Thank you for your posts and comments.. i will detail as many answers as i can here..
1.) No campaign video and only a short amount of text- is that really enough when you're asking for $150,000?
I agree, there is no campaign video, the reasons being that i have just finished putting the budgeting together, and have not as yet aqcuired the cast, i have some crew lined up, and am currently in discussions with some stars, with regards to working on this production. as for the text, as time progresses more will be added.
2.) Flexible funding campaign. How will you make this film if you raise $5,000 of your $150,000 goal?
I plan on production in July 2013, i am currently in discussions with Carling, Google, VW, Zippo, with regards to product placement and also have plans to speak with several others, for instance, fuel companies (shell, tesco, bp etc) as well as supermarkets, exterminators, and many other people.
4.) The grammar in your pitch and perks is a little off. Make sure you capitalise properly.
Unfortunately my grammer is terrible, i admit it, and my spelling is also terrible at times, but i am a producing director, not a writter, i will get that looked at once i get someone on board, who can do this
5.) No reference to any of the previous work of the team. Is this their first film? Do they have the necessary experience to command a $150,000 budget?
At this precise moment i am looking for team, i have posts in several film recruitment sites, and the facebook page has a current list of crew. again once the crew is in place this will be updated. as for examples, of my work, there is my youtube channel, which you can access through my personal website.
And I'd remove the following line: "By contributing, you are helping an independant film maker, reach his goal in life."
It just screams "MAN-CHILD PUBERTY!"
Right regarding this, i will remove it thanks.. i am a 35 year old mature student, who is hitting an average of 65-80% grade. I have spent several years on the dole. and decided to do something with my life.. hense this post.
Do you have any cast or crew talent attached already?
an direct answer would be no. however i am in discussions with agents of several B class actors, and actresses, in a hopes to pull them onboard.
5)“We are planning on going into self distribution and as such costs will be dramatically reduced.” Really? I’d have though traditional distribution (i.e. having a distributor pay for and do everything for you) would be cheaper than self distribution (where you have to pay for and do everything yourself).
No.. if i went through a distributor and let them deal with it, i would see maybe 50p per dvd sold. if we do this ourselves, through the use of salesmen whose job it will be to sell. we will see 90% of the sale value. I already have a quote of 16,000 pounds for 100,000 dvd's shrink wrapped, and delivered to my door. this results in us obtaining more funds, which in turn answers your next question.. we can make additional films.
Again thank you for your comments, i hope i have alleviated some of your queries.
Cheers
keith