archived-videos My First Narrative Film: "Something Missing"

There's a few things. Get multiple shots of the same scene or the same moment even if it means doing it over and over again. I noticed you had the same shot and different takes with different lines and it looked like it jumped or it lagged. That's where the different shots should come in. When pieced together, it'll flow smoothly and look better. Also, there was some parts where i could barely here anything. Once again, a different shot could be put in where the camera is closer and you can hear what it being said. Just a few sugestions, but i thought the overall idea was good and i liked your use of locations.
 
Thank you,

That's actually something I need to work on. I will try to get better for next time but in the words of Master Yoda... "Do or do not. There is no try."

No, but seriously... good feedback. I'll keep it in mind for my upcoming film, "Angel Maniac"...
 
Heh, the preaching's a bit clumsy but the message works out okay. :)

Btw, there actually is an industry standard for halal-certified products, designated by ISNA.
:secret:

Editing was pretty rough, but ya gotta work with the shots ya got. Better than my first film, anyway. :lol:

It ain't gonna win no Oscars, but hopefully you'll win a few minds... and sometimes that's all that matters.
 
Actually an interesting point about the "Shots ya (I) got"... I went kinda guerrilla filmmaker in that store... the owner was barely tolerating her screaming and yelling in there. I was kinda rushed but def by my own lack of foresight... I'm planning on paying off the store owner for the store scene in my new film and having him open half an hour early in the morning so that we can film with only our own personnel.

Thanks for the feedback.
 
Open half an hour early? I hope you're shooting a fifteen-second short.

Rule of Thirds.

180-degree Rule.

30-degree Rule.

Learn 'em. Practice 'em. That'd be a good start.

I'm sorry for being brutally frank, but nice Joseph has stepped out, and grumpy Joseph is giving you the advice you need.

Cheers, and good luck.
 
No, no... brutally frank is good
The half hour is for the first scene of the new short only... the vast majority is filmed at an apartment... Even still you are right I should probably get at least an hour.

Thank you...
 
lbradfordknowles said:
No, no... brutally frank is good
The half hour is for the first scene of the new short only... the vast majority is filmed at an apartment... Even still you are right I should probably get at least an hour.

Thank you...
Click to expand...

How many pages is the scene? One page, in one hour, is really fast, and that's if you're experienced and have a routine, and know exactly what you want to get.

Seriously, though, look into those three rules I mentioned. They're important. And you're running rough-shod all over them.

Cheers.
 
Performance-wise, if I may, drop the guy. The girl isn,t bad from what I've seen, but you should deffo look for another male actor for your next film.

Apart from that, I'd say the editing kind of lagged like was previously mentioned but keep up the good work, we can all only get better.
 
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