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watch My First Short Film

I liked the film. It definitely made its point loud and clear.
One thing I think it needs is a more hopeless feel from the character.

I know you were trying to keep his face hidden, I imagine for a universal feel, but maybe a slump of the shoulders when he is waking up. Or him stepping over a pretty flower on his walk... Something else that shows a total pitiful existence.

But even without that, I truly liked it.
Thanks for sharing it.

Joey
 
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joey1320 said:
I liked the film. It definitely made its point loud and cleared.
One thing I think it needs is a more hopeless feel from the character.

I know you were trying to keep his face hidden, I imagine for a universal feel, but maybe a slump of the shoulders when he is waking up. Or him stepping over a pretty flower on his walk... Something else that shows a total pitiful existence.

But even without that, I truly liked it.
Thanks for sharing it.

Joey
Click to expand...

Thanks Joey!

Point taken on the emphasis of the hopelessness.
 
At work at the moment, so watched it without sound, but still thoroughly enjoyed most of this film.

Of course, my opinion can't be completely relied upon without me having sound and everything, but I felt the (trying to think a way of addressing this without creating a spoiler) event was a little simple. In fact, it relies on a commonly used cliché about tomorrow and buses.

This is an interesting theme, one anybody who has had an unsatisfactory job can relate to (i.e. most of us at one point or another), and because of that, I feel it needed to undercut expectations more than it did. I feel the event used would have been the first idea someone would think of as a possible disruption to a life like this, but if there had been a bit more brainstorming (shit phrase, I know) something much more poignant and profound could have been discovered.

So, film making (from an imagery point of view) I really liked it. Story could be better. Great first film though!
 
The photography was superb. Nice use of limited sound and colour.

I agree with Henry Spencer about it needing a little more of a twist though and thought the font for the final title looked kind of cheap and should have been centered vertically between the bed and the painting.

Picky I know, but the way it types up on screen like that really draws your attention to it and when the rest of thing looked so polished it just looked a bit out of place to me.
 
You guys got what it takes to make films.

Quibbles: It could be shortened to 3:30 easily by trimming clips and the ridding of overlong clips (eg: notebook, remote control).

Fair warning though, film festival screeners are tired of the alarm clock - morning hygiene routine. Some might not get past the first 30 seconds -- its been done to death!
 
Thanks a lot for the reply everybody!

We did feel a little "incomplete" and a bit unsatisfied about the way it ended....but we kept dragging it around for too long without finishing it up and really had no direction after a point. So decided to run with what we had.

Thanks for the feedback on the Font and yes, I have new found respect for all filmmakers.

Really appreciate all the replies...means a lot to us.

We used my Canon 5D MkII and the following lenses:
100mm macro lens, 17-40mm and a 50mm prime lens

The auto accident - we sped up the last 3-4 frames by quite a bit. If you watch that scene closely, right when the car comes into the frame, the guy will walk very very fast, but it's just half a step.
 
Another thing, when the guy is writting on the notebook at the end of the day, you can clearly see the blurred out clock at the end of the desk - next time, don't make it so obvious.

Maybe place the camera on the left side of the hand, at an angle, and as the guy is writing towards the right, you get to see the clock. Something different and less simple than the one you did...
 
Nice camerawork, I enjoyed the limited color, although the super shallow depth of field got distracting at times. It did drag a little, and it was pretty predictable story-wise. A fantastic start though, as your first short film, I can tell you are well on your way.
 
Camerawork is excellent. But overall I think the film is quite sluggish. I'd suggest adding some ambient music.
 
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