As DeJager and WhiteOpus have said, it's important to have at least some sample work, or a video of sorts. At least a video where you introduce yourself and the story.
Other issues:
-You don't seem to be an experienced filmmaker by any means. You're a musician and "into technology and editing" (a weird sentence) and say a few things that kind of indicate that lack of experience. Not that that means you shouldn't make a film. But it doesn't really inspire people to give you $5000.
-You don't seem to have even budgeted this film properly. You're breakdown of the costs is vague ("all the things you would think you'd need to get a amateur film going") and at times ridiculous. What does "to get more in depth" even mean? How much actual pre-production on the creative and logistical sides have you done? Are there any actors (or other technical areas attached)? Do you have a script? How did you even arrive at a figure of $5000? Also people typically don't want to give you money to buy gear ("The larger portion will go towards the filming and camera side of things")
-It's poorly written. There are a few simple mistakes (stray capital letters, for example) that could've been saved by having someone proofread. Wording is just awkward and makes you sound more immature than I imagine you are. Further, do NOT underplay your own project. "Now much of a reward" an "amateur" film are hardly convincing phrases. Try "a small thanks" and "independent."
-$10 for a credit... maybe in the early days of kickstarter someone with a decent following could justify that. But that's essentially asking for a hand out. Your rewards in general aren't great - though I have seen worse for $50. But $100 for a poster is a bit steep - at least chuck in a DVD or a tshirt for that. Again, you lack of planning becomes evident here - "we can discuss the poster design." You're asking the consumer to design their own poster? They could make it themselves!
-How are you marketing it? You need to really active in your marketing to even get close to your goal. For example I only see a twitter link on the indiegogo page. Twitter is important if you're doing social media marketing. But so is facebook - probably moreso. Nearly everyone has facebook, less people have twitter. Marketing here isn't the best place to market either (though it's a good place to get feedback). We're all poor filmmakers trying to get money for our own projects, so we're a particularly tough crowd to convince. But if you are going to market here (and everywhere else) you have to remain active. It's been nearly 20 hours since you started this thread, and you've not returned to respond to any questions or engage in discussion. It makes it pretty apparent you're bludgeoning off the community. That'd be more acceptable if you tried to engage with the community. Even better if you'd planned this more and has made yourself an active member of the community (and other communities relevant to your film) prior to launching your campaign - so then people may see you as a friend, not a salesperson. As many people will tell you on this forum, marketing and raising money for you film takes more work than the film itself.
I'm really sorry if that seems harsh, but IndieTalk gets a lot of kickstarter threads in a similar vein. Most people either never return or react angrily to comments like these. This comment is intended to help guide you. You seem like a nice and well meaning person, but that doesn't really mean I want to give you $5000 to make your first film (correct me if i'm wrong - but if I am, it should be a lot more apparent). I will say, though, the photos you have the film do look really good
