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watch My first short film - INSIDE

Cool message :cool:

Film itself suffers from repetition. There's really only a handful of scenes, which have been stretched well beyond their meaningful point. Tbh, you could have cut this down to 30 seconds and had a much more direct & effective PSA... especially given the limited cast.

The story is there to be seen. It just needs the fat trimmed out.

Kinda dug the colour/bw thing as a tool.

What's next? There's another young Aussie filmmaker on the forum here, who started out making similar teen PSA challenges. Gonna be making another?

p.s. Please don't hang yourself 'cos I didn't give your flick 10/10 . :bag:

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I pretty much agree with everything ZenSteve said.

The music was good/appropriate. The bw/color change worked.

But, it could all be shortened down to like a 30 second PSA, because not a lot of variety of stuff happens - it becomes too repetitious.

It's a good start for your first short film, though. Keep it up.
 
Hello new dude :cool:

A bit long, and over dramatic. Yes, cyber-bullying is a huge issue, but "You're a loser" doesn't seem like something that someone would get really upset about. I could see a rumor or really offensive insult regarding a family member or friend of his, but an overused and cliched sentence just seemed a bit cheap and lazy. I have a feeling it would have been much more effective if you had shown something humiliating on a site like Facebook or Twitter, or his inbox cluttered with horrible comments.

The framing seemed very "off", largely due to the widescreen bars you added. You're often cutting off his mouth and forehead. It just looks wrong. Since we're on the subject of camera movement and cinematography, I thought some of the shots looked slightly out of focus and noisy.

Some handheld, closeups, and shaky shots would have been nice for when he is "inside". It would have added some tension and drama.

It's also a bit long. I think this could have been 30 seconds or a minute. Repetitious.

I liked the subtle color change, the music, the ending, and the overall concept. It just needs some fine tuning, refinement, and trimming.
 
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