archived-videos Scarred for Life I

I just finished the editing of a short doc I'm working on for a contest. Since it's my first one I was wondering if I could get some very strict and brutally constructive critism about it. I will remove it from the server by Monday

The URL of the file is: http://cootdogproductions.com/DOC/Scarred1b.wmv

Please let me know your thoughts. Please be brutally honest.

thank you


PS... it's 18 megs and 5 min long.
 
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CootDog said:
so I'll probably do that in Combustion.

Sorry to go off subject, but did Combustion come down in price or something? I thought I remember a few other people talking about Combustion in their short films. I always thought this was very pricey.

Ok...back on subject...
 
CommanderGoat said:
Sorry to go off subject, but did Combustion come down in price or something? I thought I remember a few other people talking about Combustion in their short films. I always thought this was very pricey.

Ok...back on subject...

Actually you can find it for less than $300 for student discount. May be able to find it on Ebay.


Poke:
I actually have that spot at the end where we see Carlos say, "Yes" and laughs. I kept it in the timeline but just muted the video. I like it too and it will be in there in the end.

Also, the deadline is the 30th of this month... I'm going to have it completed this weekend, THEN will work on the short for the IndieTalk contest. :director:
 
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Update on Scarred for Life

I've been working on this still... I want to send it out Monday. Deadline is the 30th. I'll have all tonight with no wife and kids and will bulk up on it.
The narration needs work. There are 3 times the narrator comes in. The last are very simular and will be changed.

I added more morale.

I did different transitions (as a test) tell me what you think about the one at :40

I removed some photos to show more Carlos, especially when he looks at the camera talking about specific things. I think that it gives it more of an emphasis.

I know about the photo at 3:18 showing the background and have fixed it.

I'm not using the titles from Vegas... I don't like them but haven't brought it into Combustion yet for that. I want the Vegas work done first.

Please let me know what you think.

Almost forgot the filename:

[REMOVED]
 
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Ok, I am commenting on this from a purely military perspective Coot, I know your intentions were good but I am having a hard time seperating the filmmaker from the responsible United States Air Force Staff Sergeant in listening to some of the things Carlos had to say.

If I was Carlos' supervisor and I saw this he would be in HOT water for numerous things he has said. I don't believe in sugar coating anything but as militay members we are held to a high standard and know there are things we can say and things we can't. We know who we are allowed to talk to and who we are not. We know when we are allowed to talk and when we are not.

I am pretty sure Carlos did not have permission from his public affairs office to be interviewed for this. If he did, about 1/3 of his comments would not have been allowed. No military member in his right mind would tell anyone their unit is streched thin, they're working the shifts of two, three people. This is a major operational indicator to anyone, including the enemy. This is a small piece of information which if used correctly could get people killed! He would never be allowed to publicly criticize military leaders, this shows lack of cohesion amongst a team (a team that counts on each other to stay alive) and poor discipline on his part. If he were seperated from the military I could overlook it but he was only on 15 day R&R. Also, he never would be allowed to comment on the state of morale no matter how low he feels it is. Stating this does nothing to help improve it.

While I agree with some of what Carlos says, he was very irresponsible in some of the things he said. He made some valid points, but he also made comments that could bring him serious trouble as a military member. He is there for the right reason, and that should speak volumes but became dilluted when he choose to give you an interview.

I apologize for these comments, but Carlos is in a situation where the person to his left and the person to his right, depend on Carlos for survival, for their lives. If I was one of those people I would want to know he could handle it responsibly. I work in a training environment where I preach this! You go as a team, you return as a team, and if need be you die as a team. What happens as a team stays within the team and not on a camera half way across the world.

Coot, once again I apologize for being blunt about this piece, but as a member of the military, reading daily about people dying in Iraq and putting myself as a member of Carlos' unit watching this I couldn't be quiet. I blame Carlos for using poor judgement in the things he has said.

I think you did a great job putting the photo's together and this is an impressive piece from what you started with. The photos you choose tell a story all to themselves. Please do not view my words as an attack on you or your work, both of which I respect. As one of the few military members part of Indie Talk I wanted you to know my viewpoint as a member of the military. I have had my say, will get off my soapbox, and not post in this manner again.
 
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Scooter,
I sincerely respect and thank you for your comments. Me, not being military minded, didn't even think of this even getting back to him. In all actuality, what is said could cause such an uproar, it could bring it out into the mainstream media. I will contact him and get his permission before I submit this to the contest. If it's a no-go, I'll re-work version 2.

On the other hand, Carlos is a rap artist named, Singe. He took a photo out in Iraq which landed him on the front cover of a magazine. That cover was talked about in the Washington Post, Radio, and TV(briefly). It is very contreversial which was seen as a good thing. Rap artists create contreversy to get noticed to get record sales. On the album he finished just before he went to Iraq, there are 2 military tracks. Now in Baghdad, he is recording a full military album. The guestbook on his website (http://www.DankMobb.com) has just gone crazy. Many people from around the world have come on there to show their support for Carlos and what he stands for. I will get his permission before I use it though. His higher-ups have buzzed about the cover, but nothing has happened to him yet.

Here's the cover:

img-1084824152.jpg
 
Will scrap V3a and re-work V2a

It was decided to not release that footage until Carlos is done with his tour in Iraq and back on US soil. With that, I will be re-working version 2a. I'll post when an update is done.
Scooter, thanks again for your comments.


We have someone that is interested in producing a feature length Docu on Carlos... his life is crazy....
 
Scooter. As military people, I understand that you and Carlos are not the same as a regular civilian. However, I find it MORE important for the military to be honest about it's own problems.

Carlos didn't give away anything top secret. He simply shed a less than flattering light on how the military is being run in his area. Since he is IN the military, I actually think that he has MORE of a right to free speech on this subject. He truly knows what's happening over there, as opposed to say, me. I believe that his opinions and observations (especially negative) are very important if the military seeks to improve itself...and certainly, this being an election year, all aspects, good and bad (not secret, of course), of this war need to be exposed (within reason...I'm not saying that EVERYTHING needs to be known, but general things, like morale, treatment of prisoners, purpose of the war, how soldiers feel about it, etc.).
 
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Logan, what scooter is basically saying is that Carlos should keep his mouth shut because we are at war and certain things he said could be used by the enemy. When you are going against and opponent in anything (war, football, an online film competition), you play your cards close to the vest in order not to give important details about your operating procedure. Certain things Carlos said in the doc could be taken by the enemy and used to combat our troops. Carlos himself knows this, this is why he asked Coot to delay the realease of the original version.

Now, as far as soldiers being allowed freedom of speech, you said it yourself, military men and women are not the same as you and me. They operate under a different code of conduct. This is necessary for an army to function properly.

One more thing, for every soldier like Carlos, you're likely to find ten soldiers with a rosier view of our current situation. We can argue on if they are being duped into this view, but as it stands the majority of soldiers I run into (and I run into a lot; Austin is approx. 100 miles from Ft. Hood - the largest military installation in the world; and I've been there numerous times since the war in Iraq began) are upbeat about our progress in Iraq.

Poke
 
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That's wierd. I have several friends who fought in Iraq who say pretty much the same things that Carlos said.

Maybe I didn't catch what Carlos really said that set y'all off, but all I really got from that film was that "morale is down" and "our troops are stretched thin"...

...Maybe that is way too much info. I don't think so. I've heard that same criticizms on the news, so it's no secret. I think that some military leaders MAY need to get their act together, and it starts with someone who is over there...maybe he should only voice these problems to other military before saying those things in an interview, but I was just pointing out how this situation looks from my point of view.
 
LOGAN L Productions said:
That's wierd. I have several friends who fought in Iraq who say pretty much the same things that Carlos said.

That may be the case. I'm not arguing that there are some soldiers who have a negative view of the current war, I'm just saying that if you really started asking military men and women about the status of our operation Iraq, you'd find an overwhelmingly positive view.

LOGAN L Productions said:
Maybe I didn't catch what Carlos really said that set y'all off, but all I really got from that film was that "morale is down" and "our troops are stretched thin"...

...Maybe that is way too much info. I don't think so. I've heard that same criticizms on the news, so it's no secret.

Nothing he said really "set me off". It isn't anything I haven't heard before. I was responding to who scooter said, and what you said to him. But let me touch on "morale is down" and "our troops are stretched thin". MORALE IS DOWN - do you really want to be telling the enemy that your morale is down? This could be viewed as a weakness. OUR TROOPS ARE STRETCHED THIN - is this something you'd want enemies to know? There's a quote, from whom I can't remeber, that goes something like "Simple statements can end a war." Or maybe this quote is better, "Loose lips sink ships."

LOGAN L Productions said:
maybe he should only voice these problems to other military before saying those things in an interview

That would be the appropriate thing to do. It calls to mind a line from Saving Private Ryan - "I don't gripe to you. I don't gripe in front of you. You should know that." That's Capt. John Miller's view on it anyway. Gripes and complaints go up the chain of command not down, and certainly not to civilians.

Poke
 
Poke said:
I'm just saying that if you really started asking military men and women about the status of our operation Iraq, you'd find an overwhelmingly positive view.

But how do we know know they are telling us what they really feel? Because like Scooter said...

scooter said:
I am pretty sure Carlos did not have permission from his public affairs office to be interviewed for this. If he did, about 1/3 of his comments would not have been allowed.
 
Thanks Poke for putting in simple terms. The quote from Private Ryan nailed it perfect.

Logan, it is OK for the news to say morale is down, that is their job. There is no ratings for saying everything is hunky dory, nor would that be the case with any war. For a military member to state that morale is down, true or not, is not conducive to good discipline, that is expected from miltary members. This also goes towards leadership and teamwork.

My commander would never say anything negative regarding our mission in Korea. If he does, as an authority figure, that tells everyone it is OK to talk like that, to think like that. Carlos, who I can guess has an outgoing personality and has people looking up to him, may be responsible for a group of men who look to him for leadership and guidance and he, nor any other military member should think lightly of that responsibility. Carlos' words influence others actions and attitudes.

We are at war. It is not a time for pool parties and BBQs, we know and the pubic knows it is not all happy days for people in Iraq. To say morale is low is an invite to the enemy to keep hitting us because we are losing our resolve for this war. When that hapens, more people die.

I hope that helps support my original post. I, in no way, condone hiding facts or disguising the truth. But I do believe as military members we are held to a higher standard and right now we need to focus on winning this war and getting everyone home alive as opposed to telling anyone about what is happening on the inside when that is the job of the reporters to do. Silent professionals get the job done, no matter how bad it sucks!
 
This is it!

Well I think you'll be happy with the latest version.

Check it out, tell me what you think...

http://cootdogproductions.com/Scarred/ScarredSMALL.wmv

Carlos has a lot of surporters over there, Including some of those above him, SGTs and such. He has many soldiers that just come up to him showing support for the magazine article. Carlos believes that you should follow and acheive your dreams and goals. His dream was to be on the cover of that magazine and I helped it come true. I sent the photo to the magazine and the SR Editor contacted me that night. They wanted it for the cover and did a 3 page article on Carlos. Carlos is a very uplifting individual, a positive spirit that spreads this energy to others. When his families house burned down, he was the one that lifted them up and made them look on the bright side. He always sees a bright side and lives there, positively.

For that reson, I changed the ending and I hope you all like it...

If you can, you should read the article in the magazine. PM or email me if you can't find a copy.
 
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