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think i need other opinions

hey all.

got a short film script, I've been sitting on it for a while. have only shown a couple of friends. but i think i want some other thoughts.

its my first attempt. and i have been a tad bit apprehensive to show people.
i like it. but i don't know if i'm bias and other people will think its stupid.

if any one would like to take a read? i'd be grateful for any thoughts and feedbacl

..be gentle :blush:
 
I am rather new to all of this as well, but would be more then willing to give it a read and give you my thoughts.

I've been reading/watching great and terrible stories all my life so that should count for some experience ;)
 
Can you give a brief outline of the story?

its sorta about crime, or criminals more specific.
it doesn't really have like a 'lesson' or anything, its just kinda a story in these guys lives.
it has violence in it. the timeline is not in order.
i don't know really..

not to informative, i know...

it for a very low budget
i've also written the script with directorial directions because i plan to make it myself, so they're there for my benefit but you may be able to see where i am headed with some certain scenes.

if you read some of my other threads i think ive mentioned this script before
 
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