up fights between two wooden puppets. There are numerous other problems, such as lack of perspective or depth in the mix, although the balance is not too bad compared to many indie shorts. I would also say that you have overused music, diminishing it's effectiveness.
Despite all the problems, at least the dialogue is clear and intelligible, which is certainly a plus point.
G
Despite all the problems, at least the dialogue is clear and intelligible, which is certainly a plus point.
G