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Script Revisions - Please Advise

Uranium City

Pro Member
indiePRO
A while ago I posted a tiny short and got some great feedback. Here is a rewrite I'm hoping you'll consider, and let me know what you think. The general gist is "You Can't Go Home Again" but further than that, "You Shouldn't Want To."

On The Open Road:

View attachment On The Open Road.pdf
 
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