I would be interested in what other writers think about using or not using phones in scenes. My mentor for the feature I am writing has said to almost all out avoid the use of phone dialog, at least in action/thriller stories (I am writing a supernatural thriller). But then there are scripts like Dark Water (I am reading it now) that make extensive use of phone dialog.
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Phone usage in scripts ?
- Thread starter Joe999
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What? Your mentor has told you to avoid phone dialog? That makes almost no sense at all...
Some of the most important plot points are made during phone dialog. Maybe you're writing a crime thriller and the killer calls the protagonist detective to slip an important clue... Surely you would not want to omit that information.
Are you sure you didn't misinterpret the point he/she was trying to make?
Some of the most important plot points are made during phone dialog. Maybe you're writing a crime thriller and the killer calls the protagonist detective to slip an important clue... Surely you would not want to omit that information.
Are you sure you didn't misinterpret the point he/she was trying to make?
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From an audience perspective, making a phone call believable depends on the actor, particularly if you don't have the audio of the other side of the conversation included.
It's not easy, try picking up a dead phone and pretend to talk to it, we're so used to there being a sound in the phone that when it's quiet it puts you off.
To watch a true master of on the phone acting, watch some episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm", apparently Larry David loves to include phone calls in his shows, maybe because he is so good at it.
I had noticed that about him and then read it someplace in a review so apparently he's aware of his talent.
As a filmmaking tool you can't beat a phone, for an inanimate object it can evoke all sorts of emotions and sometimes build all kinds of suspense just by ringing!
Neil
It's not easy, try picking up a dead phone and pretend to talk to it, we're so used to there being a sound in the phone that when it's quiet it puts you off.
To watch a true master of on the phone acting, watch some episodes of "Curb Your Enthusiasm", apparently Larry David loves to include phone calls in his shows, maybe because he is so good at it.
I had noticed that about him and then read it someplace in a review so apparently he's aware of his talent.
As a filmmaking tool you can't beat a phone, for an inanimate object it can evoke all sorts of emotions and sometimes build all kinds of suspense just by ringing!
Neil
I suppose it depends on how well it's done. I think it's ridiculous to not consider writing some on-phone dialogue if it's appropriate for the scene. All rules can be broken, if they're broken in the right place, including your mentors.
Example: Air Force One... Harrison's on the phone with his Vice Prez Glenn, and the terrorists hold him at gunpoint. He drops the phone into his pocket on, so the white house just hears the shouts over the speakerphone and then gunshots... the tension in the scene was great, because when you don't know what's happening over the phone, you're there with the white-house characters... Another example: Apollo 13 was over a comlink half the time. That's like an entire movie over the phone. Point is it can work well if it serves the story...
in my opinion anyway...
Example: Air Force One... Harrison's on the phone with his Vice Prez Glenn, and the terrorists hold him at gunpoint. He drops the phone into his pocket on, so the white house just hears the shouts over the speakerphone and then gunshots... the tension in the scene was great, because when you don't know what's happening over the phone, you're there with the white-house characters... Another example: Apollo 13 was over a comlink half the time. That's like an entire movie over the phone. Point is it can work well if it serves the story...
in my opinion anyway...
It does seem odd for a mentor to say to avoid the use of a phone almost completely. I have some doubts about my mentor--not a good thing-- but i have already paid for her help she has given good advice and ideas thus far, just some shaky advice sometimes. Just today I emailed her about giving me an example of passive versus active use of verbs as I rewrite my script to make as much use of active verb tense as possible; well, she said "Jim is running to the car" is passive, and "Jim runs to the car" is active tense; from what I googled that is not necessarily true, not a good way to explain that to a mentee (me). This leads me to lose confidence in my mentor.
Much better examples of learning active and passive would seem to me to be:
Much better examples of learning active and passive would seem to me to be:
http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/grammar/act-pass.htm#Recognize
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html
http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/activepassive.html
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html
http://www.englishpage.com/verbpage/activepassive.html
It does seem odd for a mentor to say to avoid the use of a phone almost completely. I have some doubts about my mentor--not a good thing-- but i have already paid for her help she has given good advice and ideas thus far, just some shaky advice sometimes. Just today I emailed her about giving me an example of passive versus active use of verbs as I rewrite my script to make as much use of active verb tense as possible; well, she said "Jim is running to the car" is passive, and "Jim runs to the car" is active tense; from what I googled that is not necessarily true, not a good way to explain that to a mentee (me). This leads me to lose confidence in my mentor.
Much better examples of learning active and passive would seem to me to be:
Joe999,
Your mentor might be telling you this for the same reason most gurus and books tell wannabe screenwriters not to use flashbacks and voice overs...
They tend to be written very weak and give away way too much informaiton in the hands of amateurs.
Plain and simple.
And, if that's how your telephone scene/dialogue turns out -- then he's right. LOL.
Having said that...
If it's appropriate to the story as spat suggests, then by all means use it.
Just keep it short and interesting.
If these characters are on cell phones or regular phones, consider putting them in visual locations and having them perform some other function while they talk on the phone. The function doesn't have to be germane to the scene itself... It could something as simple as a guy walking his dog and while he's talking on the phone, his dog starts humping someone else's dog.
In other words, kill two birds with one phone.
filmy
Joe,
With all due respect to your mentor.... you can do whatever you want, technically... I say this because:
Even though we all wanna be great directors
we are not there yet. So technically all the rules can go right out the window. Since we are not "Hollywood", we don't really have anyone to answer to but ourselves. Can you imagine the filmmaker of "Run, Lola, Run" explaining their idea to someone? The point is, you have to make whatever it is you are going to do work. You have to come up with a way, that doesn't bore people or stretch reasonable plausibility. If you can figure out a good way to do that, who's to say you can't? You can almost do whatever you want. But what you do has to be better than the other guy, has to work better than the last place you saw it done. My dad used to say: just because it hasn't been done before, doesn't mean it won't work.
...and speaking of the phone thing being done before, two movies: "Phonebooth" and "Cellular".
You just have to do better than the other guy....
-- spinner
With all due respect to your mentor.... you can do whatever you want, technically... I say this because:
Even though we all wanna be great directors
we are not there yet. So technically all the rules can go right out the window. Since we are not "Hollywood", we don't really have anyone to answer to but ourselves. Can you imagine the filmmaker of "Run, Lola, Run" explaining their idea to someone? The point is, you have to make whatever it is you are going to do work. You have to come up with a way, that doesn't bore people or stretch reasonable plausibility. If you can figure out a good way to do that, who's to say you can't? You can almost do whatever you want. But what you do has to be better than the other guy, has to work better than the last place you saw it done. My dad used to say: just because it hasn't been done before, doesn't mean it won't work....and speaking of the phone thing being done before, two movies: "Phonebooth" and "Cellular".
You just have to do better than the other guy....
-- spinner
Filmy...are you really Joe999 and started this thread just to make that pun?
knightly...
LOL... No but I do want to thank Joe999 because I've had that one up my sleeve for years. LOL.
Finally got a chance to use it.
filmy