Question about wiping the poop from my butt-hole.

Cracker Funk

Cracker Funk

A friend of mine told me that you're supposed to crumple the toilet paper up, into a ball. He says that this method is fastest, will wipe a wider area, and is more likely to get into the deeper crevices.

But he says that this method is only effective when using double-ply toilet paper. He says that with single-ply toilet paper, you're too likely to accidentally go astray and get some poop on your fingers. With single-ply, he recommends a more methodical folding technique.

Is there a way that I can effectively use the crumpling method, with single-ply toilet paper?
 
Not sure…

Could you try the “One Square” method? What you do is poke your finger through the middle of the sheet, then wipe your anus with your finger. The poop is then cleaned from your finger via the process of pulling the sheet off your finger.

Might that be an option?
 
When I was a USNavy corpsman attached to a USMC air wing the Marines were taught to
  1. Take a single govt issue square of TP
  2. Fold it in half
  3. Fold the half in half making a square quarter
  4. Pinch the folded corner out the size of a dime
  5. Save that little round dime-sized TP spot
  6. Insert index finger through the hole
  7. Scrape feces from anus with fingernail
  8. Use dine sized TP spot to wipe feces out from under the nail
  9. Remove index finger from hole
  10. Dispose of Tp and TP spot in authorized waste disposal container

Butt technology has changed in the last few decades.
Things may have changed since then.

And of course, if you have no fingernails that could be a problem, or if you have no index finger, or if another service member taught you to make a square hole instead of a round hole (scoff!), or if in the Boy Sproutsyou were taught yet another procedure.
And I'm sure you could find another dozen reasons why this process wouldn't work.

The main point is to ask opinions instead of actually wiping your @ss. Ever.
Just discuss it. Don't do it.

GL!


Stinky Ray
 
rayw said:
When I was a USNavy corpsman attached to a USMC air wing the Marines were taught to
  1. Take a single govt issue square of TP
  2. Fold it in half
  3. Fold the half in half making a square quarter
  4. Pinch the folded corner out the size of a dime
  5. Save that little round dime-sized TP spot
  6. Insert index finger through the hole
  7. Scrape feces from anus with fingernail
  8. Use dine sized TP spot to wipe feces out from under the nail
  9. Remove index finger from hole
  10. Dispose of Tp and TP spot in authorized waste disposal container
Click to expand...

Sir I believe your order is wrong :hmm:
 
Last edited:
Hmm... there seem to be different methods of approach... we may need to start a crowd-funding campaign to raise money so we can get to the bottom of this. :D
 
Butt I herd an uncited source comment that you need too know what your dooing before starring a crowdf#cking campaign?
 
Okay.

CURTSEY.gif
 
An uncited source read an email from Nigeria to not flush the toilet when the electricity is out because the utility company's pumps will not be working and can't get the poopy ca-ca outta the toity.

Is this true?
 
I find I have much more control of the wipe with multi-sheet folded technique (it also allows the subject to use either single or multi-ply). It takes more than crumpled, but crumpled is too random and has the chance to cause undesired contact which the TP is meant to prevent. I don't know where you all learned the unclean wiping method with the hole... but I can't condone that at all from a health perspective.

It's really all about eliminating waste, but sanitation must be considered.
 
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