logline Please read my longline!

[willtryit]

Hey guys, this is a longline I just made for a feature im trying to write. its my first feature, and really my first time being critical about a longline like this. Please tell me what you think and what I should fix.

-An Undercover FBI agent based in North Korea falls involve with a woman on the other side.

 

[indietalk]

I was also going to offer FBI advice etc. but you can get lost in the minutia. We're all here talking about FBI and there is not even a story or real idea. Just a random thought posted as a logline.

 

[indietalk]

Now, on to your script. Can you describe your story in ten (10) words or less. It's a film about ________________________ . Not a logline, although it should help you with that, but it provides the central core of your story.

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