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New Feature Film Idea

B

benllben

Hey guys, the following idea is for a possible feature film i may possibly produce. It is based very loosely around things currently happening in my life, which is actually were i got this idea from. I want to know if the idea is any good, and if it would be worth producing.

I also would like to know if it should be a short movie or feature length (40+ mins). I was leaning towards Feature just to have the time to get the audience emotionally attached at the beginning. Then there would be plenty of time for many different scenes in the main part of the movie. Generally Longer short movies dont go down to well, and i would like to enter into a film competition.

Anyway here is the idea, let me know what you think..

-----

The story starts off with two best fiends, one being male the other female. They are having such a great time together as they always do, but the day is growing old and they eventually must split. Several days lapse before the male decides to contact his friend again, despite his efforts, several days pass without response. He begins to become agitated and upset, realizing this is unusual for his friend.

Two weeks pass, and he has still had no luck contacting his female friend, nor has anyone else he has spoken to. Suddenly one night while sleeping he receives a call... From his bed he reaches over and answers his phone answering it to the plea for help from his female friend.

The struggle is now on to rescue his friend, he will not give up and will do anything to protect her.
 
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Hi, Ben
And Happy New Year!

Boy has girl.
Boy loses girl.
Boy gets girl.

Classic.
Go with it - as a short. ;)


Just watched (most of) ZOMBIE TRAIL.
Started skipping ahead by minutes a few minutes in.
Decent enough first short.
Lovely location and friends.

Download FREE screenwriting software: http://celtx.com/
Begin learning proper screenplay writing format (onerous as it is): http://www.scribd.com/doc/12721428/Professional-Screenplay-Formatting-Guide
Familiarize yourself with a three act structure:
20110720StoryConstraints-Compact-1.jpg


See it in other (not all!) stories:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet...EI1dGU1VUxaVDhCQmVnVFBLeUxSaWc&hl=en_US#gid=0

Rough out your own story - as a short - then go for it!
I'd try to keep it under 10min, as well.
You don't want to overtax your resources, juno?
You've got enough to fight with just dealing with the equipment.
You don't want to alienate your talent resources on a feature length project just yet.

GL!
 
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Great!

The idea presented is broad enough to where you could pull either a short OR a feature from it. I say go with the feature because, at least, I see a million and two different directions you could go with this and the idea is solid and something interesting!
 
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Alright, lettuce consider a feature.

We've got what looks to be young man here with presumably common young man financial and human resource assets/resources.

He's posted one <10min short with a whole lotta friends walking, walking, walking, walking, etc.
How many edits was that?
How many hours of files did he record just to boil it down to <10min?
How many hours in the field did he have to organize his friends out amid the lovely rocky forest stream?

Now, you guys are proposing that he produce a ballpark 90min feature.
He's gotta invest how many hours into writing and rewriting and rewriting a sensible feature length 90 - 100 page screenplay?
And he's gotta organize how many people across how many different locations?
And how much "field time' is young Ben going to hafta spend?
And how many hours of material is he gonna hafta shoot?
And how many edits is he going to hafta cut?

You sure he'll benefit most from one 90min feature or nine 10min shorts, or ten 9min shorts?
 
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Frankly speaking, I need to hear a bit more fleshed out story before I can even suggest whether it should be a short or feature.. Right now it's more of a logline..
Keep working on it and keep us updated..all the best. :)
 
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rayw said:
Alright, lettuce consider a feature.

We've got what looks to be young man here with presumably common young man financial and human resource assets/resources.

He's posted one <10min short with a whole lotta friends walking, walking, walking, walking, etc.
How many edits was that?
How many hours of files did he record just to boil it down to <10min?
How many hours in the field did he have to organize his friends out amid the lovely rocky forest stream?

Now, you guys are proposing that he produce a ballpark 90min feature.
He's gotta invest how many hours into writing and rewriting and rewriting a sensible feature length 90 - 100 page screenplay?
And he's gotta organize how many people across how many different locations?
And how much "field time' is young Ben going to hafta spend?
And how many hours of material is he gonna hafta shoot?
And how many edits is he going to hafta cut?

You sure he'll benefit most from one 90min feature or nine 10min shorts, or ten 9min shorts?
Click to expand...

I respect you , you obviously are one of the top notches on the forum :) (respect)



but a good screenwriter can quickly write something up here?

It does have alot what we seen before but spin it up maybe some comedy even could be something
 
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The story starts off with two best fiends, one being male the other female. They are having such a great time together as they always do, but the day is growing old and they eventually must split. Several days lapse before the male decides to contact his friend again, despite his efforts, several days pass without response. He begins to become agitated and upset, realizing this is unusual for his friend.

Two weeks pass, and he has still had no luck contacting his female friend, nor has anyone else he has spoken to. Suddenly one night while sleeping he receives a call... From his bed he reaches over and answers his phone answering it to the plea for help from his female friend.

The struggle is now on to rescue his friend, he will not give up and will do anything to protect her.

The story starts off with two best fiends, one being male the other female. They are having such a great time together as they always do

EXT. BEACH - HAWIAI - NIGHT
We see ben and his girl jemma having a nice red wine together as they click glasses together

BEN
this is the best night ever

jen presses her glass to his

JENNA
Hmmm this could get better

BEN
What does that mean? (curious)

Jenna takes the glass and sips it (with a gleemy ey look)

JENNA
You'll just have to wait and see.

Jenna's phone rings, its her family not far away, you see they have met at a resort and Jenna unfortunetly in this moment she has come with this family.

on the phone

JENNA
Hello?

JENNA DAD (O.S)
Hello where are you , your mothers worried?

JENNA
Okay dad I'll be right there,

she flips the phone annoyed

JENNA
(to herself)
shit

BEN
Whats wrong

as he puts his glass down

Jenna sighs then looks up

JENNA
Its my partents.. they , the room was suppose to be to ourself,

BEN
ourself?

Jenna
(laughs) I mean myself, our self maybe you know what i mean

she gets up picks up her bag as ben is left holding his win glass

JENNA
Listen i gotta go sorry.

She writes her number down on white cloth

and begins to walk off ben calls out

BEN
What happend to this could be better?

jen walsk off with a smile

JEN
It still could

Ben kicks back with his drink and ponders, then he looks hes at a table by himself now


SO thats the "The story starts off with two best fiends, one being male the other female. They are having such a great time together as they always do, but the day is growing old and they eventually must split."

Except i put it at night a good writer will intune to a good story .
 
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thevision said:
I respect you , you obviously are one of the top notches on the forum :) (respect)
but a good screenwriter can quickly write something up here?
Click to expand...
Thank you. And equal respect right back atcha! :cool: :yes:

I'm fairly sure young Ben doesn't have access to a talent pool of alcoholic drinking age couples out on horny suggestive dates.

So a different good screenwriter writes within his resource capabilities, including talent.
Expect the parents of Ben's talent to be carefully scrutinizing as to what their non-legal adults are up to.
Write accordingly.

Ah.... the politics of family, friends, and filmmaking. :lol:

For some bizarro reason it's okay if our kids run & gun - but - it's not so okay if they google-eye each other and dry hump.
Whatever.
I don't make the rules.
I just deal with the stupid social mores we have. ;)
 
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Ben takes a big scull of his drinks with hot hawaii chicks dancing around everywhere
montage (drunk montage)

cut to:

Time to import actor for the role i think So actor i'm thinking hangover actor bradley cooper


INT: HOTEL ROOM

we see ben wake up grabin his head

Philipono lady
hello mr d i have cleaned all your clothes

BEN whipes his head

BEN
Thanks,

then reliseas the number from the girl

BEN
No. Wait.


BEN
(to himself)
oh shit

he looks over and sees a philopino women organisin his clothes as she slaps them on the bed

PHILIPONO WOMAN
your clothes are don sir

as she dips them in water

ben reliseas the hot chick

ben
what do you mean the clothes are don

he gets up bumps her aside

grabs threw his pocket jeans

he pulls out the number of jen the card

its faded from the wash

BEN
oh shit

he flaps it and blows it with his mouth to get her name on the card but its to faded

all he sees is Jen and faded number

he spreads the paper front of philopino women

ben
can you read this

philopino women
sorry sir i

ben
(to himself)
shit fuck

he runs out the room slides down the rails

and to the counter

hello , i'm looking for a girl that was just her. last night jen
 
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rayw said:
Thank you. And equal respect right back atcha! :cool: :yes:

I'm fairly sure young Ben doesn't have access to talent a talent pool of alcoholic drinking age couples out on horny suggestive dates.

Suggestive dates the date is with jenna the girl that has to leave the situation?

So a different good screenwriter writes within his resource capabilities, including talent.
Expect the parents of Ben's talent to be carefully scrutinizing as to what their non-legal adults are up to.
Write accordingly.

Ah.... the politics of family, friends, and filmmaking. :lol:

?

For some bizarro reason it's okay if our kids run & gun - but - it's not so okay if they google-eye each other and dry hump.
Whatever.
I don't make the rules.
I just deal with the stupid social mores we have. ;)
Click to expand...


Maybe we arn't on same level of respect I thought thanks , I dont understant your reply at all
 
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Ben's in high school.
You gotta respect that he's likely not going to have drinking, sexing, and swearing friends in his feature length or short film.
Screenwrite accordingly.
 
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thevision said:
Ben takes a big scull of his drinks with hot hawaii chicks dancing around everywhere
montage (drunk montage)

cut to:

Time to import actor for the role i think So actor i'm thinking hangover actor bradley cooper


INT: HOTEL ROOM

we see ben wake up grabin his head

Philipono lady
hello mr d i have cleaned all your clothes

BEN whipes his head

BEN
Thanks,

then reliseas the number from the girl

BEN
No. Wait.


BEN
(to himself)
oh shit

he looks over and sees a philopino women organisin his clothes as she slaps them on the bed

PHILIPONO WOMAN
your clothes are don sir

as she dips them in water

ben reliseas the hot chick

ben
what do you mean the clothes are don

he gets up bumps her aside

grabs threw his pocket jeans

he pulls out the number of jen the card

its faded from the wash

BEN
oh shit

he flaps it and blows it with his mouth to get her name on the card but its to faded

all he sees is Jen and faded number

he spreads the paper front of philopino women

ben
can you read this

philopino women
sorry sir i

ben
(to himself)
shit fuck

he runs out the room slides down the rails

and to the counter

hello , i'm looking for a girl that was just her. last night jen
Click to expand...

Ben shows the faded piece of paper to the pretty counter girl

BEN
Her name was jen, she was here last night

counter girl
sir we have plenty of people her last night

BEN
yer but she was special

he crouches in his nees and sits back on local black chair

the counter girl sees his concern

COUNTER GIRL
(to ben)
so you really liked her huh?

ben lays back on counter chair dissapointed with his head back, not eyese to the counter girl just dissapointed his eyes in the air

BEN
yES ... I really liked her

Counter girl looks at him with a smile shes cute herself good looking girl with read hair

Counter girl
Okay I will check again

Ben with his head back on the chair says nothing

close up we see the counter girl work ont he computer bring up couple of names then look ofer to ben in a sigh

COUNTER
Well there is two

BEN sits up

BEN
two is all i need

COUNTER
well its a big two ones in russia ones in new york

BEN
(excited)
NEW YORK, NEW YORK.

COUNTER GIRL looks again

COUNTER GIRL
this would be the JEN daughter of the new york mayor?

BEN GULPS

BEN
oh yep thats the one
 
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benllben said:
Hey guys, the following idea is for a possible feature film i may possibly produce. It is based very loosely around things currently happening in my life, which is actually were i got this idea from. I want to know if the idea is any good, and if it would be worth producing.

I also would like to know if it should be a short movie or feature length (40+ mins). I was leaning towards Feature just to have the time to get the audience emotionally attached at the beginning. Then there would be plenty of time for many different scenes in the main part of the movie. Generally Longer short movies dont go down to well, and i would like to enter into a film competition.

Anyway here is the idea, let me know what you think..

-----

The story starts off with two best fiends, one being male the other female. They are having such a great time together as they always do, but the day is growing old and they eventually must split. Several days lapse before the male decides to contact his friend again, despite his efforts, several days pass without response. He begins to become agitated and upset, realizing this is unusual for his friend.

Two weeks pass, and he has still had no luck contacting his female friend, nor has anyone else he has spoken to. Suddenly one night while sleeping he receives a call... From his bed he reaches over and answers his phone answering it to the plea for help from his female friend.

The struggle is now on to rescue his friend, he will not give up and will do anything to protect her.
Click to expand...

He doesn't mention high school okay well okay see where your going now cheers
 
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rayw said:
Ben's in high school.
You gotta respect that he's likely not going to have drinking, sexing, and swearing friends in his feature length or short film.
Screenwrite accordingly.
Click to expand...


where does it say hes' in high school ?

You are allocating intent where there, where does it say he's in high school.

your having a go at my writing yet again.
 
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