Somebody Make This Movie!

CamVader

CamVader

A murder mystery dating back to 1879 has been finally resolved after a skull unearthed in BBC legend David Attenborough's garden was formally recognised as that of a woman murdered by her maid 132 years ago.

Julia Martha Thomas, a wealthy widow aged 55, was killed by her 29-year-old housekeeper Kate Webster very close to Park Road in well-to-do Richmond, but her head was never found.

The case became known as the 'Barnes Mystery', which gripped London at the time.

Webster, a convicted thief and fraudster, chopped up Thomas with an axe, boiled the remains and gave the dripping to local children to eat. Link

Casting suggestions?
 
Okay... so, Madonna as Thomas and Lady Gaga as Webster.

So, details, details. Any clues to their relationship and as to why it would end in murder?
 
Naomi Watts as the killer

Terrence stamp as the 1800's police chief

Ian Mcellan as the guy you think is the killer but isn't

Sigourney Weaver as the murder victim

Anyone except David Caruso as the modern day investigator

Jake Busy as a cameo role, just gets run over by a horse and carriage during the 1800s car chase scene

Taylor Swift as the added in fictional younger sister, who you put full size on the box cover to increase rentals, but only appears in the film for 5 seconds

executive producer Uwe Boll, so you'll get all your money whether the film is good or not, and a sequel!
 
Last edited:
Aaron M said:
Do you secretly run Fox by any chance, Nate?
Click to expand...

As the words appear on the giant boardroom screen, a hush falls over the room.

At the end of the long table, a shadowy figure emerges into the light. "How do they know it's me? Every time we think we've gotten inside their inner circle, our cover gets blown"

A short bald man at the far end of the table leans forward, "we can spin this, we'll simply discredit the truth by acting as though it's ridiculous"

"then link whatever we want them to think with patriotism", one of the marketing executives on the opposite side of the table shouts enthusiastically.

The dark figure leans back into the tall chair and gives a quick hand signal. A man on the right side of the table quickly sketches out a reply, then passes it over to legal on the other side of the table, who passes it to the proxy. The proxy types-


"No way buddy, just a regular regulation independent filmmaker like you. Not that being the head of fox would be bad. No channel has ever been such a wellspring of honest and balanced dialouge, though sometimes qustioned by people that Hate America. Also anyone that does not believe in the destruction of the middle class is a member of the natzi party and a communist sympathizer."

A third marketing guy in glasses pipes up "nailed it"
A fourth says "that's just how the kids are talking these days"
 
Mabe cast Thora Birtch as the killer, shes the right age, can do a very good english accent, and she plays a scary as hell murderer, just watch the movie The Hole (2001).
 
richy said:
Okay... so, Madonna as Thomas and Lady Gaga as Webster.

So, details, details. Any clues to their relationship and as to why it would end in murder?
Click to expand...
They could play mother and daughter, but we'd have to get Jennifer Lopez to reprise her "maid" role. :cool:
Nate North said:
Naomi Watts as the killer

Terrence stamp as the 1800's police chief

Ian Mcellan as the guy you think is the killer but isn't

Sigourney Weaver as the murder victim

Anyone except David Caruso as the modern day investigator

Jake Busy as a cameo role, just gets run over by a horse and carriage during the 1800s car chase scene

Taylor Swift as the added in fictional younger sister, who you put full size on the box cover to increase rentals, but only appears in the film for 5 seconds

executive producer Uwe Boll, so you'll get all your money whether the film is good or not, and a sequel!
Click to expand...
Excellent choices and omissions!
VIVIIX said:
Mabe cast Thora Birtch as the killer, shes the right age, can do a very good english accent, and she plays a scary as hell murderer, just watch the movie The Hole (2001).
Click to expand...
Now we're getting somewhere.

We have creative license to cast Hannibal Attenborough. There is one guy I can see in this role.
 
Just cast a bunch of nobodies. Shoot the whole thing as a re-creation, and have it narrated by the great Mr. Attenborough himself. :D
 
always get at least one b-lister for the cover, or no sales

we got an actor from the sopranos for 5 k. forbidden to say which.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top