My idea is orignal ?

[ad2478]

Hi few days back i met aguy on internet. He wanted a script for his feature film (a teen comedy) which can be completed within 10k US dollars. I pitched him an idea which he said is not very orignal. The fact is that i created that idea myself but i dont know if it has been already shown in form of a feature film. Please read the idea and guide me if any movie has been made on this simple idea.
By the way i have one more idea. I am pitching you the idea.

Jim is a boy who has recently turned 16. He plans his life's first sex with his first ever girl friend "Tina". On saturday night Jim's Parents had to go to next town for a trip and had to return next morning. Jim decided to call "Tina" on that night. But That night had everything plannnd for him which he hadnt though of. Arrival of some interesting charachters ruined his plan.


Please tell me if any film has this type of idea.

Regards

 

[Will Vincent]

It sounds, in a way, similar to one of the subplots of American Pie, and countless teen films from the 80s.. so, the overall story concept is not original, no.. what you do with it certainly can be original enough to make a good film.

Incidentally, the other idea you mentioned recently, about the jungle where stories become real, is similar (in a way) to the new Adam Sandler film coming out, Bedtime Stories:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exLSSb2Fhlo

Don't be discouraged, there are only so many basic story lines and ideas, it's how you use those story lines and make them a new thing that's important.

 

[ad2478]

Thanks for telling me about both the stories Will. Well actually the story no doubt can be different but then the problem is what ever idea i pitch will have the same words. SO no one will get attracted towards me. []

 

[Will Vincent]

It all depends on the pitch I'd say.. there's no reason the story about Jim & Tina can't be great, but you have to really sell WHY this movie is great in the pitch, not just a broad overview of what happens.

 

[ad2478]

Hmm you mean little more details are needed.

 

[Xylofonic]

Will is wright. And yes you need more detail.
If Jim only has the problem to get some of his drunken friends out of Tinas sight by stowing them in a locker, that´s nothing special.
The plot has the problem that it was used over and over again, to make something exiting out of it is very difficult. You need very good plot points. Or you alter the whole story.

What might be different enough (just a brainstorm idea) is that anything works fine until Jim gets to know that there are no condoms. So he has to get some, but because of shame he is not just going to the local shop but instead enters an odysee from one friend to another with lots of awkward/funnie sidestories (example: Has to steal them out of his friends parents bedroom where they are sleeping or ment to be sleeping etc.). He becomes a figure like a dummy james bond.

 

[VPTurner]

The Last American Virgin comes to mind. I saw this back in the '80s.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084234/

 

[ad2478]

Xylofonic


you rock.... your ideas are great .By the way why dont we set a meeting online and work together for our script? I hope we can do something together? And it will come out great

 

[directorik]

Jim is a boy who has recently turned 16. He plans his life's first sex with his first ever girl friend "Tina". On saturday night Jim's Parents had to go to next town for a trip and had to return next morning. Jim decided to call "Tina" on that night. But That night had everything plannnd for him which he hadnt though of. Arrival of some interesting charachters ruined his plan.

This is simply a very bad pitch.

Your script might be very good and very funny with compelling
characters and a great story. But this pitch doesn't suggest any
of those things.

The key to your story isn't a 16 year old wanting sex. That is
the key of thousands of teen comedies.
The key to your story isn't the parents going to the next town.
The key isn't Jim deciding to call Tina on that night.

Yet these are the points you tell us in your pitch. And these points
are not original.

All that should be summed up in once sentence. "When Jim's parents
leave town for the weekend he sees his chance to finally lose his
virginity with his girlfriend, Tina." And that, itself isn't at all original.

The key to YOUR story seems to be the last line, "Arrival of some
interesting charachters ruined his plan." Yet you bury this. If you have
some very interesting characters in mind and some new and original
ways for them to ruin Jim's plan, you have a pitch.

You don't need more detail. You need a "hook" that is different that all
the other teen comedies about a teenager wanting to have sex while
his parents are out of town. If your hook is "some interesting characters"
then you need to tell us what makes them interesting.

 

[ad2478]

directorik You are really a GURU teaching me the best things. thanks to www.indietalk.com for providing us such a great place and great people.
Coming back to the topic thanks for guiding me about the main thing which is the last line. Well what is hook? can you define it a little for me?

 

[ad2478]

Well as far interesting charachters are concerned i havent developed them . Infact i should say i have created them but not given details to them. One is an old uncle which came to home to spend some time with JIM because the uncle thought he is alone and he might get upset or feel alone while his parents are away. secondly i though of 2 robbers (well not planning to do robery at JIM's place but want a place to hide because police is behind them) and few more charachters.

 

[Xylofonic]

Xylofonic


you rock.... your ideas are great .By the way why dont we set a meeting online and work together for our script? I hope we can do something together? And it will come out great

Your welcome. Yes why not, how is the time difergence between pakistan and austria? Also interessting would be where this film should be shot and shown.

 

[Will Vincent]

Well what is hook? can you define it a little for me?

A hook simply means something that will peak the interest of the audience, and in the case of a pitch, the hook is what will make the person you're pitching the story to actually WANT to hear about your story...

Take E.T. - it's a simple (though pretty original) hook - an alien child is left behind on earth, he's befriended by an earthling boy and together they figure out a way to get the alien kid back home.

Spiderman - A highschool outcast is bitten by a genetically modified spider on a school trip, causing him to evolve spider-like abilities, which he uses to get closer to the girl he's been admiring.

Terminator - A self-aware robot travels back in time to kill the mother of the man who will overcome the control of the robot race, so that the boy is never born.

Apollo 13 - A team of astronauts have to rely on the help of their grounded crew-mate in order to return home, after an explosion cripples their spacecraft leaving them unable to land on the moon, and uncertain of their ability to return to Earth.

Nightmare on Elm Street - a deranged child-killer attacks kids in their dreams, causing actual harm to their physical bodies. After trying to stay awake, the kids realize they can only defeat him in their dreams.

I dunno.. some of those are probably kind of rough, but hopefully you get the idea.

 

[ad2478]

Xylofonic

i dont have any idea about the time difference between Pakistan and austria. Secondly shooting the film etc is the matter about which we should not think at the momment. The most important thing is script . By the way my email id is

adeelakhter247@hotmail.com

if you use msn then add me. it will be helpful.


Will thanks for telling my the details with examples. These examples helped me a lot in understanding about HOOK


Regards

 

[Xylofonic]

Xylofonic

i dont have any idea about the time difference between Pakistan and austria. Secondly shooting the film etc is the matter about which we should not think at the momment. The most important thing is script . By the way my email id is

Regards

It is very important to know where the movie should be shown. Humor is different in many nations and the margins of bad taste are also. Thats the reason why national film business still exists as not all jokes are compatible. Take Austria for example, if you would have a nazi joke in your film you might get problems with the audience or even censorship. The same is true for jokes about jews or muslims (even if they themself would laught about it). It might be funny for the rest of the world but here people are extreme sensitive if it comes to nationalism/patriotism and racism.
Or look at turkey they even have a law against stating bad things about the state, even if its true.
Than there are religious jokes. I wouldn´t adopt a european joke about a priest to islam if the movie should be shown in saudi arabia.
We are not lifing in a global viladge, we are just trading in one.

 

[deejaybunny12]

Will, are you a superhuman or something? Because you ALWAYS have the right answer

Well, everyone gave GREAT advice here, something I wish I seriously can do. I'll give my 2 cents, but I think everyone already summed it up here. My advice sucks to compare to everybody else's here!

Well, this seems to me, only like the basics of your story. There's no "meat" to it- nothing out of the ordinary. But that's okay; basics is what it is, basic. There's more meat you can add to make it original.

Let's take this for example: your story is about a crazy guy. Okay, there's a billion of stories that involve crazy guys: from an Edgar Allen Poe story to, shoot, "To Kill a Mockingbird".

Okay, let's get more detailed.
A guy goes into a CRAZY place and meets CRAZY people.
A story tells about a crazy guy and a creepy old eye.

Both about crazy people, two totally different stories.

Okay, let's get even more meaty then that.
A man is sentenced to an asylum and does it in order to not pay the jail penalty by pretending he's crazy. He teaches the men how to defend for themselves. (this was worded a pretty bad, but the movie/book is "One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest").

A crazy guy loves the man he serves, but hates his eye. He then, going nuts, tries to get rid of the eye. He gets rid of the old man to get rid of his eye. (Edgar Allen Poe's "Tell Tale Heart".)

There's only so much you can do with just a basic idea; that's why you build on it. Basically, your story can be about a teen trying to lose his virginity; if you say, he tries to lose his virginity but can't due to cancer or his girlfriend and him are on a verge of a breakup or whatever, then you have the story scribbled down. In summary, BE MORE SPECIFIC.

Another thing is: it depends WHAT YOU DO WITH THE IDEA. Sure, you can have a story about a dude who's a killer, but what about the killer? Maybe your killer is different from other killers because he has a great heart, or your killer does it because he's in emotional pain, etc. Hopefully you get the idea and I'll be amazed if you do because I stink at explaining things, and I didn't explain this too well.

Hopes that helps a bit

 

[ad2478]

Xylofonic

well your points are valid. But the problem is that i dont think i will be able to shoot it.....why dont we try to finish it and sell it in US or UK (via internet)

 

[Xylofonic]

Xylofonic

well your points are valid. But the problem is that i dont think i will be able to shoot it.....why dont we try to finish it and sell it in US or UK (via internet)

Whats up. In your first post you wrote that you are looking for a script costing 10k$.
Selling a script via internet is a little bit strange, specially as it seems that you aren´t in contact with any serious production.
Very difficult it gets as the generell topic is not very original, so if you don´t know someone who just wants another variation how do you want to get someone interessted?

What would be your approach?

 

[ad2478]

Xylofonic I didnt said i am looking for a script of 10k$ Budget . Another person wanted a script of this budget so i offered him this idea. I know selling a script by internet is little wiered. And well thats true there are nearly no Indie FIlmmakers or Indie Pro houses in Pakistan. Majority of the people who are already in media are attracted towards TV Channel Productions.

By the way if you dont mind can you please tell me what do you mean by

Very difficult it gets as the generell topic is not very original, so if you don´t know someone who just wants another variation how do you want to get someone interessted?

I mean i want you to clear it a little more so that i can answer you.

Regards

 

[ad2478]

If you are talking about that guy so i want to tell i didnt knew that this idea is not orignal. I created this idea myself but later on came to know that this idea isnt orignal (untill i tell him more details.)


Regards