I liked the set design and look esp the fog
your youtube export settings are not good enough, I have a 600d and there should be no difference but yours is slightly moggy so I would test out different settings, if you have compressor let me know and I can send you a good preset that's optimized for youtube.
As for the short itself, its too slow theres 4 minutes of nothing really happening, I would have crammed it into 1 minute with lots of jump cuts to heighten the intense feeling then make it slightly slower build up to the ... moment setting up everyone for the fall.
but its better than other things I have seen good job just work on that storyline a bit more