I think it's great that you folks made this little feature. I too enjoyed it for the B style and for its kind hearted story. More on what I liked in a moment but let me point out a few things if you don't mind.
Beginning when car came down the street you unfortunately picked up a BMW in the shot, but at least it was a roadster.
In the auditorium I wish there were not so many empty seats in some shots. Not a major issue but moving extras around could have solved that. (Note, it wasn't the seats in front of the main characters but the ones behind the actors.)
@15:40, there were some continuity issues when the two are talking. She reacts with different a posture which for me is a bit jarring and took me out of the scene.
At my home connection it did freeze up @ 17:26 but my connection at work it did go much smoother. It just stunk that I had to wait to finish watching it.
@ 17:50 his buddy with Hawaiian shirt is not with the group. But he magically appears in 17:55 calling him out. Also, @ 17:55 you have so much head room to show us the ugly, modern fire alarm (also at a locker scene too). Also, hearing the people lightly talking in the back ground with the sound of kids eating and chatting would have given this scene more atmosphere.
Montage wasn't bad but I think you could have been orchestrated it better (no pun intended). I really wanted to know the reasoning behind him being rejected at some point (sooner) and the whole montage could have also been quicker.
@25:32 there is way too much space in the right of the frame.
Workshop scene could have used more light at times.
At the end of the workshop he has to climb down a ladder but when the girls left it definitely looked like outside when they went out the door. I understand suspension of disbelief but you really need to sell it more. But I guess that B film thing is something you wanted.
Sound could have been better throughout but I really did like the sound effect you placed in it. The only time I thought one effect was really unneeded was the toilet flush in the montage. Reason being it was the only sound effect during that time. The music was good but was over powering for me after a while. At times I felt you could have faded in and out of it. Ambient sound could have been better too. The editing of sound was choppy at times. But with most sounds that were used when an action happened on screen it seemed you got a good portion of them right. In general, even though it's a B film, it could have had a little bit more tender love and care.
A good portion of the time you did have decent lighting. In the theme of B films it all pretty much worked without being creative.
I feel you folks played it safe with the choice of shots and I think you should try to be more creative in the future. Try not to make them so flat and try at least to use more depth in the frame. Two people talking against a flat background just gets boring after awhile.
Colors throughout seemed fine (if it wasn't too dark because of lack of lighting). Besides a few mistakes with showing modern technology, you did a great job with the '50's theme. I feel that the workshop set design was a excellent job. Costumes were great.
Acting was good with some and okay with others but again, with the B film theme you really don't want the best acting in the world. But I bought it and you work with what you have.
Story was fine and nice to see a film which wasn't harsh but instead sweet. I think this was a play or ballet which of course goes against most screenwriting conventions. So as long as you understand that I'm not going to complain and just buy what you have presented. But note, I believe I read this information before watching and if I were someone who knows screenwriting and didn't read that, I might get frustrated.
But in all I think the entire crew (actors/actresses included) should feel proud of this film. Looked like a lot of fun to work on and came out with a neat product. With all the things I've said I still was able to enjoy myself while watching it. I hope all of you keep up the good work and keep making films.
Good luck!
