Organ Donor - Two One Charlie

[VPTurner]

Organ Lottery - Two One Charlie

Still a ways to go with this, but only had time tonight to bang out just over three pages. Probably need at least ten to complete this sequence.

Figured I'd post this now since everyone is going in varied directions. This segment will ultimately combine family drama with conspiracy theory.

http://www.angelfire.com/on2/Vinnie/Two_One_Charlie.pdf

 

[NickClapper]

Knightly- I agree that we want to give the remote units as much freedom to explore the stimulus as possible, so I would never want to interfere with what you and VPT want to do.

My concern is that if in your script you decide that the entire lottery is being corruptly controlled, well, that affects every script that's being written. It also diminishes the pathos of, for example, my script where an audience would know that he's not going to receive an organ. I think it's important that we keep that uncertainty right up until the final frame, especially for the threads that are going to rely on building an emotional connection.

I had a thought for your thread which you can disregard at will. How about instead of Bruce overhearing about corruption in the lottery specifically, he overhears 'generic sinister talk' and what not. Then, in order to buy his silence, he is offered the chance to win a kidney in the draw. That would mean that the whole corruption issue is still hinted at and addressed, but without telling the audience that the whole lottery, worldwide, is being controlled.

Once again I would reiterate that I am not seeking to prevent anybody from being creative with their segment but I am trying to look at how they will all eventually fit together...

 

[knightly]

...in your script you decide that the entire lottery is being corruptly controlled...

not the entire thing, just a single example of bad people doing bad things... not necessarily at the management level of Global Company Y. Just that there is corruption in the world that it affects real people in real ways. Again, it's currently an exploration that is extremely unfinished - to the point where there's nothing concrete about the conspiracy at all, currently just an attempt to commit a crime, no results written at this point...

Patience grasshopper

 

[Tinalera]

I don't have much to offer- I'm finding the ideas fascinating, and some of the directions of these scripts! Looks like it will be quite a neat story when it's all put together!

I would love to join in, but so many projects already on the go (including TAFFFFF entry )-just wanted to say keep up the good work on these!

 

[Flicker Pictures]

I don't care if this is for the Organ Donor project or what... it's darn good writing, Vince.

The opening action paints a completely believable picture and sets the tone right up front. I'm a big fan of the sparse dialog. Maybe get rid of the second "seriously?"

No real quibbles, dude. Good writn', Tex! What else ya got cookin'?

 

[VPTurner]

I don't care if this is for the Organ Donor project or what... it's darn good writing, Vince.

The opening action paints a completely believable picture and sets the tone right up front. I'm a big fan of the sparse dialog. Maybe get rid of the second "seriously?"

No real quibbles, dude. Good writn', Tex! What else ya got cookin'?

Thanks.

Second "seriously" was a mocking tone if you're referring to mom's response.

But I just got back from vacation. We were in Colorado (Steamboat Springs). First time I've booted a computer since last Wednesday. Haven't written the second half of this segment yet, although I know where it's going. I need to get caught up on everything that's happened over the last several days.

What else is cooking? A supernatural thriller, a horror, a sci-fi thriller, a family drama...