Review this scene?

[MarkTheSecond]

This is a short scene (about two pages) that I re-wrote from an older script.
Let me know what you think. All feedback is welcome.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1bBoI25xmuHJAhkS2N5faapK3Jxu-YKgi/view?usp=sharing

 

[MarkTheSecond]

Oh, I mean it would be pretty expensive to shoot.