The Lingering Question . . .

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

As I see it, that's the best way to end a short script for a fund raising production. Leave the viewer wanting to know the answer in the feature version. It worked like a charm in the Emmy Award Winning Battlestar Galactica series where episodes end with questions the next episode would answer. And, in the TV series 24.

For my new script, I, CREATOR 2: GODDESS OF THE HUNT, that's the way I'm ending the story. When viewers want to know what happens next, they're hooked.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

And yes, it's the clifthanger ending. It is a good way to grab people's attention where they want to see more. The story has to build up to it.

 

[directorik]

It’s an interesting idea. But is it really the best way to end a
short script for a fund rasing production? I know a clifhanger
ending works well fo TV shows. Do you have any examples of this
working for fund raising for a short?

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

Nothing concrete. Have you seen the short to SAW? The way it ends with the creepy eyes behind the wall.

The idea there is not original. If you remember THE CHAMPIONS episode BEHIND A GILDED CAGE when Richard Barron was kept prisoner in a room where he was being watched by a mystery man, it's been done before.

But, people will still want to know who or what is hiding behind the wall.

The way the first MATRIX ended is another mystery ending where people would want to know what happens next.

In my case, I'm introducing new heroes joining the heroes from the first movie. One new hero is the Amazon goddess, Artemis. And, we are introducing the two main villains and showing how they are progressively becoming more dangerous around humans as they become more insane with power. They were once human, became cyborgs from battlefield bombing, their new abilities give them an invincibility complex, and they dare to challenge Artemis herself who is god to Amazon socities claiming they are Evolution.

In returning to their homeworld, the cyborgs who transformed these two villains from humans into cyborgs wonder what will they do with cyborgs who want humans to worship them or die? Will powering them down to human strength and putting them in military prison be enough? Will Artemis' warning of these two villains becoming a deadly caner to their planet come true?

These questions and more get answered in the next script.

 

[VPTurner]

The challenge with this approach is to be sure that you give enough information to intrigue the audience where they want to see more. I'm still a firm believer in beginning, middle, and end. You do need to wrap some things up. If all you have is beginning, middle, and then wait until the next installment to do the end, I personally think that's asking for trouble.

I felt MATRIX stood on it own. He accomplished his goal. He defeated the Agents and broke free of the boundaries. He freed his mind. And he got the girl. Wanting more? Sure. Needing more to complete the story? No. So perhaps that's the answer. Leave them wanting more, but not needing more.

I look at Battlestar Galactica as having several chapters in a book. Each season was a book with its individual chapters, and there was always a plan for several books. The audience goes into the story knowing that it's episodic. The two hour miniseries set everything up beautifully, introduced likable characters (at least for those of us who didn't care that Starbuck was a girl), and drew you into their plight. I looked forward to each step towards finding Earth so I could learn more about these interesting characters and follow their epic struggle. And the false ending was fantastic (to me, at least).

Do you have interesting characters? Is their struggle epic? Do you have a villain or villains stronger than the protagonist(s)? Will I care if they live or die?

I am your audience. I am a huge science fiction fan and an author of my own Cyborg script. Convince me that it's worth watching.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

When I said the story has to build up to the lingering question, that's what I meant. The story has to build up by progression that the villains are a danger to humans and that they are insane with an invincibility complex. The moment just cannot happen without the build up.



The fact that an all machine cyborg who helped design these trans cyborgs is worried about them being a danger around humans, which is shown when the cyborg expects humans to kiss their feet for saving them from dangerous killers, and the gaul of the trans cyborg to challenge the goddess Artemis for stopping them, alarms other cyborgs of their insanity. The one of villains tells Artemis and a cyborg leader they are Evolution. The villains lose this round to Artemis and cyborg Angela Bruno. But, just remember what happens when a woman is scorned.



Do they get worse and do more daring things? Yes!



Artemis is built up as an all knowing goddess and she warns the cyborg leaders that the villains will lead weak minded cyborgs to revolt against humans. And, the humans are no match for the cyborgs who are greater than humans in every way.



I build up to the cliffhanger.

I agree about setting it up like chapters in a book too. That's the way I'm working. Also introduce new characters to show a new side to the reocurring characters makes it interesting too.

 

[directorik]

I must have misunderstood your post.

The cliffhanger ending is used often - it can be used very
effectively. I got the impression you were writing about using a
short with a cliffhanger ending as a source for fundraising.

I agree with you, a good cliffhanger ending will leave the viewer
want to know what happens next. Isn’t there a difference between
an open ending and a cliffhanger?

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

I believe it's only an open ending if the next installment in the story isn't written yet.

 

[directorik]

I always thought of a cliffhanger in the more literal
sense: The hero falls off the edge and is hanging by
small branch. Meaning the narrative does not stop
like the 24 and Battlestar examples you gave - there
is more to come.

I felt the "Saw" short was an open ending. Meaning
the narrative is over and there could be more to come
- but there doesn't need to be. A lot of the Matheson
and Serling "Twilight Zone" scripts have open endings.
You could write another episode, but the story stands
on it's own. A cliffhanger cannot stand on it's own.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

This is more of a clifthanger where some of the characters going to a populated world of humans represent a great threat to the people and the danger leaves the heroes in a delema of what to do with them. Did the two cyborg leaders make the right decission in asking Artemis to spare the lives of the villains? This is knowing Artemis warned them the villains will be like a deadly cancer in being instrumental in causing a war between humans and cyborgs. I even have one of the Amazon soldiers calling the villains the playthings of Ares. As you may know, Ares is the insane god of war. So, I'm foreshadowing things to come.

 

[Zensteve]

For my new script, I, CREATOR 2: GODDESS OF THE HUNT, that's the way I'm ending the story. When viewers want to know what happens next, they're hooked.

It doesn't work like that, for films.

You remember Star Wars, right? You could make the argument that that was open-ended (after all, Darth Vader gets away with some henchmen pilots, the greater Empire itself still exists, allusions to pre-history and future have been made, the location of the Rebel base is still compromised, etc) BUT the actual adventure of the film itself has been neatly wrapped up and there is an "end".

Heck, even horror-film franchises wrap themselves up to give the viewer a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment (before the obligatory foreshadowing of the 11th sequel, right after the credits have finished rolling).

If you want to see a film that tries to "clifthanger ending (...) grab people's attention where they want to see more. The story has to build up to it." that fails, get a copy of Carnies and watch it. Absolutely nothing gets resolved at the very end, and it's all one big pitch to lead into the sequel that will probably not be made any time soon/ever. (You should also buy it, so my buddy makes some bucks back on the money he sunk into it )

You can't get away with blue-balling the audience, unless you've found that magic formula in the first film that demands a sequel - similar to how Matrix, Back To Future, Pirates Carribean, etc all had their parts 2 & 3 rapidly written & greenlit to capitilise on an existing (and memory-fresh) winning combination.

I know that you are very passionate about your I, Creator project, but I'm not seeing this as a winning business plan for your next film... and like it or not, film is a business. I still think you spent far too much money on your first cyborg film; I'm hoping that you can get the finer details figured out before spending so much on the sequel.

Trying not to ramble.

 

[directorik]

Star Wars is an excellent example. It ends. If no sequel
had been made that would have still been a satisfying
ending because our hero reached his goal.

The Empire Strikes Back is a cliffhanger. Our hero has
not reached his goal at the end of that film.

 

[VPTurner]

Ah, the memories. Back to the Future. Main story gets wrapped up, then Doc is back FROM the future. Beginning, middle, end, and then a new beginning. I still remember being in the theater during the second installment where it was a blatant setup for the third movie. I wasn't happy. But at least they ran some previews to hold you over.

I still remember talking to Peter Mayhew about the originally planned nine Star Wars movies. I must've been eleven. Seems like ages ago.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

It doesn't work like that, for films.

You remember Star Wars, right? You could make the argument that that was open-ended (after all, Darth Vader gets away with some henchmen pilots, the greater Empire itself still exists, allusions to pre-history and future have been made, the location of the Rebel base is still compromised, etc) BUT the actual adventure of the film itself has been neatly wrapped up and there is an "end".

Heck, even horror-film franchises wrap themselves up to give the viewer a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment (before the obligatory foreshadowing of the 11th sequel, right after the credits have finished rolling).

If you want to see a film that tries to "clifthanger ending (...) grab people's attention where they want to see more. The story has to build up to it." that fails, get a copy of Carnies and watch it. Absolutely nothing gets resolved at the very end, and it's all one big pitch to lead into the sequel that will probably not be made any time soon/ever. (You should also buy it, so my buddy makes some bucks back on the money he sunk into it )

You can't get away with blue-balling the audience, unless you've found that magic formula in the first film that demands a sequel - similar to how Matrix, Back To Future, Pirates Carribean, etc all had their parts 2 & 3 rapidly written & greenlit to capitilise on an existing (and memory-fresh) winning combination.

I know that you are very passionate about your I, Creator project, but I'm not seeing this as a winning business plan for your next film... and like it or not, film is a business. I still think you spent far too much money on your first cyborg film; I'm hoping that you can get the finer details figured out before spending so much on the sequel.

Trying not to ramble.

I've been told by people who read my vampire books that I have a very dense writing style with my stories and pack a lot of information.

Have you seen Percy Jackson & The Olympians?

The filmmakers re-imaged Greek Mythology for their story and it worked. I'm a fan of that movie because it turned out better than I expected it would be.

The next I, Creator in development now already has a very good and experienced filmmaker attached as a DP, which will give the production a good shot in the arm. He recommended I get a hold of a copy of THE DV REBEL'S GUIDE FOR MAKING A LOW BUDGET ACTION MOVIE ON THE CHEAP and I will when funds permit. He is also a wheeler / dealer who makes things happen.

I'm not blue - balling the audience anymore that ALIEN RESURRECTION ended. A half alien half human Ripley landing on Earth for the first time with the potential to give birth to new alien mutants like the ones on the space station she helped to destroy? Where's your imagination?

Yes, filmmaking is a business. I do my taxes for the business each year. I expect a good refund from the money spent in promoting the first movie this year. That refund will be reinvested in the short. I account for everything with my taxes.

As the DP told me last week, with the down time we have now, look for a sound guy. A guy at work who graduated from NYFA is giving me the business card of a sound guy tomorrow who is supposed to be very good. I'll find out. But, I'm lining up all my ducks.

 

[VPTurner]

....

I'm not blue - balling the audience anymore that ALIEN RESURRECTION ended. A half alien half human Ripley landing on Earth for the first time with the potential to give birth to nee alien mutants like the ones on the space station she helped to destroy? Where's your imagination?

Alien Resurrection ended. They escaped. Just because they foreshadow a life beyond the movie and the potential for the mayhem to continue doesn't mean that the film didn't stand on its own, just like the other examples mentioned.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

Alien Resurrection ended. They escaped. Just because they foreshadow a life beyond the movie and the potential for the mayhem to continue doesn't mean that the film didn't stand on its own, just like the other examples mentioned.

And if this short is the last production, it foreshadows a possible adventure to follow too.

There is a complete story in this short. That's why the script is 30 page.

But, if an investor wants to see what happens next, there's a script to carry the story further.

 

[VPTurner]

And if this short is the last production, it foreshadows a possible adventure to follow too.

There is a complete story in this short. That's why the script is 30 page.

But, if an investor wants to see what happens next, there's a script to carry the story further.

Just don't make it so complex like The Adventures of Starkiller that you give your potential investors a brain hemorrhage trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and you need to break it up into six to nine different movies spread out over thirty years to finally tell your whole story.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

There's a difference between a tight story and one that's too dense.

Don't forget, the script will go through a script consultant to make sure the story is good to go.

 

[VPTurner]

There's a difference between a tight story and one that's too dense.

Don't forget, the script will go through a script consultant to make sure the story is good to go.

But the complex universe and backstory you've setup in these discussion threads is already very dense. You could easily spend 30 pages on exposition alone. It'll be interesting to see your execution.

Hell, as a fellow sci-fi writer, I'll look at it and critique it. And I'm an electronics engineer by trade (20+ years in the computer industry), so I can help you identify holes in plausibility like a technical consultant. That's something a story consultant won't necessarily be able to do for you.

 

[Modern Day Myth Prod. LLC]

But the complex universe and backstory you've setup in these discussion threads is already very dense. You could easily spend 30 pages on exposition alone. It'll be interesting to see your execution.

Hell, as a fellow sci-fi writer, I'll look at it and critique it. And I'm an electronics engineer by trade (20+ years in the computer industry), so I can help you identify holes in plausibility like a technical consultant. That's something a story consultant won't necessarily be able to do for you.

I want to give it one more going over after my friend gets back to me on it.

The back story covers the first three scripts and not just the 30 page short. I connect the dots from the first 3 stories to give it a better understanding.

The purpose of the 30 page story is to give Artemis a proper introduction, show what Gail Storm's Black Ops Special Forces Cyborgs do for Delta Four, show two major nations that are at war with each other, and introduce the two villains for this story and the next. I believe the short accomplished these objectives in 30 pages.

Just give me a few more days and you can send me a private message to where to email it to you.

I've worked in the field of repairing copiers, print servers, computers, and various digital systems for over 20 years and traveled with design engineers to show them field problems. One engineer used to work for the military with AI development for recognition software and decision making. I got some good information from him.

I don't know if you are familiar with Dr. M. Kaku of CCNY. He does specials for CNN and the BBC. He is noted for the string theory of the universe. I used to interview him when I attended CCNY on science. He's done specials on AI and quantum computers and shown fascinating videos from Japan on how SURROGATES exists in today's world. YouTube has some videos on Dr. Kaku's interviews for News networks.