archived-videos Need you inputs on my short horror film (going to festival)

T

TheKoreandonut

Hello,

I put this up about a week ago I posted this but didn't explain what it is. It is a short horror/suspense that I worked on for 8 months. I took techniques from some of my favorite directors (especially David Lynch) and used to tell my own tale. I will be re-editing and making a festival cut - so your inputs are greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Warning: Contains adult language and themes.

TKD A.K.A Green Banner Films

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuUNFyoJ0-Y
 
Upvote 0
I only watched up to 1:36.

It took :20 seconds for your title to scroll across the screen. A no-no. 3 or 4 second max for title.

First image was at :23. Too long to make your audience wait.

Footage between :26 and :30 doesn't work. Fix it or cut it out. Your first image must hook your audience. :30 to :33 is much better.

I quit watching because of the slow pacing and too much shaky cam.

Good luck.
 
Thanks for giving you opinion! Though I agree with a lot of what you say -- a lot of what you see as "problems" were done intentionally. The pacing is slow at first on purpose -- you must watch all of it to see what I'm saying. The shaky cam is also done intentionally to give feeling to different scenes. Half of the movie has steady shots as well.

The title is done to draw the viewer into the atmosphere of the story.

At the same time, there are some issues and I do appreciate your advice!

TKD
 
TheKoreandonut said:
Thanks for giving you opinion! Though I agree with a lot of what you say -- a lot of what you see as "problems" were done intentionally. The pacing is slow at first on purpose -- you must watch all of it to see what I'm saying. The shaky cam is also done intentionally to give feeling to different scenes. Half of the movie has steady shots as well.

The title is done to draw the viewer into the atmosphere of the story.

At the same time, there are some issues and I do appreciate your advice!

TKD
Click to expand...

I was hoping someone else would watch so you could get a variety of feedback.

Let me say this: Perhaps the film does become FANTASTIC later on, but for the most part, the audience isn't going to stick around to find out. You've got to hook them right off the bat and draw them to the meat. You and I are not Stanley Kubrick so we have to edit our films to manipulate the audience into watching the whole thing.

Perhaps now that we've a few posts in this thread perhaps someone else will give your film a shot! :)
 
GuerrillaAngel said:
I was hoping someone else would watch so you could get a variety of feedback.

Let me say this: Perhaps the film does become FANTASTIC later on, but for the most part, the audience isn't going to stick around to find out. You've got to hook them right off the bat and draw them to the meat. You and I are not Stanley Kubrick so we have to edit our films to manipulate the audience into watching the whole thing.

Perhaps now that we've a few posts in this thread perhaps someone else will give your film a shot! :)
Click to expand...

I bailed at < 2min for the same reasons.


Simple math:
- the youtube audience can instantly see this is a 16minute TIME INVESTMENT.
- the first minute was excruciating...
- which means the remaining fifteen minutes is likely to be the same.
- I don't wanna watch sixteen minutes of slow.
- I got better things to do.
- The little red circle-X in my google chrome tab is a mouse click away!!!!!




Note to self:
Never ever ever never consider luring the audience in with slow buildup.
Hook 'em THEN torture them AFTER they're caught.​



To subdue your (excessive) shakey-cam consider attaching it to your tripod with the legs all retracted.
The extra weight will give your arm muscles something to do other than twitch at every random impulse jumping down the nerves.

The editing for time is actually fine. It's the content and "suggestion" of a story that's impairing the product.

FWIW, IMHO, something has gotta be REEEEEEALLY freaky weird for me to take interest.
Not just regular freaky weird semi-psychotic "Oh-gee! What-is-this?! I-just-gotta-see-where-this-goes-before-the-turnip-truck-drives-too-far-away!!!!"

Juno?
 
Couldn't do it.. 2 minutes into it, and I don't really know whats going on. Saw two guys playing chess, and one of them had a pawn. Then he freaked out..

I don't want to go into technical details, but the short movie got to catch my interest in first 30 seconds.

sorry :-S
 
LOL! Sorry for the torture guys. Maybe that's one of the problems, I have a "feature" length intro on a "short" film. rayw - I like the idea about the tripod for handheld shots. GuerillaAngel - thanks for looking out, I hope someone here will be willing to take the 16 min plunge!

TKD
 
Here are some comments after watching your film:

- Like other posters said, the opening title shot is too long, although I didn't mind the shot itself. I'd jump in strong to the story, and then a bit later bring in the title.
- It never seemed like Korea, especially with the German soundtracks and primarily anglo actors.
- I think *you* know what the story is, but I didn't get it and doubt festival programmers will either. Gotta bring your audience in quick (and effectively) so you don't lose them! One early "huh?" was when the dude brought out the pawn after being invited into the game. Really don't know what that was about, nor his scream. --Simply not enough story stuff at that point to understand.
- Sound in first few minutes had rustling that was there, then not. That can work if it fits the story and is consistent, but here it seemed amateurish. Also, had trouble understanding dialog until several minutes in.
- The shaky camera in the first few minutes was jarring to the point of being irritating, like a conversation when you are constantly interrupted. Maybe that's what you wanted? After that you settled down and it was okay. Re: your response to the shaky cam I didn't see any payoff.
- The main character (at least who I thought was) disappeared during the middle, then came back at the end. "Whose story is this?" was the question I kept asking myself.
- It didn't seem like a 'horror' film to me.

You deserve a pat on the back for putting 8 months into your film, but suggest you hit the editing bay before sending it out to festivals. You are *smart* for posting it here for comments before doing so.

Best of luck!
 
kjones said:
Here are some comments after watching your film:

- Like other posters said, the opening title shot is too long, although I didn't mind the shot itself. I'd jump in strong to the story, and then a bit later bring in the title.
- It never seemed like Korea, especially with the German soundtracks and primarily anglo actors.
- I think *you* know what the story is, but I didn't get it and doubt festival programmers will either. Gotta bring your audience in quick (and effectively) so you don't lose them! One early "huh?" was when the dude brought out the pawn after being invited into the game. Really don't know what that was about, nor his scream. --Simply not enough story stuff at that point to understand.
- Sound in first few minutes had rustling that was there, then not. That can work if it fits the story and is consistent, but here it seemed amateurish. Also, had trouble understanding dialog until several minutes in.
- The shaky camera in the first few minutes was jarring to the point of being irritating, like a conversation when you are constantly interrupted. Maybe that's what you wanted? After that you settled down and it was okay. Re: your response to the shaky cam I didn't see any payoff.
- The main character (at least who I thought was) disappeared during the middle, then came back at the end. "Whose story is this?" was the question I kept asking myself.
- It didn't seem like a 'horror' film to me.

You deserve a pat on the back for putting 8 months into your film, but suggest you hit the editing bay before sending it out to festivals. You are *smart* for posting it here for comments before doing so.

Best of luck!
Click to expand...
Thanks for the feedback KrJones. This thread had inspired me to get the festival cut started and I've been putting a lot of hours into it. Now, with that being said, the finished product will more than likely be about 40 mins long - which is a big no-no for a short, but I kinda like that as well. As for some of the shaky shots - I've been smoothing them out with with AE and FCP X - something that I'm usually opposed to doing.

Now for the story; it is actually shot on location - in Korean, near the real Aragon Alley (look it up on Wiki for more detail). There are a couple of shots that show it in it's full glory. The story is basically the experience of a man dealing with several different emotions while in a far away land. The content of the film is based on stuff one might see/hear/think while in that situation. The chess game does means something but I think you can figure it out with out me saying anything. Believe it or not, this movie is meant to be straightforward and simple - pure emotion.
 
I'd strongly encourage you to take the meat ax to it and cut that 16 minutes down to about 9 or 10 minutes rather than blowing it up into 40 minutes. You will have virtually no chance of getting a 40 minute short programmed in a festival. It's not impossible, but it's very, very, VERY hard. For most festivals to program a short over 20 minutes (much less 40) they are going to have to LOVE it.
 
Based on the film and what you've posted, this seems like to be an emotional journey for you. That's fine, make it the way you want, as long as you want. But when you involve an audience, and want their approval (aka festival programmers), that's different. You don't get the opportunity to explain what it's about, what it means. In just this way I made crucial mistakes in my short film last year. The telling of the film must be accessible to your audience. Overall, it seems much of the film is in your head.

"...I think you can figure it out..." is arrogant frankly, and it wasn't engaging enough for me to go back and watch it again to figure it out. You get one shot from a festival programmer. And they won't look anything up on wiki to help you.

Agree with Gonzo's opinion re: 40 minute length.

Wishing you the best of luck, my friend.
 
kjones said:
Based on the film and what you've posted, this seems like to be an emotional journey for you. That's fine, make it the way you want, as long as you want. But when you involve an audience, and want their approval (aka festival programmers), that's different. You don't get the opportunity to explain what it's about, what it means. In just this way I made crucial mistakes in my short film last year. The telling of the film must be accessible to your audience. Overall, it seems much of the film is in your head.

"...I think you can figure it out..." is arrogant frankly, and it wasn't engaging enough for me to go back and watch it again to figure it out. You get one shot from a festival programmer. And they won't look anything up on wiki to help you.

Agree with Gonzo's opinion re: 40 minute length.

Wishing you the best of luck, my friend.
Click to expand...
Kjones - my bad on that statement I made. I didn't mean for it to come out that way! The chess game is basically a map, a marker of the journey -- in a very stylized way. I agree that this film will turn off a lot of people - even without any technical issues. Lately, I've been toying with the idea to make the story more linear and to extend it to a feature length movie (I already have more ideas to add to the story to make it run a bit more smoothly). Bad idea? I'm actually kinda relieve that not too much has been said about the sound design - that's my weakest link.
 
Ok, I understand that jou took Inland Empire as a base for joure film. But taking David's handwriting will not guarantee a good movie....Jou have to find joure own Surealistich simbolism and handwriting.

In joure movie there are 2 (or3) moments of popmusic followd by soundschapes. This takes me out of it. There are moments the dialog is hard to follow by the sound of bystanders....This takes me out of it.

I know David used cheap cameras for Inland Empire, But he always ussed steady shots, or used good lichting gonditions. Bad shots wil take me out of it.

Ok

I like the shot from 4:30 (the part from 4:45 took me out of it, make it more monstrous)
I like the 6:00 part.
I like the 3:24 part

This movie has a Anti climax

There is only one person that can make a David Linch movie.....David Linch.
There is only one person that can make a Matthew Barney movie.....Matthew Barney.
There is only one person that can make a David firth movie....... David firth.
There is only one person that can make a Guy Maddin movie....... Guy Maddin.
There is only one person that can make a Alejandro Jodorowsky movie.....etcetra
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top